Starbucks changes policy: Restrooms are only for customers

[Lawrence]

All that lobbying by the urolagnia superpac has finally paid off. This should lead to more accidents!

https://www.theguardian.com/business...-north-america

I'm sure the folks over at ARA are huddling in their situation room right now LMAO

[Lawrence]

Oh, you're pregnant? Sorry, we don't offer any special accomodations for pregnant women. And pregnancy is not a disability, so the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) does not apply.

Oh, you're disabled? Well, see, the ADA is about equality. The law requires us to treat disabled customers the same as non-disabled customers. And we do. Disabled customers and non-disabled customers are allowed to use our bathrooms. And we treat all non-customers equally, too, If you are a non-customer, you cannot use our bathrooms, whether you are disabled or non-disabled. We don't discriminate. We are in compliance with the law. If you are not a customer, you literally have no business being in here, regardless of whether you are disabled, or pregnant, or whatever.

So please step outside. You may piss your pants like any other non-customer. Have a nice day now Bwahahahahah

[Lawrence]

But we won't charge you extra for plant milk. That would be rude, and it has the effect of discriminating against people who are lactose intolerant.

https://about.starbucks.com/press/20...tarting-nov-7/

[Lawrence]

Starbucks announces discounts for first responders and surcharges for union members

Starbucks announced on Tuesday that it will offer a 15% discount to all first responders in uniform, while adding a 65 cent surcharge to all orders placed by customers wearing union insignia.

"Starbucks has to pay unionized employees higher wages, and we have to provide more benefits," said spokespeson Amanda Jefferson. "Some of those costs need to be passed on to customers who support unionization efforts. First responders contribute to the wellbeing of our customers and help make sure the environment at our stores is comfortable and safe for our customers. We want to recognize that, and encourage them to visit our stores."

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OK jk I made that one up