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**Arnold Ziffel** · September 10, 2021, 05:35 AM

Just as the band was forced by the pandemic to hold their annual band camp here at the school, so too did our cheerleaders. And while the cheerleaders apparently didn’t have any accident violations to account for at cheerleading “camp,” that’s not to say that they didn’t have any toilet violations at all. Our Cheerleading Coach Miss Musso – who is certainly no stranger to toilet violations herself – is here to present 2 cases of toilet violations among her cheerleaders. Coach Musso, as usual, is clad in her traditional red spandex sweatsuit and let me just say that she looks sensational.

Her first toilet violations case this afternoon concerns Cheryl, a senior beauty. She is charged with clogging a toilet – specifically, that she clogged it with a combination of a bowel movement and toilet paper – in the girls’ locker room on the first day of the “camp.” Coach Musso has duly noted this as a Category #2 clog on the Violation Report she filed against Cheryl in this case. The tall, blonde cheerleader, while admitting that she clogged the toilet – she used it during a break in cheerleading practice that day – maintains that it should be classified as a Category #1 instead of Category #2. A Category #1 clog is a slightly less serious violation under TVPC rules. Cheryl also maintains that her clogging it was unintentional.

To that latter point, Coach Musso is entirely in agreement. She tells the girl, “No one is saying that you did it on purpose. “She was clearly using the toilet like you’re supposed to be using the toilet – this time for a bowel movement,” the sexy Cheerleading Coach notes, “And unfortunately it was just too much for the toilet to handle.” The senior beauty blushes a bit in embarrassment at Coach Musso’s quite vivid characterization of the girl’s bowel movement. “Don’t be embarrassed, Cheryl – We all do it,” I tell her, “It would only be something to be embarrassed about if you’d done it in your pants.” “Thankfully, I didn’t do it in my pants, sir,” she tells me with a smile, “I don’t even want to think about what it would have been like having that kind of load in my pants.” Cheryl has maintained very good toilet habits throughout her high school career including having had no accidents in her 3 years of high school thus far.

As we delve into the case of her clogging the toilet, it would seem the only issue in dispute is what category of toilet clogging it was. Faithful readers of the TVPC surely know that TVPC rules delineate 5 different categories of toilet clogging. Category #1 – which Cheryl claims this was – is the least serious. It involves the toilet being clogged solely with a girl’s bowel movement. Category #2 – as Coach Musso has charged her – is a clogging involving the combination of a bowel movement and toilet paper. A Category #3 clog is a clog solely with toilet paper while a Category #4 is a clogging with either a girl’s sanitary pad or tampon or another type of garbage that shouldn’t be flushed down the toilet in the first place. And finally, a Category #5 – the most serious – is when a girl clogs a toilet by trying to flush down her soiled underwear.

As noted, Coach Musso has charged the pretty cheerleader with a Category #2 – a clog caused by the combination of the girl’s bowel movement and the toilet paper she used. Since Cherly is disputing that and claiming it’s only a Category #1, I ask her to explain why.

“It really wasn’t my toilet paper at all that caused the clog,” the pretty and well-spoken senior beauty tells us, “It was really my bowel movement itself that caused the clog.” “Well, it’s kind of embarrassing to say this, sir,” Cheryl continues, “But my bowel movement was just so big that it clogged the toilet all by itself.” “That’s never happened to me before, sir – I’ve never had a bowel movement that big before,” she explains, obviously a bit embarrassed, “But this time it was just that big – This time it was big enough to clog the toilet all by itself.” With that, I stop her a moment. I remind her again that a bowel movement – even an enormous one like that – is nothing to be ashamed of. “You went in the toilet, Cheryl – Judging by your toilet record, you apparently always go in the toilet,” I point out to her, “That’s what you’re supposed to do and it’s obviously nothing to be ashamed of.” “Not going in the toilet – Going in your pants in high school is what girls should be ashamed of,” I note. Cheryl nods her head in agreement with that. “Well, I do always go in the toilet, sir,” she says, shrugging her shoulder, “I just can’t believe that some girls go in their pants sometimes – that’s got to be like the most disgusting thing ever.”

But getting back to the matter at hand – that is, determining what category to classify Cheryl’s toilet clogging – I need some additional information. Upon further questioning from me, the gorgeous senior cheerleader admits that she did indeed use toilet paper. “Well, I always use toilet paper, sir,” she tells me, apparently puzzled as to why I would ask her about that.” “I even use toilet paper when I pee,” she explains, “And I most certainly use it when I go the other way.” “I think it’s disgusting not to wipe yourself – especially when it’s #2,” she says, “That’s almost as disgusting as just doing it in your pants in the first place.” But Cheryl apparently doesn’t see the point of my inquiry. “Did you throw your toilet paper in the toilet after you used it?” I ask her. She, of course, acknowledges that she did.

“She put toilet paper in the toilet, Mr. Chairman,” Coach Musso then chimes in, obviously reiterating what the girl just told us. But while our sexy Cheerleading Coach seems to be merely stating the obvious, that’s the central issue in this case. “I’m afraid that makes you guilty of a Category #2, Cheryl,” I tell the senior beauty and note for the record, “As long as there was toilet paper in the toilet along with your bowel movement, it’s a Category #2.” “I understand what you’re telling me – I understand that you’re saying that it wasn’t the toilet paper that actually caused the clog,” I explain, “But as long as there was toilet paper in the toilet, it’s considered part of the clog.”

Hearing that, the articulate senior honor student tries to speak up – perhaps to debate the issue. But I put up my hand to stop her. “Relax, Cheryl – you have nothing to worry about,” I tell her with a smile, “Even so, a Category #2 is not a serious offense.” Especially considering that she hasn’t committed a toilet violation since she was a sophomore – and that was only loitering in the girls’ room – there’s certainly no reason to punish her harshly. I give her a choice of serving 2 hours detention or writing, “I will not clog a toilet in school again” 200 times. Looking over at her, she seems unsure as to what to choose. “Or I suppose you can mix it up and serve 1 hour of detention and write the sentence 100 times,” I offer. Thinking a moment, she chooses that and thanks the TVPC for its leniency.

Our next matter from the cheerleading squad is a more serious one. Specifically, it’s a charge of using the faculty bathroom in the coaches’ office in the girls’ locker room. Faithful readers of the TVPC surely know that girls may not use any bathroom facilities that are reserved for faculty and staff. And the bathroom in the coaches’ office in the girls’ locker room – a more private single toilet facility – is one of them. Coach Musso has charged Kristen, a pretty brunette and incoming freshman with using that bathroom in violation of the rules. The specific charge is that Kristen did a bowel movement in there. Obviously, doing a bowel movement in a faculty bathroom is more serious than just urinating in one.

As I call Kristen to the podium, the petite braces-clad freshman seems quite obviously scared. Whether she knows specifically how much trouble she is in, I cannot say, but I’m thinking she clearly knows that this isn’t going to be good. Surprisingly, though, she denies that she did it and initially pleads “Not Guilty” to the charge. She admits that she did go to the bathroom in the girls’ locker room that day and admits to doing a bowel movement, but she claims to have actually done in the regular girls’ room toilets in there. “I did it in the regular bathroom, sir,” she tells me, though not looking me in the eye as she says it. “Coach Musso had given me permission to go and I went in the girls’ room in the locker room like I was supposed to,” she explains.

Hearing the girl’s explanation, Coach Musso doesn’t seem convinced of the girl’s innocence. “Come on, Kristen,” she tells the petite freshman sympathetically, “Don’t make it worse on yourself by lying.” “Come on, we both know what bathroom you used,” Coach Musso tells her, “We both know you didn’t use the locker room toilets but the one in the coaches’ office instead.” “You need to tell the truth, young lady,” she lectures the girl, “You know you did it and you’re only going to make it worse on yourself if you lie about it now.” Taking that as a cue – I then tell Kristen the same thing – that is, I warn her of the consequences for lying to the TVPC. “Using a faculty bathroom is a somewhat serious offense, young lady,” I point out, “And I’d say the last thing you need right now is to get yourself an additional punishment for lying about it. But Kristen still sticks with her story. “Not Guilty,” she insists.

She’s no doubt hanging her hopes on the fact that she was apparently alone in the girls’ locker room at the time and no one actually saw which bathroom she used. The fact that she didn’t end up with soiled panties that day, though, certainly suggests that she did indeed use the toilet somewhere. The issue for Coach Musso and the TVPC is to prove which bathroom she did do it in. But in spite of not having an eyewitness in the matter, Coach Musso has built an interesting case against the incoming freshman cheerleader.

“You not only used the faculty bathroom but you used up the last of the toilet paper in there,” Coach Musso continues, “When I sat down and did my own business in there later, you had left me nothing with which to wipe myself.” The Cheerleading Coach then explains that she had indeed given Kristen permission to go use the bathroom earlier. “We had just gotten back from a little break,” Coach Musso explains, “We had been working pretty hard and it was a hot day, so I had given the girls a 15 minute break to get a drink of water or go to the bathroom or whatever.” “But just as soon as we got back from break, Kristen comes up to me and asks to go to the girls’ room,” she tells us. “Of course, I was annoyed by that as she obviously should have taken care of that at the break,” Coach Musso explains. With that, she turns and gives the pretty freshman a look.

“Still even though I was annoyed, I was still pretty sure that she really did need to go,” the pretty Cheerleading Coach continues, “And I was also pretty sure I knew what she needed to do.” “I figured you needed to do #2 but just didn’t want to do it at the break with all those other girls around,” she tells the girl, “So I decided to let you go anyway.” “Since I figured that you really did have to go, I figured it best we try to avoid you having an accident right then and there,” she tells Kristen. “Rightfully, I should have just made you hold it in and wait for the next break,” she tells the freshman sternly, “But, as I said, I really don’t want to risk you having an accident right there.” “I figured you just wanted more privacy to use the toilet,” Coach Musso adds, “I figured you’d probably be alone in the locker room then and could then use the toilet there like you were supposed to.” Coach Musso then explains that at first, she didn’t have any reason to suspect anything was wrong. “When Kristen got back, I had every reason to believe she had just done her business in one of the appropriate toilets,” the coach tells us, “I mean, no one had actually seen her go into the Coaches’ Office bathroom.”

But at the next break, I went to use the bathroom myself,” the red spandex-clad coach continues, “I sat down and did my business there and I suddenly found myself without any toilet paper.” “I found myself just sitting there without anything with which to wipe myself,” she then turns and says to Kristen in an angry tone, “And it was quite a messy one, to boot.” “There was toilet paper there during the previous break – I saw myself that the roll was running low but that there was still a good bit left, young lady,” she says to the girl, “But then later when we got to the next break, all that toilet paper was gone.” “I know that no one actually saw you going in to that particular bathroom, Kristen,” she continues, “But how else am I supposed to account for that missing toilet paper?” “I’m sorry but you were the only one that was in there during the intervening time, young lady,” Coach Musso tells her, “You were the only one who had the opportunity to use that staff bathroom.” “It was you who used the rest of that toilet when you went in there, wasn’t it?” she then confronts Kristen directly, “You did use that faculty bathroom, didn’t you?”

Now looking over at Kristen, the pretty freshman cheerleader now has the look of a deer caught in the headlights or someone who has just had their whole world come crashing down on her. I tell her that so far the TVPC can overlook any lies she’s told us in this matter. But I warn her that if she persists in lying beyond this point, the TVPC cannot help her. “There comes a time when there are consequences for lying to the TVPC, young lady,” I tell her, “And that time is now.”

As Kristen contemplates what to do next, she suddenly breaks down in tears. “O.K.! – I did it!!” she suddenly says through a river of tears. “I didn’t use the regular toilets in the girls’ locker room,” she confesses, “I used the bathroom in the coaches’ office instead.” “Please, sir! – I just didn’t want to go in my pants,” she then pleads, “I had to go real bad and I just didn’t want to go in my pants.” “Well, young lady, you certainly could have prevented going in your pants by using the toilets in the girls’ locker room,” I remind her sternly, “There’s certainly no reason you had to go into the coaches’ office to avoid that.”

“I know, sir, but that bathroom in there is just so nice,” she says. “I mean, I guess the bathroom in the locker room isn’t so bad – I guess I really should have used that,” she acknowledges, “But I really like to have more privacy when I gotta do you know what, sir.” “And this time I had to do you know what really, really bad,” she adds. “Please, sir! – I just didn’t want to go in my pants,” she reiterates, “I know I’m going into high school now and that means that I’m really too old to be doing that.” “And that bathroom in the coaches’ office just looked so nice,” she continues, “I had to go so bad and that bathroom was just sitting there waiting to be used.” “It was all so nice and private,” she adds, “I could go in there and be by myself and just do my business in privacy.”

But Coach Musso explains, of course, that she could have had privacy in the girls’ locker room toilets, as well. “That’s why I let you go back after break to go use the bathroom,” she reminds the girl, “That gave you all the chance in the world to be alone in there to do your business.” Kristen responds that she understands but it’s just not the same as using the other bathroom. “That bathroom was just so nice,” the teary-eyed freshman says again, “It’s a toilet and everything all behind a fully lockable door.” “I know the girls’ room stalls are kind of private,” she acknowledges, “But it’s just not the same thing.” “I tried to use the girls’ room in the locker room – I really wanted to,” she claims, now rambling a bit, “But when I saw that other bathroom there, I just couldn’t resist.” “Please, sir – I really didn’t mean any harm by using it, sir,” she reiterates, “I was just trying to do my business in the toilet instead of going in my pants.”

“O.K., but you did do some harm,” Coach Musso then pipes in, “For one thing you left me without any toilet paper in there.” The sexy Cheerleading Coach reiterates that she had done a major bowel movement in there and was left without anything to wipe herself with. “I had to waddle out of there with my sweatpants still down,” she admonishes the girl, “And I had to grab some notebook paper from my desk to wipe with.” Kristen, still in tears, apologizes to Coach Musso for that. Still, as far as I’m concerned, that’s as much Coach Musso’s fault as it is Kristen’s fault. I mean, Coach Musso really should have known better than to sit down without checking the toilet paper first – especially in that she knew it was going to be for a bowel movement. It’s yet another example of the irresponsible toilet habits of our sexy, spandex-clad Cheerleading Coach.

Moving on to Kristen’s punishment, she’ll have to write, “I will not use faculty/staff lavatories in school again” 500 times and serve a week of detention sitting on the toilet. “I’m sorry, Kristen, but as I said, this is no minor offense,” I tell her sympathetically, “We certainly cannot allow students to be using lavatories that are reserved for faculty and staff.” I further stipulate that her toilet sitting detention be served sitting on a toilet in the girls’ locker room bathroom – that bathroom being the one she should have used in the first place. I can see that she’s not happy about that, but obviously she needs to be taught a lesson. She could have avoided all this had she simply used one of those toilets when she had the chance.

I also warn her that the punishment she’s getting now will be a picnic compared to what she’ll face if she’s caught using a faculty bathroom again. “Committing a second offense will likely get you placed on toilet suspension,” I warn her, “And a toilet suspension means you won’t be using ANY school bathrooms at all.” Kristen obviously does not want that. I hope that gives her something to think about.

That was to be our last matter concerning our cheerleading squad, but before moving on, Mrs. Crabtree – a member of the TVPC – raises an issue. It seems to concern Coach Musso, our sexy, perennially spandex-clad Cheerleading Coach. As faithful readers of the TVPC surely know, Coach Musso has had some toileting issues of her own in the past. Most notably she’s had accident issues due to less than desirable bathroom facilities at other schools while serving as our Cheerleading Coach. And while the TVPC rules don’t normally apply to faculty members, Coach Musso is considered a special case. Obviously, we couldn’t allow our Cheerleading Coach to soil her panties and commit other toilet violations while enforce those same rules on her cheerleaders. Accordingly, in order to remain as our Cheerleading Coach, Coach Musso had to agree to be subject to TVPC rules just as her cheerleaders are. And because of her past accidents and other issues, the TVPC has imposed some special toilet rules on her at school.

“Just to confirm your prior testimony, you testified that Kristen had used the last of the toilet paper in the faculty bathroom in the coaches’ office?” Mrs. Crabtree asks the coach, “And you discovered this while using that same toilet yourself?” Coach Musso, seeming a bit confused by the inquiry, confirms her testimony. “So obviously then, you used the Coaches’ Office bathroom?” Mrs. Crabtree continues, “Apparently you used it for a bowel movement?” “Yes, ma’am,” Coach Musso confirms, again a bit puzzled as to why she’s asking.

Moving on, Mrs. Crabtree then reminds us of Coach Musso’s special toileting conditions. “Am I to understand, Mr. Chairman, that her same toilet conditions in effect for last year are in effect for this year, as well?” our ever vigilant committeewoman asks me, “Am I to understand that Coach Musso is entitled to one bowel movement in a faculty bathroom for every one that she does in a student bathroom?” Glancing over at Grace, I see a noticeable look of dread as I note for the record that her same special toileting conditions are indeed still in effect. “Yes, she may urinate once each day in a faculty bathroom while any additional urinations must be done in a student girls’ room,” I note, “And she earns one bowel movement in a faculty bathroom for every one that she does in a student girls’ room.”

As I remind everyone of all that, it suddenly becomes clear where Mrs. Crabtree is going with this. I then ask Coach Musso if she had done any prior bowel movements at school this summer. Grace then reluctantly admits that she had done a prior one – that one also done in the Coaches’ Office bathroom. Cutting to the crux of the matter, we see that Grace did have one faculty bathroom use carried over from last year. That is, she was entitled to one faculty bathroom bowel movement that she had earned last year carried over to this year. “Well Grace, that takes care of the prior bowel movement you had in school this summer,” Mrs. Crabtree points out, “But what about the second one?” Grace has no answer for the committeewoman. But I put the question more directly. “You violated your toileting conditions didn’t you, Grace?” I ask her sternly, “You had your bowel movement in the Coaches’ Office bathroom even though you hadn’t done one in a student girls’ room?” “You did it in a faculty bathroom even though you hadn’t earned it?” I ask the sexy Cheerleading Coach. Reluctantly, Coach Musso admits that she did.

Immediately, she starts pleading for leniency. “Please, sir,” she pleads, “It was just one time.” “Please, Mr. Chairman,” she pleads some more. “Can’t you just give me a break on this one?” she asks, “Can’t you just give me a break this one time?” Quickly, she offers to “make up” the disallowed faculty toilet visit. Her plea is simply that she be allowed to do her next bowel movement in student girls’ room and then be back on schedule. But not only I, but the whole TVPC just looks at her sternly. “You did your bowel movement in a faculty bathroom that you weren’t entitled to use,” I lecture Coach Musso, “We don’t accept that from our students and we’re certainly not going to accept that from you, either.” She pleads again for us to just give her a break. But those pleas basically fall on deaf ears. “We were giving you a break by letting you use faculty bathrooms at all,” Mrs. Krabappel – another TVPC member – chimes in, “We were giving you a break by allowing you to earn faculty bathroom use by successfully using the student facilities.” “And now you want us to give you another break after you violated the first beak we gave you,” she tells Coach Musso, “I think this certainly warrants you going back to using student girls’ rooms full-time.” “I think this warrants her not being allowed to use ANY school bathrooms at all, “then chimes in Mrs. Adler – another TVPC member. “Let her do some time without any toilet privileges in school at all,” she suggests, “And then maybe she’ll think twice about abusing her toileting conditions again.”

Coach Musso, not surprisingly, reacts in horror at the suggestion of that. “Oh please not that!” she begs, “Please not a toilet suspension!” “Please, I’ll do anything!” she begs further. “Please don’t put me on toilet suspension,” she implores us passionately, “Please! – I just couldn’t deal with being on toilet suspension.” “Well, obviously then you should have thought about that before you violated your toileting conditions,” I lecture her, “You should have learned to appreciate the break the TVPC was giving you in allowing you to use the faculty bathrooms at all.”

“Please, sir – I just needed to use the toilet,” Coach Musso then pleads some more, “I just wanted to take care of my business with some privacy.” “Please sir – It wasn’t like I went in my pants again or something like that,” she points out, “I just used the toilet – That’s all I did.” The coach then explains that it was during a break in practice that day and she needed to go. But apparently many of her girls had to go as well and pretty much the whole squad was in the girls’ locker room hanging around by the toilets. “I just didn’t want to do #2 with everyone else around,” the coach explains, “I mean, I just didn’t want to do that with practically my whole cheerleading squad right there in the bathroom with me.” “So I just went into the Coaches’ Office bathroom and did it there,” she explains further, “I just wanted to have more privacy for going #2.” “It’s not like I went in my pants or anything – I haven’t gone in my pants all summer,” she adds.
But once again, neither I nor anyone else on the TVPC is about to be swayed by her pleas. “What would have happened had you had to go at a football game?” I ask her, “What would have happened had you had to go #2 then and didn’t have your nice little bathroom in the coaches’ office to retreat to?” “What would you do then when your only option was to do it in the regular bathroom with a whole bunch of your cheerleaders present?” I ask. To that, Coach Musso assures me that she would indeed use the toilet under those conditions, but I’m not so sure. “Well, it’s not like you haven’t had accidents like that before,” I remind her, “That’s why we’ve been having you use the student girls’ rooms in the first place – It’s so you can be prepared to use the regular facilities at games when you need to.

Moving on to Coach Musso’s punishment, leniency is clearly not in order here. Still, Mrs. Adler’s suggestion of a toilet suspension is a bit extreme. I have something else in mind instead. “You’ll do the next TWENTY bowel movements that you do in school in the student girls’ room,” I tell her and note for the record, “And you’ll do all of those in the toilets in the girls’ locker room.” “And of those 20, you’ll do TEN of them in the doorless stall that is there,” I further stipulate, “And it’ll be only after you complete that, that you’ll go back on your regular schedule of one in a faculty bathroom for every one that you do in a student girls’ room.” Coach Musso lets out an audible groan at hearing that – especially the part about using the doorless stall. She begs for a reprieve – to at least be allowed to do all 20 in stalls with doors on them. “Please at least let me do that, Mr. Chairman,” she pleads, “It’s just so embarrassing to have to go like that where everyone can see me.” “Please sir, please don’t make me go #2 like that,” she implores me. But I, of course, remain firm.

“You’ve done this to yourself, Grace,” I point out matter-of-factly, “You went in the faculty bathroom when you knew you weren’t allowed to.” “You obviously have no one but yourself to blame for this,” I tell her. I also note that she’ll be prohibited from even urinating in the faculty bathrooms until she completes these requirements in the student facilities. “And you’re also going to have a hefty writing assignment to help you remember next time,” I tell her further, “You’ll be writing, ‘I will not do bowel movements in faculty bathrooms unless I’ve earned the privilege to do so’ 1,000 times.” Coach Musso lets out an audible groan again – this time complaining about the length of that sentence. This annoys me. “Another complaint and you’ll be writing those 1,000 times on the blackboard,” I warn her. Not surprisingly, Grace has nothing more to say. While writing those sentences on paper will certainly be no picnic, writing 1,000 times on the blackboard would certainly be a whole lot worse.

One of the exciting new activities at our school this year is the formation of a school Dance Team. They’ll be coached by Mrs. Duncan – a Music and Theater Teacher at our school and a great friend and supporter of the TVPC. I’m sure she’ll do well in this job – not only with coaching the dancers but with keeping the girls in line with their toilet habits. In fact, she’s already got 3 items on the TVPC agenda this afternoon – 2 toilet violation cases and one other matter that I’m more than a little confused about. It seems that the Dance Team has already had a performance – specifically, performing at the middle school orientation a few days ago – and these matters apparently spring from that.

The first case is Kerri, a pretty sophomore brunette with glasses. She is charged with “Improperly Squatting Over the Toilet Seat” and “Urinating On the Toilet Seat.” These are actually considered two separate offenses under the TVPC rules with the latter, obviously, being the more serious one. Still, we typically don’t punish a girl for both. That is, if she urinates on the toilet seat – assuming she didn’t do it on purpose – we usually only punish her for that and we consider the “Improper Squatting” to be a kind of lesser included offense. Checking with Mrs. Duncan there is no accusation of purposely urinating on the toilet seat in this case.

Calling Kerri to the podium, the friendly, likeable sophomore denies that she urinated on the toilet seat at all. “I did squat instead of sit,” she acknowledges, “That toilet seat was utterly disgusting.” “But I did get it all in the toilet, I swear,” she claims, “I was really careful and I didn’t get ANY on the toilet seat.” “Trust me, I know how to squat over a toilet to pee,” she says. “I mean, I usually do sit all the way down when I pee here at school,” she explains, “But I do know how to squat and go that way when I need to. Kerri then explains that the toilet was already wet when she got there. “There was pee all over the toilet seat before I even started,” she says, “It was totally dripping with pee and there was some on the floor as well.” She tells us that’s why she decided to squat rather than sit. “That toilet seat was disgusting – completely disgusting,” she says again. “I wouldn’t be surprised if someone had peed all over the seat on purpose,” she says, shaking her head, “But what do you expect with it being a boys’ room and all.” “Boys can be disgusting like that,” she adds – an exaggerated look of disgust on her face, “I don’t think a girl could get that much pee all over the seat, the toilet, and the floor even if she tried.”

Her last comment raises a few eyebrows on the TVPC and in the committee room. “The BOYS’ room?” I ask, “This happened in the BOYS’ room?” Kerri then looks at me puzzled – Kind of like she’s surprised that we’re all surprised to hear that she was using the boys’ room. She looks over at Mrs. Duncan, as do I. “She was using the boys’ room?” I ask our new Dance Coach, as I motion for her to step up.

“Yes, sir – Yes, Mr. Chairman,” she tells me, “My girls and I all had to use one of the boys’ rooms over at the middle school that day.” The pretty and outgoing Mrs. Duncan goes on to explain that they had been doing a major renovation of all the school bathrooms at the middle school this summer. She explains further that they apparently had construction delays and all the girls’ rooms were still under renovation. “I don’t know why but they apparently had decided to do all the boys’ rooms first,” the pretty blonde Dance Coach tells us, “That left them with the boys’ rooms all done and all the girls’ rooms still under construction.” “So for the orientation that day, they just designated one of the boys’ rooms for use as a girls’ room,” she explains. “It really wasn’t a big deal, Mr. Chairman – It really wasn’t a big deal at all,” she claims, “I even used it myself that day.”

Delving back into the case, I then ask Kerri to explain specifically what she did in the boys’ room that day. “Well, I had to go and I went into the girls’ – err, boys’ – room to do it,” she tells us, “They had 3 stalls in there and I just went into the first one.” “As I said before, I usually sit all the way down on the toilet seat, but this time I saw that the toilet seat was dripping wet,” she explains, “So I just pulled down my skirt and underwear and squatted over it instead.” “I guess maybe I should have gone into another stall where maybe the toilet seat was clean,” the sophomore beauty speculates, “But I just didn’t think of that at the time – I just didn’t think that popping a squat was a big deal.” “But really, sir – the seat was already wet when I got there,” Kerri pleads, “I swear, I didn’t pee on the toilet at all.” “And?” I then ask. “Well, then I just wiped myself, pulled up my skirt and panties, and flushed the toilet,” she says, “And then I went and washed my hands and left.”

I must say that she makes a pretty convincing case for herself – at least on the “Urinating On the Toilet Seat” charge. Even her coach is now questioning whether she did that or not. “Well, I guess it really could have happened that way,” Mrs. Duncan acknowledges, “I guess I may have jumped the gun a bit in charging her with that.” “I saw that someone had wet all the toilet seat – it was really bad just as Kerri had said,” the pretty and kind-hearted Dance Coach explains, “And when I investigated further, I found out that she was the last girl to use that particular stall.” “Since she was the last one to use that particular stall, I just assumed she was the one who did it,” The Dance Coach explains further, “And when I found out she had squatted while leaving the toilet seat down, that was the kicker.” “I guess I just assumed that if she had seen the toilet seat that wet and icky beforehand, she would have just gone and used a different stall,” she adds. Looking over at Kerri, I see the girl nodding her head. “Yeah – I guess I should have done that,” she says with a smile, “Next time I will.”

Moving on, the TVPC then finds Kerri “Not Guilty” of “Urinating On the Toilet Seat.” I note that for the record and see the pretty sophomore brunette smiling about that. But Kerri is not completely out of the words in this matter. There is still the matter of her “improperly Squatting Over the Toilet Seat” and we do find her “Guilty” on that one. “I’m afraid the evidence is clear, young lady,” I tell her, “You failed to lift up the toilet seat when you squatted to urinate.” Kerri respectfully argues that ruling – Pointing out again that even though she squatted, she got it all in the toilet. But I’m afraid the TVPC rules on this are clear and I tell her so. “The rules do allow you to squat to urinate or defecate,” I tell her, “But they also require that if you do, you lift up the toilet seat first.”
She starts to argue some more, but I put up my hand to stop her. “It’s not a serious offense,” I remind her. For punishment, she must write a 500 word essay on the proper way to squat over the toilet and serve an hour of detention.

**Arnold Ziffel** · September 10, 2021, 05:43 AM

Moving on to our second case involving our Dance Team, I must call the name of Lisa, an outgoing senior blonde. Mrs. Crabtree, Mrs. Krabappel and Mrs. Adler – all members of the TVPC groan when they hear that name. And when I read the Violation Report filed by Mrs. Duncan in this case, I can only shake my head. Though this is only Lisa’s first TVPC appearance of the school year, we’ve been through this very same thing with her in the past.

“Again, Lisa?” I ask this quite bright but very mischievous senior. “I’m afraid so, sir,” she tells me contritely. I note that she is once again charged with “Enticement to Commit a Toilet Violation.” As noted, it’s something she’s been punished for before. And though the TVPC is not supposed to consider toilet violations from prior years in determining a girl’s punishment – It’s supposed to be a fresh start of sorts for the girl each year – It’s going to be really hard to stick to that in this case. “Again, Lisa?” I ask again, again shaking my head at the bright and creative senior beauty who really should have known better. “You’ve been punished for this before,” I remind her, “Don’t you ever learn your lesson, young lady.” “I don’t know, sir – It just kind of happened,” she tells me.

This time it’s Mrs. Duncan who lets out an audible groan. “Oh! Please!!” she tells the girl. Obviously, she finds Lisa’s explanation hard to believe. Checking with our quite pretty and always enthusiastic Dance Coach, we find that she’s accusing the senior beauty of offering another girl $20 to urinate in one of the boys’ room urinals. It apparently happened at the middle school where the Dance Team was performing during the orientation program there.

I was in one of the stalls there using the toilet myself,” Mrs. Duncan reports, “And as I was going about my business, I heard Lisa come in.” “She was her typical loud self,” Mrs. Duncan remembers, “No matter how much I was focused on what I was doing in the stall, it was impossible not to recognize that voice.” “Next, I heard her and another girl talking a bit,” she continues, “It was then that I realized the other girl was a sophomore named Debbie.” “And it was then that Lisa offered Debbie $20 to pee in one of the boys’ room urinals,” she reports. “I heard it plain as day from inside my stall,” Mrs. Duncan tells us, as she turns to glare at Lisa in anger. The angry tone is more than a little uncharacteristic for the perennially quite cheerful and usually kind-hearted Dance Coach. Lisa just stands there quietly – also quite uncharacteristic of her.

Mrs. Duncan, though, seems to have more to say. Before I can even get a word in edgewise, she’s further admonishing the quirky senior beauty. “Why do you have to create such drama over something as simple as going to the bathroom?” she asks her rhetorically, “Why do you think that others going to the bathroom is supposed to be some sort of game for your amusement?” “I just don’t get why you seem to think it’s so funny to get other girls to do stupid bathroom stuff like peeing in urinals,” she yells at the girl. “How many times do you have to get punished for stuff like this before you learn your lesson?” she asks her. Lisa tries to tell us that she has indeed learned her lesson from past experiences – repeating her prior explanation that this “just happened” – but neither I nor Mrs. Duncan or any members of the TVPC is buying it.

A quick check of TVPC records reveals that not only was she punished twice last year for incidents of this sort but one of them appears to also be for trying to pay a girl to use a boys’ room urinal. In that instance, she offered a girl in her study hall $25 to do it. Apparently, the girl had asked the teacher for a girls’ room pass and as the girl was getting the pass, Lisa offered her the money to go to the boys’ room instead and use one of the urinals. The other incident – her second incident last year – was offering a girl who needed to have a bowel movement $50 to just do it in her pants instead. Fortunately, neither took her up on the offer. “I really would have thought a girl as smart as you would have learned her lesson if not from the first time but at least for the second time we punished you for that,” I admonish her.

But Lisa still insists that she has indeed learned her lesson. “I did sir – I learned my lesson – I really did,” she tells me. “I had to write 1,000 lines for the second one,” she reminds me, “And you made me spend two whole weeks in detention.” “It took me forever to write all those lines,” she says, “And my hand hurt for like weeks afterwards.” “And that detention was just sooooo boring!” she complains. “I mean I guess it wasn’t so bad as having to sit and write the same sentence over and over again but it was still soooo boring!” she adds. “Believe me, sir – I really did learn my lesson,” she assures me – at least seeming sincere, “I never want to write lines like that again.”

But that, of course, begs the question. If she had indeed learned her lesson from last time, why did she again offer a girl money to do her business in a urinal instead of the toilet? Naturally, I ask her about that. “Do you have some sort of fascination with urinals,” I ask her.

Lisa, though, tells me once again that it was something that “just happened.” “It just happened, sir – It really just happened,” she claims, “Honestly, sir – It wasn’t like something I had planned or anything – It was just something that happened.” “It was after the performance and Debbie and I had to pee, sir,” Lisa goes on to explain, “And the two of us went to the girls’ room – err, I mean boys’ room – to do it.” “I mean, we all had to use that one boy’s room because all the girls’ rooms were under construction or something,” she clarifies. “But the thing is they had mostly urinals in the boys’ room,” she reports. “There were like 10 urinals in there and only 3 stalls,” the senior beauty continues, “And when Debbie and I went in there, all 3 stalls were in use.” “It all just kind of happened while Debbie and I were waiting for a stall to open up, sir,” she tells me. “She was telling me that she had to pee really bad,” Lisa explains, “And I just pointed to a urinal and joked that she should go in there.” “Really, sir – We were just joking around,” she argues, “And Debbie was laughing and joking about it, too.” “And then I blurted it out, sir,” Lisa claims, shaking her head, “I was just joking and I told her that I’d pay her if she went in the urinal.” “Really, sir – I didn’t mean anything by it,” she pleads in desperation, “I was just kidding and I just blurted it out.”

Debbie, an athletic sophomore blonde, is here as a witness in this case and she backs up her friend’s story. “We were just being silly, sir,” she tells me, “I mean, I guess she shouldn’t have said it, but I really didn’t think she was being serous about it.” Checking with Debbie, the sophomore beauty confirms that she didn’t actually take Lisa up on the offer to use the urinal. “I had tried that a few times when I was younger,” Debbie tells us, with a smile, “I have a twin brother and he was always challenging me.” “After a few times peeing in my pants and peeing all over the floor, I learned my lesson,” she tells us, laughing, “I learned to accept being a girl and having to pee in the toilet instead.”

As the TVPC hears and considers this case, something isn’t sitting right with me. I take a moment to consult the TVPC rulebook. What I find is interesting, to say the least. The thing is that what Lisa did in this case is not actually a toilet violation. “It’s not actually a violation of TVPC rules for a girl to pay or offer to pay another for doing her bathroom functions,” I point out, “It’s only a violation if she pays or offers to pay a girl to do a bathroom function in a way that violates TVPC rules.” In reviewing Lisa’s prior cases on enticement, I explain that it’s a rule that girls are not allowed to go in their pants. So offering to pay a girl to go in her pants is a violation of TVPC rules. Pausing a moment to let that sink in, I then get to the crux of the matter.

“But it’s not actually a violation of TVPC rules for a girl to urinate in a urinal,” I then point out, “There’s nothing in the rulebook that prevents a girl from using one if she wants to.” I point out further than Lisa’s prior incident with offering a girl in study hall money to use a urinal was only a violation because it required the girl to sneak into the boys’ room to do it. “Because girls are normally not allowed to use the boys’ room, it was a violation for Lisa to entice another girl to sneak into one in order to use a urinal there,” I explain, “But it wasn’t actually a violation specifically for using a urinal.” “But in this case, the girls were indeed allowed to use the boys’ room,” I continue, “And that entitles the girls to use all the facilities that were in there – the urinals as well as the regular toilets.”

My argument leaves a lot of people puzzled – not the least of them is Mrs. Duncan. She’s apparently still trying to wrap her head around the idea of girls using urinals. “Urinals are for boys not for girls,” she argues simply. “Urinals are for urinating,” I then tell her, “As long as a girl only uses it for urinating, she is well within the rules.” “And since it’s not a toilet violation for a girl to use a urinal, it’s not a toilet violation to offer a girl money to use one.” The pretty and well-liked Dance Coach is still trying to wrap her head around that one.

Mrs. Adler argues that if we let girls try to use urinals we’re bound to have girls not only wetting their pants but wetting on the floor as well. “I don’t know about other girls, but I certainly can’t aim it,” Mrs. Adler adds. “Well, if a girl does that, she certainly can be punished for doing that,” I point out, “A girl using a urinal certainly doesn’t have immunity if the commits other toilet violations in the process.” “If a girl does decide to use a urinal, she is certainly required to use it properly,” I explain, “If she ends up wetting her pants in the process or wetting outside the urinal, she most certainly can be held accountable for that.” “Urinals are for urinating,” I reiterate, “And nothing in the rulebook limits that to boys.

After careful consideration – the rules being what they are – Lisa is found “Not Guilty” of the charge. Obviously, she is quite happy about that and beams a broad smile. “Don’t get any ideas, young lady,” I then caution her. “You should consider yourself quite lucky this time,” I tell her, “But if you’re not careful, this strange little habit of yours is bound to get you into trouble again.”

Before moving on from matters concerning our Dance Team, we have one more item on our agenda. It’s not actually a toilet violation case – at least not yet – as no one has filed a formal Violation Report in the matter. But two of our teachers – Miss Mars and Miss Johnson – have called for a TVPC investigation. In doing so, I have ordered that Brianna, a tall and pretty senior and member of our Dance Team be brought before the TVPC. Brianna is here as ordered and she certainly does not look happy. She apparently does know what this matter is about as does her Dance Coach Mrs. Duncan. TVPC member Mrs. Adler seems to know, as well. As we delve into the case, I first ask that someone tell me. “What is this about?” I ask.

“It’s really more a matter of showing you than telling you, Mr. Chairman,” Miss Mars tells me, “We believe that Brianna has committed a toilet violation but, for some reason, she has not been charged with one.” “She actually committed two toilet violations, Mr. Chairman,” Miss Johnson then chimes in, “She not only did a panty-soiling but she then referred to it using profanity.” As faithful readers of the TVPC surely know, girls are prohibited from using profanity to refer to their bodily functions. “But when I checked, I found out that Mrs. Duncan had not filed any charges at all against her,” Miss Johnson explains, “And I just don’t understand why as this is clearly a matter concerning the Dance Team.” “I guess I COULD file the charges myself,” she says, “But I really think it would be up to Amy – I mean, Mrs. Duncan – to do so.” “At first I thought that maybe she hadn’t seen what Brianna did,” Miss Johnson tells us, “But when I showed her the video of the incident, she didn’t seem to think it was worth filing a Violation Report about.”

Turning now to Mrs. Duncan, I, of course, ask her about that. “I must say that I’m a bit confused,” I tell her. But the pretty and perennially enthusiastic Dance Coach explains that she doesn’t think it’s a matter for the TVPC. “Look, I saw the video, too,” she tells Miss Mars and Miss Johnson, “But I just don’t think it’s a matter for the TVPC.” Miss Mars and Miss Johnson both react in surprise at hearing that, as does Mrs. Adler. “We have it all on video, Amy,” Miss Mars tells her as Miss Johnson and Mrs. Adler both nod their head in agreement. As I’m just learning, this whole thing with Brianna, was apparently caught on some sort of doorbell camera. “We have the whole thing right here, Mr. Chairman,” Miss Mars informs me, “Just say the word and we can play the whole thing for the committee.” I, of course, say the word.

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMe3k8H3Q

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZ2b_Nn1zZE

I must say that the video presents very clear evidence on both counts – that is, clear evidence of Brianna messing in her panties and clear evidence of her using the word “shit” to refer to her doing it. Looking over at her, I see the tall senior beauty hanging her head in shame. First thanking the teachers for bringing us this video, I then address Brianna directly. “I must say that that video made quite an impression on us all,” I tell the girl, “That is indeed quite damning evidence.” “I’m quite surprised at you, young lady,” I tell her, “I’m quite surprised at seeing you mess in your panties like that.” “I’m actually not sure I’d have believed it had I not actually seen it on video,” I lecture the girl, “I suppose anyone can have an accident, but it’s just not something I’d have expected to see from you.” Looking up at me – trying to shake the shame of it all – she agrees that it’s not something she usually does. “I haven’t gone in my pants since I don’t know when,” she tells me, “Not since I was a little girl.” “I mean, there was that one time when I wet myself a little when I was a freshman,” she then says, “But that was only because the teacher wouldn’t let me go to the girls’ room.” “And that was a lot different than this,” she points out, “This was way, way worse than just wetting my pants.”

Mrs. Adler is decidedly less sympathetic about this apparently being the girl’s first panty-soiling in a long time. “I don’t care how long it’s been – That’s no excuse,” she tells Brianna, “Do you really think that excuses what you did.” “You’re a senior in high school, for pete’s sake,” Mrs. Adler yells at her, “And here you are messing in your panties right here on camera.” “Shame! Shame on You!!” she admonishes the senior beauty further, “How can you just go in your panties like that.” “And in your dance uniform, too boot,” she points out, “You really should be ashamed of yourself.” “Disgusting!” she adds, “That’s just disgusting!”

The committeewoman’s harsh words reduce Brianna to tears. “I AM ashamed,” she mutters through her tears. “I really am ashamed of myself,” she says, “I’d give anything if I could back in time and undo what I did.” “And I know it’s disgusting, ma’am – Believe me, I know how disgusting it was,” she tells Mrs. Adler, “Unless you’ve had it happen to you, you can’t even begin to imagine how disgusting it is to have that mess in your panties.” “And I didn’t mean it as an excuse, ma’am – I know it was my own fault,” she further addresses the committeewoman, “I’m just saying that this isn’t something I do all the time.” “If I could go back and do it over, I definitely would have used the toilet at the middle school when I had the chance,” she says, “But I know I can’t – I can’t just go back.” “You don’t know how much I wish I would have just done it in the toilet there before I left,” she says, as more tears flow, “But I didn’t – I just didn’t.” “I had an accident – It just happened,” she adds in tears, “I’m sorry but I just had an accident.”

“Well, maybe so but what you did is still quite shameful,” Mrs. Duncan then chimes in, “Mrs. Adler is right – You really should be ashamed of yourself.” “I mean, I do understand that it may have been your first accident in a long time,” she admonishes the girl – albeit a little more sympathetically. “But especially doing it in your dance uniform like that,” she lectures Brianna, “There really is no excuse for that.” “I certainly do expect the girls on my Dance Team to be a whole lot more careful with their bodily functions while in uniform,” she adds.

Brianna then explains to her Dance Coach that she really thought she could hold it in until she got home. “I really thought I could wait,” she says, “I just never thought I’d have a problem waiting until I got home.” “And I almost did make it,” she points out. “If I hadn’t fuddled with my key like I did, I actually would have made it,” she claims, “If not for that, I actually would have made it to the toilet.” “But you didn’t make it to the toilet, young lady, did you?” Mrs. Duncan asks her, “You didn’t make it to the toilet in time and you made a mess in your panties instead, didn’t you?” The thoroughly ashamed senior beauty just nods her head in acknowledgement of that.

“The thing is that you shouldn’t have been trying to make it,” the pretty Dance Coach admonishes the senior beauty, “You shouldn’t have been trying to hold it in until you got home in the first place.” “You should have just used the bathroom at the middle school when you had the chance,” she lectures Brianna, “None of this would have happened if you had just done it in the toilet there like you were supposed to.” Once again, I see the girl nodding her head in acknowledgement. “I really wish I had – I really wish had gone when I had the chance,” she tells her coach, “You just don’t know how much I wish I could just go back in time and use the toilet and prevent all this from happening.”

Continuing, Brianna tells us that she didn’t want to use the boys’ room at the middle school. “I really wish now that I had gone when I had the chance,” she reiterates, “But at the time I really didn’t think it was a big deal.” Coach Duncan, to say the least, is a bit surprised at the comment. No doubt she would have expected better from a senior like her. “You’re a senior now, Brianna – You really should have known better,” she lectures the girl, “You obviously needed to do a bowel movement and you really should have known better than to try to hold it in like you did.” “Who cares if the bathroom there was a boys’ room,” Coach Duncan continues, raising her voice a bit, “What difference does that make.” “It wasn’t like there were going to be boys in there using it, too,” she points out, “I really don’t see how it was any different than using a girls’ room someplace.” “I mean, a toilet is a toilet,” Coach Duncan tells her, “What difference does it make whether that toilet was in a boys’ room or a girls’ room?” “It wasn’t like they didn’t have toilets with stalls for you girls to use,” she adds.

But Brianna tells her coach that it really wasn’t like that. “Yeah – I know the stalls aren’t any different – a toilet is a toilet as you say,” the pretty, well-spoken senior tells Coach Duncan. “But that boys’ room was mostly urinals,” she explains, “They only had 3 stalls in there total.” “Every time I went in there, there was a line for the stalls,” Brianna explains further, “With all the girls there using only 3 stalls, there was always a line.” “I didn’t mean to mess in my panties – I really didn’t,” she tells her coach. “I really wish now that I’d have just waited in line and used one of the stalls when I had the chance,” she says, bowing her head in shame. “Obviously!” Coach Duncan tells her, just shaking her head.

Brianna goes on to explain how disgusting it was having to clean up the mess in the bathroom at home. She explains that the mess was not only in her panties but some of it got smeared on her behind, as well. “And a whole lot of it was stuck in the crack of my behind,” she says, “It was really was a disgusting mess.” “And it wasn’t like I could just take a shower or something,” she explains, with quite the disgusted look on her face, “That would have gotten the mess all over the shower.” “I had to actually wipe the mess off myself,” she explains further, “That was so disgusting I almost threw up.” “Obviously, it would have been way easier had I just done it in the toilet at the middle school,” she adds. “Obviously!” Coach Duncan says again, again shaking her head.

But getting back to the heart of the matter, this case presents a dilemma for the TVPC. There is no question that Brianna not only soiled her panties but that she used profanity to refer to it. Obviously, she deserves to be punished and I tell her so. But there is a question of jurisdiction for the TVPC. Questioning Brianna further, the senior beauty confirms that this all happened on her parents’ front porch. She claims that her panties were perfectly clean and dry as she drove off school grounds at the middle school. And none of Brianna’s accusers have any evidence to suggest otherwise. “I’m sorry but this obviously happened off school grounds,” I tell everyone and note for the record, “And unfortunately that means that the TVPC has no jurisdiction in the matter.” “Obviously Brianna did it and she deserves to be punished – She deserves to be punished for both things,” I argue – primarily for Brianna to hear, “But having happened off school grounds this is simply not a matter for the TVPC.”

Miss Mars – apparently – has a hard time accepting that. “But she soiled her panties in her dance uniform,” the pretty, blonde-haired gym teacher argues, “That should not only be a matter for the TVPC but it should be a toilet violation while representing the school.” “But it happened on her parents’ porch,” I point out again, “While it’s certainly a shameful and disgusting thing to do – especially while wearing her school dance uniform – she’s clearly not representing the school while she’s fuddling with her keys on her parents’ porch.” “The rules are the rules” I note matter-of-factly, “And deserving as she may be, the TVPC simply can’t punish Brianna for this.”

Not surprisingly, Brianna doesn’t look particularly relieved not to be getting punished for this. I think for her it’s more about her feelings of shame at having done it than anything else. And I have a feeling that sense of shame – especially with it all being caught on camera -- is going to be with her for a long, long, LONG time.

Another major activity at school over the summer has been summer school. It’s not only for those that failed courses over the school year, but we have enrichment classes as well. Since the summer school is as much a part of our school as anything else, the toilet behavior of our female students during the summer school most certainly comes under TVPC jurisdiction. As summer school has been ongoing most of the summer, we’ve already had several Special Sessions of the TVPC to deal with the various toilet violations that occurred. Now that summer school has ended, we have a few last cases to deal with.

The first item from our summer school is a bit of committee business. I’m pleased to see that here in the committee room today is Samantha, a pretty and popular blonde-haired senior. She’s a fairly bright girl – clearly above average in intelligence – but she’s pretty much been an underachiever throughout her high school career. She’s been attending summer school with us this year because she failed Chemistry and Algebra II this past school year. And it’s during that summer school that Samantha got into more than a little troubled with the TVPC.

Today, the tall and pretty blonde is being asked to hand in her punishment writing assignment – specifically, “I will not smoke in the girls’ room in school again” 1,480 times. As she stands before us, I see that she’s holding a manila folder which appears to contain a thick packet of paper. “I trust that you’ve got your assignment completed this time,” I tell her. “Yes, sir,” she tells me, holding up that thick folder. “I finished it this weekend,” she explains, “I was stuck inside practically the whole weekend writing out my lines.” “Can I assume then that you’ve learned your lesson?” I ask her, “Both as to smoking in the girls’ room and as to getting your punishment assignments done on time?” “Yes, sir,” she tells me again, obviously quite contritely. I then ask her to hand the apparently completed punishment assignment to our TVPC clerk.

Samantha, it seems, had to learn her lesson the hard way on both counts. It all started, of course, when she was caught smoking in the girls’ room during summer school. Her punishment for that was having to write, “I will not smoke in the girls’ room in school again” 1,000 times. Additionally, she had to serve a week of detention – a punishment she duly completed. But when the writing assignment was due – one week ago – Samantha had completed only 260 sentences of her assignment. As per TVPC procedures, the 740 sentences that she didn’t complete where promptly doubled thereby making it 1,480 sentences that she owed us now. Those sentences were due today and for her sake, I’m happy to say that she appears to have completed them all. As faithful readers of the TVPC surely know, there are even more serious consequences when a girl fails to complete a punishment assignment by its second due date. Not only is the uncompleted punishment doubled again, of course, but the girl is then placed on toilet suspension until she does complete the punishment.

Checking with our TVPC clerk, he notes that Samantha has indeed completed her punishment this time. He notes that it appears to be complete and in good order. He further notes that the 1,480 sentences fill the front and back of 29 pages and most of a 30^th page. He comments that Samantha’s handwriting got a bit messy towards the end, but it’s still within TVPC standards. “That was the writer’s cramp, sir,” she tells us, “It’s hard to keep the writing neat when you’re writing for hours and hours and hours.”

“Forgive me if I don’t feel sorry for you,” chimes in Mrs. Adler – a member of the TVPC, “As far as I’m concerned you got off easy.” “I’m sure all that writing was no picnic for you,” she says, “But if it were up to me, smoking in the girls’ room should be a toilet suspension even for a first offense.” “I see no reason to wait for a second offense before we give a girl a toilet suspension,” Mrs. Adler argues, “Perhaps if we start giving toilets suspensions for a first offense, we wouldn’t have to deal with so many second offenses.” Under the TVPC rules for smoking in the girls’ room, girls can get 2 weeks on toilet suspension for a first offense but typically only get detention and a hefty writing assignment. For a second offense, though, a toilet suspension is indeed mandatory. “And then you make it worse but not even getting your writing assignment done on time,” Mrs. Adler goes on, now more in the form of a rant, “To me, that’s proof all the more that what you really deserved in the first place was a toilet suspension.”

“It’s not like I wasn’t punished for what I did,” Samantha then respectfully answers the committeewoman, “I mean, I guess I am lucky not to have gotten a toilet suspension, but I did get punished for what I did.” “And then I got punished some more when I didn’t get my punishment done on time,” the pretty underachieving senior continues, “I don’t even know how many times I ended up having to write that stupid sentence.” “Well, whose fault is that?” I then ask her unsympathetically, “Who was the girl who didn’t get her punishment done on time and who was the girl who smoked in the girls’ room in the first place?” I had intended it as a rhetorical question but Samantha answers it anyway. “It was my fault, sir,” she tells me, “Both of those things were my fault.”

“One thousand, seven hundred forty,” Mrs. Adler then chimes back in. We all look at her puzzled. “That’s the number of sentences that you ended up having to write on that 1,000 times assignment,” she tells Samantha, “That’s what happens when you don’t get a punishment writing done on time.” “Good to know,” I then tell the committeewoman.

**Arnold Ziffel** · September 10, 2021, 05:48 AM

Departing from our scheduled TVPC agenda a moment, we have a surprise visit from Mrs. Stevens. I recognize her immediately as the mother of Ashley, a quite pretty but decidedly toilet troubled sophomore. And Ashley is easily recognizable to the TVPC from her numerous toilet violations and appearances before the TVPC last year. In addition to her numerous panty-soiling violations last year, Ashley even spent some time on toilet suspension for twice sneaking into the Nurse’s Office to have bowel movements in the more private, single-user bathroom there. And then she got more time on toilet suspension (in addition to detention and a hefty writing assignment) for using the girls’ room – to urinate – while on toilet suspension. Suffice to say, she had a very rough freshman year toilet-wise. It’s a rare treat for TVPC fans when a parent asks to appear before the TVPC, but it’s rarely a good thing for the girl in question. As I call the two of them to the podium, mom is looking plenty angry and Ashley is already in tears.

As I call on Mrs. Stevens to tell us what this is all about, she takes a moment to just stand there and stare angrily at her daughter. “My daughter never seems to learn, Mr. Chairman,” Mrs. Stevens then tells me, “She’s in high school and she still thinks it’s alright to mess in her underwear.” “MOM!” Ashley reacts in embarrassment at hearing that. She tries to argue that point but mom doesn’t want to hear it. “Well, if you didn’t think it was alright, you wouldn’t be doing it,” she tells her daughter angrily, “For someone who doesn’t think it’s alright, you sure do seem to mess in your pants a lot.” “How many times was it last year, Ashley?” she asks her daughter, raising her voice considerably, “How many times did you soil your underwear in school last year?” “I mean, we won’t even count when you did it at the mall, and at your sister’s soccer game, and on vacation,” mom continues ANGRILY, “I just want to know how many times you did it just at school.” Looking over at Ashley, the teary-eyed sophomore beauty seems very reluctant – even downright terrified – to answer. “HOW MANY TIMES!” her mother then screams at her. “Six,” the girl then mumbles. “HOW MANY TIMES!” her mother then screams again. “Six,” her daughter admits, speaking more clearly this time.

Taking a moment to calm down a bit, Mrs. Stevens then explains that the other day, she overheard her daughter and a friend talking. “They were talking about the upcoming school year, Mr. Chairman,” Mrs. Stevens tells us, “And one of the topics they were talking about was the school bathrooms.” “Her friend had apparently gone in her pants once or twice at the beginning of the school year,” mom continues, “But then, as the school year went on, she started going at school when she needed to.” “She was trying to convince my daughter to do the same, Mr. Chairman,” mom explains further, “She was telling Ashley that pooping at school really isn’t a big deal.” Mrs. Stevens goes on to tell us that in the course of that conversation – apparently when Ashley expressed her reluctance to have bowel movements in the girls’ rooms at school – the friend mentioned that Ashley had gone in her pants six times at school last year. “She told my daughter that she couldn’t keep messing in her pants like she was doing, Mr. Chairman,” mom reports, “She told her that six times in her pants last year was way too much.” She then turns and glares at her daughter some more – no doubt agreeing with her daughter’s friend about that.

At first, I’m a bit puzzled as to why Ashley’s mom is telling us all this. But then I take a quick look at the toilet-troubled sophomore’s prior toilet record. That proves most interesting. “It would seem we have Ashley for only four panty-soiling accidents last year,” I then tell Mrs. Stevens and note for the record. “Yes sir, Mr. Chairman,” she then tells me, “It would seem that my daughter had two additional panty-soilings last year that she somehow managed to get away with.” “She admitted they happened at school but she said the messes weren’t too bad and nobody noticed,” Mrs. Stevens reports, “She said she was wearing a dress on both of those days and that apparently helped to conceal that she had a load in her panties.” “I guess I should have suspected something when she suddenly started wearing dresses to school all time,” she adds, again glaring at her daughter in the process. “I wonder how many more she may have done that not even her friends know about,” she speculates. “That was it,” Ashley then mumbles, obviously quite ashamed. “What?” her mother then asks her. “That was it, mom,” Ashley then repeats, “It was only those six.” “ONLY six,” her mother then responds sarcastically, “Did you even do ANY last year in one of the girls’ room like you were supposed to?” “A few,” the girl then mumbles. “Really? – How many?” her mom then asks – a tone of skepticism in her voice. But Ashley doesn’t get specific. “A few times,” she repeats non-specifically.

The TVPC’s task now is, of course, punishing Ashley for those two panty-soilings that we have yet to punish her for. But first I take a moment to review which accidents she has indeed been punished for previously. I note that her first accident happened in late September in Algebra class. Her second happened in early October in English class. I further note that her third happened right before Thanksgiving in gym class. “That was the one where you wet your pants, too,” I remind Ashley, much to the toilet-troubled sophomore’s embarrassment. And finally her fourth happened in March – another one in Algebra class. “It was a while between those two,” I note, “I thought maybe we were seeing some improvement in your toilet habits in school but I guess not.”

Checking now with Ashley, she tells us that she also had an accident in February – another one that happened in English class – And then finally one that happened in History class in April. She tells us that she made it through school on both of those days without getting caught and then cleaned up herself and her accident when she got home. “Somehow I made it home without getting caught those two days,” she says, “And then I got myself all cleaned up before anyone else got home.” “And did you clean out your underwear, too, or just throw them away?” her mom asks. The pretty but toilet-troubled sophomore assures us that she did indeed – on both occasions – clean out her soiled underwear.

With that information, I then direct the TVPC clerk to draw up two Violation Reports formally charging Ashley with those panty-soiling violations. Since they happened last school year, they are to be adjudicated as part of last year’s business. “We now have two panty-soilings to punish you for,” I tell the girl, “And they will, of course, be considered part of your toilet record from last year and they will be punished as such.” That, obviously, is not good news for Ashley. “A 5^th panty-soiling offense is no small matter,” I explain, “And a 6^th one is even worse.”

I first sentence Ashley to write, “I will not soil my panties in school again” 1,000 times. “That’s for your first accident,” I then tell her and note for the record. “And for your second one, you’ll write that same sentence 2,000 times,” I also tell her and again note for the record. I give that one a moment to sink in. And when it does sink in the poor girl breaks down crying even worse. She begs me to reconsider. She can’t believe that she’s being sentenced to 2,000 times just for soiling her panties. “I mean, I know it’s my 6^th one,” she acknowledges, “But 2,000 times, sir? “ “Please sir! – Not TWO thousand times!” she argues, “I’ve never heard of a girl getting that just for having an accident.” But I point out that a 6^th accident almost always results in a girl having to clean the mess in the girls’ room here at school. “Obviously, it’s too late to make that part of your punishment now,” I tell her, “So I’m going to have you do 1,000 extra lines of punishment writing instead.” Ashley starts to argue that she did clean up the mess – both messes, in fact -- and cleaned up herself at home after they happened. But she’s obviously comparing apples to oranges. Doing that in the privacy of her own bathroom at home is obviously not the same thing as doing an accident clean up in the girls’ room here at school. “That’s a picnic compared to having to clean it all up here at school,” I tell her. She also gets an entire month of detention sitting on the toilet. “We’ll make that half a month of toilet sitting detention for each one,” I note, “And you’ll be doing the sitting in the Main Corridor Girls’ Room.” That punishment will, of course, commence when school starts in September. “And for the first 3 months of the school year – Before you leave school each day – You will be subject to a panty inspection,” I add, “They’ll be no more getting away with it for you -- If you soil your panties in school you will be caught.” “For the first month, of course, you’ll be sitting on the toilet in detention so you’ll have your panties inspected there,” I explain, “But after that – for the next two months – you’ll report to the TVPC office before you leave school and you’ll have your panties inspected there.” “It will be your responsibility to get your panties inspected before you go home each day,” I warn her, “And you’ll face dire consequences indeed if you miss a day.”

Moving on to another matter from our summer school program, I call Melinda, a shy and quiet sophomore with braces. She is in summer school having failed Algebra during the school year. Miss Spellman – her young and quite pretty Algebra Teacher is here as well. She has charged the girl not only with soiling her panties but messing on the toilet seat as well.

Melinda pleads “Guilty” on both counts but insists that neither of them were on purpose. “It was an accident – they both were accidents, sir,” she tells me – already fighting back tears. Soiling your panties on purpose is, of course, a more serious offense than merely having an accident. A girl soiling her panties on purpose, for example, would be ineligible to receive only a warning for her first panty-soiling offense. And purposely messing on the toilet seat would be a most serious offense indeed. A girl doing that could easily find herself on toilet suspension in addition to a stretch of cleaning bathrooms after school. Melinda, however, is not being charged with doing either of them on purpose. But before I even have the chance to assure her of that, the scared sophomore beauty is pleading her case even more.
“Please, sir – I didn’t do it on purpose,” she pleads, “I didn’t do any of it on purpose.” “Please sir – It was just an accident – Both things were just accidents,” she continues some more in tears – desperation evident in her voice, “The last thing I ever wanted to mess my panties and then make a mess on the toilet seat, too.” “Please sir! – Please don’t make me go on toilet suspension for this,” she pleads some more, “I would just die if I couldn’t use the bathrooms in school.” I put up my hand to stop her – again, my intent to assure her that she’s pleading needlessly as no one is accusing her of doing any of this on purpose. But the shy and scared sophomore beauty misses the sign and goes on pleading some more.

“Please sir! – I just had an accident – It was just an accident,” she continues, “And I didn’t mean to get the mess on the toilet seat, sir – that just kind of happened.” She goes on to explain that after she had the soiling accident, she suddenly had to pee. “I had to pee really, really bad,” she says, “And I didn’t want to wet my pants, too.” “I know I had gone the other way in my pants, but I just didn’t want to make it worse by peeing my pants, too,” she explains. She goes on to explain further that she then went to the girls’ room and tried to pee with the mess in her panties. “I guess it was kind of smeared on my butt as well as in my panties,” she says, “So when I sat down to pee, I guess I got some of it on the toilet seat, too.” “But I didn’t mean to do it, sir,” she pleads further, “I was just trying to avoid peeing my pants, too.” “I know I had already messed in my panties, but I really didn’t want to make it worse with a doubleheader.” A “doubleheader,” as faithful readers of the TVPC surely know, is when a girl goes both ways in her pants. It does only count as one accident – specifically, a soiling accident – but the girl does get extra punishment because it was both ways. Quite frankly, though, in this case – especially since it was only Melinda’s first offense of the school year – it would have been better had she just wet her pants rather than mess on the toilet seat. Still, I wouldn’t want to discourage her from urinating in the toilet when she needs to. “I guess maybe I could have tried squatting over the toilet and peeing that way,” the pretty sophomore speculates, “But I guess I just wasn’t thinking about that at the time.” “And I’m just really not used to doing that,” she adds, “I know some girls go to the bathroom that way, but I’ve always preferred to sit down on the seat when I go.”

Finally taking a deep breath and pausing a moment, Melinda gives me a chance to interject. It finally gives me the opportunity to explain to her that no one is accusing her of messing the toilet seat on purpose or even soiling her panties on purpose. “It was never at issue but that these were both accidents,” I tell her sympathetically, “No one is saying that you did any of this on purpose.” That revelation noticeably eases the poor girl’s demeanor. Miss Spellman also reassures her. “Really, Melinda, we know it was all accidental,” she tells the girl, “I know going in your pants was an accident and I know you didn’t mess on the toilet seat on purpose.” That assurance also eases her concern. “Nobody’s looking to put you on toilet suspension for this, Melinda,” I further assure her.

But that certainly doesn’t mean that all the news is good for the shy sophomore beauty. Normally, for her first panty-soiling of the school year – again, it being an accidental one – she’d be entitled to be let off with just a warning. But since she committed another offense in conjunction with the panty-soiling – specifically, messing on the toilet seat afterwards – she loses that privilege. And, of course, she also has that additional violation to be punished for. Naturally, Melinda is not pleased to hear that. Still, the panty-soiling is only a first offense and not all that serious. For that she simply gets an hour of detention and has to write, “I will not soil my panties in school again” 100 times. “But I’m afraid the messing on the toilet violation is a bit more serious, young lady,” I point out, “It’s obviously not as serious as doing it on purpose, but I’m sure you can understand why we can’t have girls messing on our toilet seats even accidentally.” “I mean, I commend you for not wanting to wet your pants and turn a panty-soiling into a doubleheader,” I tell her, “But getting some of the mess on the toilet seat as you did certainly doesn’t make our girls’ rooms more inviting for you and your classmates to use.” Accordingly, she is then sentenced to write, “I will not mess on a toilet seat in school again” 500 times. Additionally, she’ll have to spend 3 hours in detention cleaning bathrooms.

Looking over at Melinda, I can see that she’s not looking forward that, but apparently she was expecting much worse.

**Arnold Ziffel** · September 10, 2021, 05:56 AM

Looking over our agenda, I see that our final matter is also a case involving our lovely Math Teacher Miss Spellman. Cassie, a petite and pretty brunette, is charged by Miss Spellman not only with using a faculty/staff bathroom – specifically, using it for a bowel movement – but with clogging the toilet in there in the process. As faithful readers of the TVPC surely know, girls are strictly forbidden from using any bathroom facilities specifically reserved for faculty and staff members. Cassie, another incoming sophomore, was also in summer school for failing Algebra this past school year. She also failed Earth Science and was taking that in summer school as well. Furthermore, she already has a panty-soiling offense – it happened earlier in summer school and was dealt with during a prior Special Session of the TVPC – on her toilet record for this year.

Turning our attention to the pretty, blonde-haired Math Teacher, Miss Spellman is not, to say the least, pleased Cassie over this. This particular faculty bathroom where Cassie allegedly clogged the toilet is a single-user type bathroom with only a single toilet and sink inside. “You know its bad enough that you use a faculty bathroom when you know you’re not supposed to,” she yells at the petite sophomore beauty, “But then you take it one step further and clog the toilet, to boot.” Looking over at the girl, she seems a bit taken aback by Miss Spellman’s harsh tone. I think she’s only beginning to realize how much trouble she is in. Quite frankly, when you get yelled at like that by the perennially good-natured Miss Spellman, you know you’ve done something wrong.

“You know, teachers sometimes need to use the bathroom, too, young lady,” Miss Spellman continues, “And it’s not like we can just get a pass from class and go at any time, either.” “So I’m holding it in, waiting for our break time so I can go,” the pretty teacher explains, “And when break time finally arrives I go the faculty restroom to do what I needed to do.” “But when I get to the bathroom what do I find?” she rhetorically asks Cassie angrily, “I find the toilet clogged and water right up to the rim of the bowl.” “I find the toilet completely unusable with disgusting dirty water right up to the rim of the bowl,” she reiterates, still quite angry. “I couldn’t tell exactly what was clogging it, but suffice to say, it was completely clogged,” she goes on, “I didn’t dare try to use it or even try to flush it.” Miss Spellman tells us that she then had no choice but to go use the student facilities. “The thing was that I really had to go – I had been holding it in during class and I really had to go bad,” the pretty blonde Math Teacher explains, “Obviously, I didn’t want to mess in my pants so I really had no choice but to use the regular girls’ room.”

“I’m sorry,” Cassie mutters, as she breaks down in tears, “I’m sorry that I clogged the toilet.” “I’m sorry, Miss Spellman,” she tells her Algebra teacher as the tears flow, “I didn’t mean any harm – I just needed to use the toilet.” “I’m so sorry you had to use the student bathroom,” the contrite sophomore beauty apologizes to the kind-hearted Math Teacher. “I’m sorry – I’m just so sorry,” she reiterates, “I’m sorry I clogged the toilet.” “I had to go – I was just really desperate to go,” she claims, “And I really didn’t want to go in my pants again.”

Cassie goes on to tell us that she’s on a type of probation with her mom. “My mom put me on probation because of the accident I had earlier,” the toilet-troubled sophomore explains, “Mom says that I’m going to be a sophomore now and she’s not going to put up with me having accidents like I did last year.” “I just got off grounding for that last accident,” she tells us, “But that’s not even the worst of it.” “She bought me pull-ups when I had the accident last month,” Cassie explains further, “And mom says that I’m going to have to wear them if I go in my pants again.” “I was desperate – I was just desperate for the toilet,” she tells us, “I just didn’t want to have another accident – I really didn’t want to have to wear pull-ups to school.” “Please sir – I’m just so sorry I clogged the toilet,” she pleads with me, “I was just trying to use the toilet – I really didn’t mean any harm.”

No one is questioning but that she is sorry for clogging the toilet. Her apologies for that are obviously sincere and I tell her so. But obviously this wouldn’t have happened had she not been using the faculty bathroom in the first place. I mean, perhaps she would have clogged one of the girls’ room toilets instead – I suppose we’ll never know that for sure – but that would be considered a far less serious violation. “Your desire not to mess in your panties again is a noble one,” I tell her, “I suppose the threat of having to wear pull-ups to school would be a strong incentive for anyone not to mess in their panties again.” “But obviously it’s still no excuse for using a faculty restroom,” I tell her sternly, “Obviously, you should have taken care of your business in a student girls’ room.” “I understand and accept that you’re sincerely sorry for clogging the toilet, young lady,” I point out, “But none of this would have happened, of course, had you not been using a faculty bathroom in the first place.” Cassie is nodding her head that she understands. “Yes sir,” she tells me, “I understand.”

But while pretty sophomore brunette likely does understand what I’m saying, I doubt that she fully understands how much trouble she is in. “I suppose I should write Miss Spellman an apology,” she suggests, “You know, because she had to use the girls’ room because I clogged the faculty one.” “Well, you’ll definitely be writing her an apology,” I confirm, nodding my head, “But that’s the least of your problems now.” “You committed two toilet violations, young lady,” I remind her. “First, you used a faculty bathroom and you used it for a bowel movement,” I explain, “And second, you clogged the toilet in there with your bowel movement and your used toilet paper.” “I understand that you didn’t clog the toilet on purpose,” I continue, “But clogging the toilet in a faculty bathroom – a bathroom you shouldn’t have even been using in the first place – is no small matter.” “And unfortunately, young lady, we’re going to have to hold you accountable for that,” I tell her sternly.

Cassie is first sentenced to write, “I will not use a faculty/staff lavatory in school again” 500 times and “I will not clog the toilet in school again” 500 times. “Yes sir,” she tells me, glumly accepting both her punishments. “And, of course, you’ll also have that apology to Miss Spellman to write,” I tell her and note for the record, “And that’ll be a minimum of 1,000 words.” “You’ll also serve 2 weeks detention – 1 week for each violation,” I continue, again noting for the record, “And your detention for the toilet clogging will be bathroom cleaning detention.” Hearing that, Cassie looks at me puzzled. “You’ll spend your detention time cleaning bathrooms,” I clarify, “The specific chores you’ll be assigned and the specific bathrooms you’ll have to clean will be assigned later by the TVPC office.” She lets out an audible groan at hearing that.
But still, that’s not her biggest problem now.

Then – looking the girl directly in the eye – I drop the bombshell. “I’m sorry, Cassie,” I then tell her, “But I’m afraid we’re going to have to make an example of you.” With that, she is then sentenced to 1 week on toilet suspension. “For 1 week, you may not use any school bathroom for any reason,” I tell her sternly, “Nor may you go to the bathroom outside or anywhere else during the school day.”

Pausing a moment – Perhaps making sure she heard me right – Cassie reacts in horror at hearing that. She then begs me not to put her on toilet suspension. “Please sir! – Not my toilet privileges!” she pleads. “Please sir! – I need my toilet privileges!” she begs me, “I just can’t hold it in all day.” “Well, you should have thought of that before you snuck into a faculty bathroom and clogged the toilet there,” I tell her matter-of-factly. “But I didn’t do it on purpose, sir,” she reminds me, “I didn’t mean to clog the toilet.” “Maybe not, but using the faculty bathroom was most certainly on purpose,” I tell her sternly, “And once you did that, you assumed responsibility for what happened next.”

“Since you’re done with summer school, you’ll serve your toilet suspension first thing when school starts in September,” I inform her, “If you want, I’ll let you postpone serving your detentions until your toilet suspension is over.” “Thank you, sir,” she tells me, accepting that offer. “You’ll serve your week of bathroom cleaning detention first,” I further inform her, “And then finally your week of regular detention after that.” Such is standard TVPC policy – that is, the more onerous detention gets served first.

As I look to adjourn this case and this special session of the TVPC, Cassie is still standing at the podium crying into her hands as she contemplates starting the school year on toilet suspension. “Please sir! – I need my toilet privileges!” she begs me some more, “Please sir! – Please don’t make me do this!” But I, of course, remain firm in sticking to her sentence. “Please sir! – There’s got to be something you can do,” she pleads, “I just can’t deal with starting the school year on toilet suspension – Please sir, anything but that.” “Please sir! – There’s got to be something we can do,” she suggests, “There’s got to be some alternative.” “Well, I’m sorry, young lady,” I then tell her sternly, “But you clogged the toilet in a bathroom you shouldn’t have been using in the first place.” “There’s no alternative but a week on toilet suspension for you on that,” I explain.

As we discuss the matter further, it seems that Cassie has reluctantly accepted having a week on toilet suspension, but wonders if there’s a way to avoid starting the new school year like that. “If only I could at least avoid that, sir,” she suggests, “If only there was some way to serve my toilet suspension now and get it over with before the new school year starts.” Thinking a minute, I do come up with an idea.

“Well, I suppose I could let you serve your toilet suspension for 5 days this summer before school starts,” I offer, “But you would have to come in for 5 days of your summer vacation and serve your toilet suspension then.” Cassie immediately shows interest in that idea. “You’d have to come into school from 8 AM to 3 PM for the next 5 days,” I explain, “And you would, of course, not be allowed to use the bathroom while you’re here.” “The time you’re here can also serve as your 1 week of detention,” I note, “And if you want to do 5 hours of bathroom cleaning while you’re here you can satisfy that detention as well.” Cassie, no doubt, is not too crazy about coming in to school during what’s left of her summer vacation, but she readily accepts the offer. “Anything to avoid having to do a toilet suspension during the school year,” she says. She’ll also be able, of course, to use the time she’s here to work on her two 500 times writing assignments.

So concludes this SPECIAL SESSION of the Toilet Violations Punishment Committee. Meeting adjourned at 4:36 PM.

**spandexman** · September 11, 2021, 06:01 AM

What a report! Wow the poop almost hit the fan.

The thought of Grace with a messy pair of skintight red spandex pants is to say the least arousing.

Thank you.

Mrs. Sylvester sounds like another super hottie!

**worldofbaom** · September 12, 2021, 07:49 AM

It would be interesting to see Grace set an example during the school session to let the students know why they should use the bathroom so they won't be on toilet suspension like herself.

Once again, nice work Arnold! It was a good read and it is nice to see you back again.

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