A smoking fetish story with a piss theme

[bazzle]

So I apologise now, this is my first attempt at writing for nearly 20 years. It's smoking fetish themed, with some peeing. Stay with it...

If you enjoy great, if not, I'm sorry!
Baz


Friday
It was nine-thirty on Friday night. Laura sat there on her old tatty but comfortable burgundy pleather sofa, her sockless feet tucked up under her bum. She was wearing her extra-large red and black Dennis the Menace nightie, the comic nerdy ex-boyfriend had bought for her as a joke birthday present a couple of years ago, just before he dumped her.


There was an almost empty white wine bottle on the occasional table beside her, along with her full ashtray and ¾ empty pack of Marlboro lights. A full large glass of wine was in her right hand, and a freshly lit cigarette in her left. She was ‘balanced’, that is how she saw it at those moments. The television was on with a popular chat show, but she wasn’t concentrating on it. Laura was lost in her own thoughts. It had been a hard day at work. Laura had dealt with two of her most difficult customers today and she was just glad to be at home.


They had both called at just at the wrong time. The first one called regarding a big contract just as she was about to get up and leave the office for her morning ciggy break, which delayed it by 40 minutes. Laura struggles most days to get through the working week with her two hourly ciggy breaks. This had meant she had got rather crotchety with her customer before they had agreed to talk again next week. The customer finally hung up and she could get out of the office and light her needed cigarette.


It didn’t help that her offices smoking policy was a sole bench about 5 minutes walk across the yard. Laura however smoked her cigarette as she strolled across to the yard, looking up at the cloudless sky reflecting in the windows above. Everyone from the office windows could also look down and see who was walking across and when. It was seen by the non-smokers in the office as the smokers walk of shame.


As she had missed the morning cup of tea and ciggy break with her colleagues, it meant she was alone on the bench, with just her thoughts and her cigarette, wishing she had remembered to make a cup of tea.


The frustration of the awkward customer and her need for nicotine, she chained her next ciggy using the last embers of her first one.


Laura sat and smoked the cigarette enjoying the sunshine for a few minutes and time away from the computer screen. It was pleasant to hear birds tweeting in the background. The bench was next to the large red industrial skip bins, so wasn't the most pleasant of smoking areas.

She extinguished the cigarette in the ashtray on the grey breeze block wall beside the bench and before people started looking for her in the office, she started the walk back to her office. Laura classed this as her exercise for the day. She had measured it a few times with those fitbits that are all the rage.She did between 2500 and 3000 steps a day, not quite the 10,000 but three times a day going down two flights of stairs and walking to the bench for her ciggy breaks. She wasn’t really that fat, at least that is what she said to herself, Laura was comfortable with her size an average UK of a 16, however more recently an 18, but still bought size 16 clothes in hope. It would be mentioned by a few of the office bitches behind her back that she was in no way slim.


She almost had another cigarette as ensure she was calm enough to face the barrage of emails created stepping out of the office for 20 minutes , but thought better of it. Lunch and her next cigarette were only an hour and half away.


The other annoyingly timed customer called at ten to five, just as the office was packing up. Laura knew that if she left about 5 minutes early she could firstly have her cigarette sooner, and secondly she could get ahead of the traffic at the entrance to the dual carriageway just outside her office estate. It wasn’t a long commute, but it was made considerably longer if she didn’t escape ‘on time’.


Her problem was that this customer was stateside, in Seattle, and so for them it was the just beginning of the morning. They had all day to chat and discuss their project. It was a difficult project with several vested interests all wanting different things. The only thing Laura wanted now was her ‘going home’ cigarette. They had called yesterday for her at five to five, but she had strategically been halfway out the door as her colleague yelled at her. She pretended she didn’t hear, as the cigarette was removed from her bag as went down the stairs. As soon as she was outside it was lit. And she was gone.


So the call hadn’t started well as they had been disappointed with her not talking to them yesterday. To Laura the sale was important, as was her commission on it, so she went through the motions of being very apologetic to explaining that she would work on getting the corrections to the contract dealt with as soon as possible, being as polite as she could, whilst watching the clock on the office wall tick round.


Her colleagues had all drifted out of the office as it was Friday night. Only her manager remained at the other end of the office.


In preparation for the end of the conversation, she had retrieved her cigarette pack from her large brown bag in the floor and had put them on the desk, “just shortening the time required later on Laura said to herself whilst the customer wittered on about something inconsequential to project, the discussions with the customer went on and on, the cigarette just got pulled further and further out of the pack.


Laura’s manager then walked past, on the way to toilets, with a raised eyebrow and a shake of the head at Laura toying with her cigarette in the pack, Laura pushed it back in with a moment of guilt.


Laura finally got the customer to agree to her way of thinking, and the end of the call was achieved. Laura scooped up her bag and jacket put her cigarette in her mouth got the lighter from a denim jacket pocket and made for the door.


The cigarette was lit by the time the office front door closed behind her as she inhaled deeply, exhaled upwards to the sky as her shoulders dropped and Laura relaxed and made for her car. As she reached her blue Corsa, she dropped the cigarette on the floor stubbed it out with her light green Newlook flats, looking down on the ground of the carpark she could see the remainder of this week’s end of work day cigarette stubs. “I must cut down” Laura thought to herself “or move car parking space” seeing the now 5 orange stubs on the ground by the driver’s side door with several more from the previous weeks still in the corner of her parking space.


The Friday night commute was as bad as predicted, but with four smoked cigarettes and her IPod shuffle of cheesy 2000s music she was a happy singing, dancing and smoking with the window down. She had to take a detour on the way home via little Tesco’s at the end of the road to get her weekend cigarettes and a couple bottles of wine.


Some of her friends and colleagues were going out on the town they had Whatsapped each other at lunchtime, but Laura had declined to go out saying she just wanted a night in.


Laura got home, opened her door, walked down the hallway past the living room to put the wine in the fridge, grabbed a cigarette from the kitchen table and lit it. Leaned against the sink and smoked. She used the time to check Facebook and Twitter on her phone. As usual recently no one had messaged her anything useful. She extinguished the cigarette in the ashtray on the table and went upstairs. She went to her bedroom, let her mousey brown hair down from its pony tail, untied and climbed out of her green wrap-around work dress and her non-matching blue bra and comfy poker dot granny style knickers, letting them fall to the floor, she then ungracefully attempted to kick the ball of clothe the small distance in to the washing basket beside her wardrobe, leaving the bra and panties balanced the edge of the extremely full basket. ‘Close’ she thought to herself with a smile.


She grabbed her cigarette out of the pack on the bed side unit and lit her first ‘It’s the freaking weekend cigarette’ and turned with her exhale and looked at herself side on in the full size mirror on the wardrobe door. She could see her thighs covered in various bruises even one on her small Eeyore tattoo she got for a dare one drunken Sunday afternoon a few years back, Zoe had the matching Winnie the Pooh on her upper thigh. Most of the bruises came from bumping in to the kitchen table and chairs when drunk she presumed to herself.


She stroked her muffin top belly which lipped over what is now a clear panty line even without clothes on. “That hadn’t been there 3 years ago” she thought to herself as she inhaled her cigarette and subsequently exhaled towards the mirror, then she gently lifted her slightly sagging large breasts and tweaked her large now erect nipples, her breasts were her best asset she reminded herself, when dressed in a certain way- low cut little black dress, push up bra, then she can get the guys to stare with appreciation. She inhaled and then did some well-practiced snap inhales and smoke rings in to the mirror.


Laura balanced the cigarette in the ashtray and retrieved her Denis nightie, dumped on the bedstead in her slightly hungover rush this morning, and put it on. Laura retrieved the cigarette and inhaled, and flumped on to the bed, exhaled the cone of smoke and watched till it hit the bedroom ceiling directly above her head and dissipated, she repeated the large inhale and exhale watching the last bit of smoke bounce off the ceiling. She grabbed her phone, coughed and she sat there on the bed and smoked for a couple of minutes while she ordered her large pizza with extra pepperoni and wedges delivery on her phone app.


She extinguished that cigarette, grabbed and lit her second ‘its the freaking weekend cigarette’ of the evening took a double drag, exhaled, coughed gently, shuffled off the bed, ashed her cigarette and headed downstairs to the kitchen where she dangled the cigarette, opened one of her £6 bottles of chardonnay, poured herself her first large glass of the evening and settled in on the sofa to wait for the pizza delivery guy.

[bazzle]

Saturday

Saturday


Laura woke up with a hacking cough at nine thirty, opened one of her green eyes and checked where she was, in bed- “that’s good” she thought “could have been the sofa” then looked for her cigarettes. There were two left in the pack on the bedside unit. Clumsily and she thought most likely still drunkenly knocking over the bed side lamp with a thud, she retrieved the pack, lit one of the cigarettes, inhaled and her lungs relaxed.


The two bottles of wine and, if she can remember properly, a couple or three gin night caps to herself had not done her head any good, nor had the pack or so of cigarettes she had with the wine, done her throat and lungs much good. She hurriedly smoked her morning cigarette, momentarily solving her throat and lungs problem.


Laura had plans to meet up with Zoe and Karen from work for lunch and spot of shopping at 12. She rolled to the edge of the bed, coughed, and got up in the process of putting out her first cigarette on the overflowing bedside ashtray and put the last one in the pack in her mouth she needed her morning piss, coffee and this cigarette now.


She padded round the bed onto the landing and to bathroom, she hoicked up her surprisingly damp nightie and sat on the toilet. “Did I wet the bed?” She thought to herself.


Laura lit the cigarette in her mouth using the pink Bic lighter conveniently left by the sink taps and relaxed again. As she recreated ‘Niagara Falls’ as her ex-boyfriend had cheekily mentioned once or twice, she started to get flashbacks to last night.


Sometime during the second half of the second bottle of wine, a Brian Cox documentary on one of the random channels on telly had popped up, Laura could now remember being far too drunk to concentrate or take in on the useful information he was saying, however she could vaguely remember fingering herself to orgasm whilst sitting on the on the sofa. She fancied the pants off Prof Cox. Laura’s nipples erected against the nightie at that thought. Laura momentarily stopped peeing and leaned across to ash her cigarette in the white bathroom sink beside the toilet, to find three more butts from last night. She picked them up and dropped them between her legs, they bounced off her thick thighs and into the bowl.

She finished by getting up too early letting the last bit of pee dribble and tickle down her thighs, she dumped the cigarette in the toilet, wiped and flushed. Then she went down stairs to hunt for her morning coffee.


Once her coffee machine had whirred and her phone and fresh pack of cigarettes retrieved from the lounge, Laura was starting feel more human again.


She drank her coffee, smoked her third morning cigarette and nibbled at the half of cold pizza slice remaining in the pizza pack on the kitchen table, and thought about making a plan for the morning.


She checked her mobile phone, no messages from the girls, so she assumed it was still on. She used to go out often with Zoe and Karen, they had actually been to school and college together before going their separate ways at university however somehow, they all ended up back together working at Tectron in the same building. 10-12 years ago, they would have gone out together on Monday, Wednesday and Friday nights, easily drinking three or four bottles of Wetherspoons cheap wine between them and then dancing, drinking and smoking the night away at the nightclub and still managed to up for college or work in the morning. Those were the days when there wasn’t a smoking ban, and there was a convenient smoking section upstairs in spoons. The three girls would be sitting up there in an ever-increasing cloud of smoke.


Karen had been the tall athletic one at school, ran for the county when she was 14 and 15, but found cigarettes when she was about 16 which put that on hold, so clothes always looked good on her. Laura had been better at the stationary sports like shotput. Laura always thought Karen looked like a model. Zoe was shorter and slimmer than Laura and was always blamed for getting the three of them to smoke, she was a lovely bubbly character, even if sometimes a little crazy.


As the world was still swaying slightly every time she moved her head, Laura thought it wise to catch the bus in to town, rather than driving, didn’t want the complication of crashing the car. The bus stop was next to little Tesco’s which would also be useful as she had, as usual, smoked most of the cigarettes she had bought yesterday.


Laura decided it wise to have a shower before going out as she was feeling a little sticky between her thighs from last night’s Brian Cox fun, plus it would be an opportunity to wash her hair, shave her legs and pits so she was presentable for the girls, Zoe and Karen were always, in Laura’s eyes, perfectly turned out. She slowly padded up the stairs grabbing the hand rail and lighting her pre-shower cigarette with the other hand as she went.


40 minutes later she was drying her legs down dangling her post shower cigarette with her right leg perched on the edge of the bed. It was an attempt to try to multitask of not to getting ash on her bed sheets or falling over. Laura got dressed in her comfortable loose fitted semi sheer Primark flowery top which she thought accentuated her large breasts with her white lace bra, and as she had shaved her legs, she pulled on her shorter denim skirt over her sexy blue lace panties, then sprayed herself in her perfume and body spray headed for the bathroom to wash her teeth as her mouth, and as licked her teeth felt awful and to throw on some war paint.


A couple of makeup cigarettes later, and a pre -leaving the house piss, the mobile, purse and the remains of her last pack of cigarettes were thrown in her brown oversized handbag, sunglasses were put over eyes to hide the bloodshot and as Laura left, she retrieved and lit another cigarette as she headed for the door, leaving in her usual cloud of smoke.


The walk to Tesco’s wasn’t far thankfully for Laura, and it was sunny and warm, spring had started well. She stubbed the cigarette using her shoe as she arrived at the entrance of Tesco. She bought two packs of her 20 lights and a bottle of water to drink on the bus as she was still thirsty and threw them in her bag.


She had just missed the bus as she came out of Tesco, so had 10 minutes to kill, so balanced her soft bottom on the uncomfortable solid bar at the back of bus shelter and proceeded to light and smoke another of her cigarette, with several sarcastic coughs from those in the shelter with her.


While she waited, Laura Whatsapped Zoe and Karen to say she was at the bus stop and will be on her way shortly, and to see where they were. Zoe replied to say they had arrived in town and heading into Primark. Laura messaged back to say she would meet them there.


30 minutes later she stepped off the bus much to her relief, threw the empty bottle of water in bin by the bus stop and lit her ready cigarette with a cheek hollowing drag and headed off towards Primark in a cloud of exhaled smoke.


She could see Karen and Zoe outside Primark as she came around the corner, they were having a break from shopping. Karen was showing off her long legs in slim fit jeans a red t-shirt and heels, whereas Zoe was in black leggings and blouse. It was evident the 40 minutes or so of browsing was clearly too long for them too.


“Hey Lauz, how is it going?” The talk slim blonde Karen said as she gave Laura a sort of neck hug their hands going wide of each other to avoid burning themselves with each other’s cigarettes.


“Not too bad Kaz, quiet night in front of the telly relaxing with a glass of wine” replied Laura with her sub truth.


“We went out to spoons again last night, but I was home by 11” replied Zoe, as she also gave Laura a hug.


“After Zo left I ended up with Chris again till 1” said Karen “but didn’t get anywhere with him as he buggered off with his mates”


The three women laughed, and subsequently coughed.


“Maybe next week you will be successful Kaz?” asked Laura,


“Sounds like a plan” replied Karen,


“But Kaz, didn’t you plan that last week?” Cheekily asked Zoe


“Well next week I will be successful!” Karen said with pride. “I know it!”


“So what is the plan for us girls now? Primark?” asked Laura


“Yer Lauz, I found a couple of items I liked in there but couldn't face the queue for the changing room without a ciggy, we ought to go back in and try them on and get them” replied Zoe.


“We can then go on to NewLook and then find some food?” suggested Karen


“Great!” replied Laura “saw a couple of tops in Newlook there I liked the other day”


“We could go to spoons afterwards for some wine and a catch up?” Zoe asked.


“Great, shall we go in to Primark?” Asked Laura as she stubbed out her cigarette with her shoe, thinking wine was not high on her priorities right now.


---
By four thirty the girls were sitting outside in the smoking section of spoons with their Primark and Newlook shopping bags under the table, with their phones, Marlboro lights packs, three empty large wine glasses, two empty bottles of wine and a full ashtray on top. The pub was busy as it was sunny Saturday afternoon, the bar staff hadn’t got around to clearing up the empties.


Shopping had been slow progress with but with successful purchases of some cheap knickers from Primark, a couple of new work tops and trousers in Newlook Laura was happy. By 3 they had given up with the idea walking to M&S at the other end of town to look at their clothes and so had headed to spoons for wine instead.


Laura’s head was feeling much better for two glasses of wine. Hair of the dog she thought.
“Does anyone want another drink?” Asked Laura, waving the closest empty wine bottle around in the air to the group as a suggestion, she had another freshly lit cigarette in the other hand. “It’s definitely my round, and I am gasping for a drink", she said before inhaling her cigarette" I will get the new bottle on the way back from the bog? " she questioned with her exhale" I could do with another piss!” she exclaimed. Laura noted again that after a couple of glasses of wine, her language was definitely cruder.


“No, I better get home” said Zoe “got to meet my mum for dinner later, so can’t be too drunk beforehand and I am feeling the wine now!”


And Karen replied “if you are walking your way Zo, I will walk with you for company as your house is on the way”


A slightly dejected Laura said “No problem, I will see you girls in the office bright and early on Monday morning or at least on the bench for our ciggy break. I should get there this time, darn customers depending” Laura hoped “however I ought to get home and do some tiding, the house is a tip, and with being so busy at work I haven’t had time to clean the house!” Laura stated, but realised she had no intention of completing this task. Especially after two glasses of wine and wanting to have a third as soon as she got home.


“That sounds like a great Saturday night! “Replied Karen “Tipsy house cleaning, don’t get too excited with a broom handle” teased Karen.


“True, but I don’t have a Chris or a prospect of a Chris to chase at the weekends a broom handle is the next best thing!” Replied Laura, exhaling smoke as she spoke, and then sticking her tongue out at Karen.


“But Lauz, you will find your right fish at some point” a supportive Zoe suggested “I’m sure I have seen Sean from technical staring at you!” suggested Zoe


“Thanks Zo!” said Laura “not sure about that, but didn’t you have Steve from accounts recently?” she asked


“Yer” replied Zoe sheepishly “but that didn’t work out so well”. The girls fell awkwardly silent for a second.


“Right shall we go girls?" Asked Laura “I’ve got to get home for my date with the Dettol!”
The girls cackled and coughed. Laura gave Zoe that knowing oh you have that cough too look as they went for a second round of coughs.


“First, I also need to visit the ladies before I start the walk home!” exclaimed Karen “I don’t want to piss myself like I did a few weeks ago, got to the end of my street and everything” Karen explained “I ruined my best white jeans that night!”


The three laughed deeply, then coughed again, with the talk of peeing Laura had another flashback to last night. She had stumbled to the kitchen pour herself the second final gin with-out tonic as she had run out, of the night, and had the feeling she desperately needed to piss again, she now remembered looking and then deciding her secluded back door was closer than the upstairs loo. Laura had her ciggy in the corner her mouth, as she hoiked up her nightie, sitting with her naked bum on the cold back door step, as it was easier than squatting, having a smoke, drinking her gin whilst her pee jetted onto legs and into the patio garden. At least it was only the nightie that got wet, Laura thought, as she smiled to herself.


The three girls all had a synchronised last inhale and exhaled to produce a large cloud above the table, which the breeze took away, stubbed their finished cigarettes in the overflowing ashtray, picked up their collection of bags, cigarettes, and phones and made for inside and for the toilets.


-----
Laura was sitting on the bus home trying to stay awake to find her stop and with her bags on her lap to hide that her skirt riding up her thighs. The traipsing around town and the lunchtime glasses of wine always had made her sleepy especially as she had only eaten a slice of pizza for breakfast. But it had been a great catch up with the girls out of work time.


She got off by the Tesco and stopped to have a cigarette because the 20 or so minutes on the bus were far too long. With it crushed below her feet she went to buy another pack of her Marlboros; she had smoked more than she intended- she hadn’t really planned for afternoon wine with the girls. It almost always involved chatting, drinking and chainsmoking.

Laura also got a couple of bottles of wine from the chilled section to replace what she drank last night.


Slowly dawdled up the street from Tesco, Laura had another cigarette on the go and had that light headed happy tipsy feeling. She got to her front door, she attempted the drunken careful balance the shopping bags on the wall, dangle her cigarette, find the keys at the bottom of the bag and open the door manoeuvre.


After couple attempts, she managed to get the key in the lock, Laura opened it and then dumped her clothes shopping and hand bags at the bottom of the stairs, put the wine in the fridge and then flumped on the sofa.


After a few minutes of quietly sitting doing nothing other than smoking, she got up and grabbed her phone from her handbag at the bottom of the stairs, and Whatsapped the girls group to say she was safely home. After a few minutes both Zoe and Karen pinged her back to acknowledge they were home too. Yes, they are all in their early 30s and Laura lives quite happily on her own in her own home- her mum had helped her with a nice deposit, but it’s still nice to let your friends know you are home safe. She flicked on the telly, it was yet another Pointless repeat.


She looked at her mobile phone and noted the time as ten past six and called her local Chinese Takeaway. It was literally two minutes’ walk up the road, which was convenient when Laura didn’t want cook.


“Hi, telephone order for Laura, Hi, yes me again, Could I have a number 8, 58 and prawn crackers for 630, Please?” Laura requested her usual, she didn’t need to look at the menu, she ordered these a little too frequently, the staff even recognised her on the phone.


“Ah ok 645 will be fine” Laura replied to the phone


“Great thanks” and Laura hung up.


As she hadn’t any lunch, and as a lady with a large appetite she was starving, both Karen and Zoe survived on much lower food intake than Laura ever could. Laura was also thirsty the recent cigarettes had dried up her throat somewhat.


Laura went to the fridge dangling her most recently lit cigarette as she went, opened the door for hunt for something to drink whilst waiting for her Chinese.


It then dawned on Laura that she really hasn’t done any shopping other than for wine and cigarettes for the last couple of days. The fridge was empty with the exception of margarine, nearly gone off milk, a couple of Corona beers bottles and the earlier purchased wine.


Whist still dangling her cigarette, she opened the wine, rinsed last nights wine glass under the tap as there were no clean glasses, carefully attempted to pour half a glass which ended up full, grabbed her last pack of pringles from the cupboard beside the fridge and returned to the comfortable sanctuary of sofa.


-----
It was 9 o’clock and Laura’s mobile rang, she managed to swipe and answer it, couldn’t focus on the screen as to who it was.


She was just sitting on the sofa in her blue panties, her clothes had been discarded in to the corner of the room in frustration after the naughty chow mein that had decided to spill it's self-down her whilst she was attempting to eat it.


“Hey wo it's me” Laura answered


“Laura, its’ your mum, just ringing to see you are, how is your Saturday night?”


“Heeeey Mumm I’m god.” Said Laura trying to think of the right words and sound as sober as possible, after which she had another cheek caving inhale on her latest ever-present cigarette thinking that would help her brain straighten her muddy answers.


“I should have called earlier before you had more evening wine, but I was busy with my friends?” Her mum said “Are you ok? Or are you just drunk again?” enquired her all-knowing mum.


“Nah mum, I’m merry good. Went smoking with my grills for munch” replied Laura confidently along with her exhaled smoke. Laura took a large swig which nearly emptied her wine glass as it was clearly going to help her talk to her mum properly.


“Was that fun? By the sounds of it you went to the pub afterwards!?!” asked the mum


“I may be had some dinks mummy” she replied truthfully. Inhaling again, smiling with her exhale through her nose, it’s only been a couple of glasses since I got home from the Chinese she thought.


“As long as you are ok sweetie, that’s great.”


“Yup mummy I’m good!” replied Laura


“I was thinking of popping over tomorrow to say hello, as it’s been a couple of weeks or so since I last saw you?” suggested her mum. “Will you be in?!” she asked.


Laura inhaled her cigarette, looked around the her living room, exhaling her smoke as she turned her head, and waited a second or two for the room to catch up with her, to enable her to see the piles of dirty clothes, takeaway boxes, empty wine bottles and cigarette packets strewn around the living room.


“That would be ness mummy, tink I need some help tiddling my house” Laura said very proudly. “I be in!” Laura said her mum having a thoughtful inhale, thinking if she had any plans to go out, and couldn’t really concentrate on thinking on anything much, except she could see her wine glass was nearly empty, her current cigarette was at the filter and her bladder was full, she exhaled and stubbed the cigarette on the occasional table, as that was as close as she got to the darn moving ashtray.


“Byeee mum” said Laura as hung up on her mum.


She dealt with the issues in priority and ease order, she lit her new cigarette, coughed, then dangled it and slowly got up by sliding on to the floor, turning around to hug the sofa and climbing back up pushing against the chair, she retrieved her cigarette pack and lighter squishing these between her belly and front of blue panties, whilst untucking her arse wedgie achieved from sliding on to the floor.


It took a couple grabs to pick up her 1/4 full glass. With great concentration she turned and made a move in the direction of the living room doorway and, her mostly naked body, meandered in a determined way to the doorway. She grabbed hold of the frame for comfort when she got there. As she leant against the frame Laura took a deep drag on her dangled cigarette with the orange ball of her cigarette bouncing as she did. The remaining wine was necked with some dribbling down the side of her mouth. She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. She then had to focus.


Whilst leaning against the living room door frame she gently put her finger to the gusset of her knickers, they were damp, she slid her finger up along her crack to her mound and rubbed a couple of times, and then put her finger in her mouth.


“Piss” she said out loud to no one, she looked across to the kitchen, and to the fridge, and back to her empty wine glass in her hand and then to the back door and the dusk light coming through and then up to the stairs and the bathroom light at above her.


With her pee jetting and splashing between her legs and on to the patio for a second night in a row, a cigarette in her left hand, her now full wine glass in the right, her blue panties getting soaked around her toes, she hadn’t quite got them off in time before she started peeing, it had taken longer than she thought to pour the wine from the fridge.

[bazzle]

Sunday

Sunday


“Whose door bell is ringing so loudly at this time on a Sunday morning?” Thought Laura as she rolled over and coughed in to the pillow several times. Trying to keep her eyes shut, her head was hurting and “that ringing really ought to stop soon” she thought.


The doorbell stopped ringing, and she relaxed.

Then she could hear her mobile phone ringing downstairs. “I will get that later”, she thought, it can’t be that important.


Then there was banging on the door.


“Fuck!” said Laura rolling back and sitting bolt upright in bed, trying to re-swallow her stomach contents that was moving with the sharp movement and not helped by the ever so slightly spinning room.


“Fuck!” she said again then coughed.


“Mum!” She exclaimed.


Laura gingerly got out of bed holding on to the wall for support, she noticed she was naked and could feel thought proudly that somehow, she got her self-undressed last night before bed, but with no memory of where her clothes actually were. She could feel grit on her bottom but couldn’t think where she had been for that. Laura grabbed her nearly empty packet of cigarettes on the bedside unit, lit one and took a deep drag and lightly coughed the exhale. The knocking got louder, and she could hear her mum shouting “Laura” at the top of her voice. She inhaled her cigarette deeply again for mental and physical strength.


“I’m on my way mum Laura shouted back, exhaling her smoke as she shouted. “Shh that shouting hurt my head” she said quietly out loud to the empty room.


Laura stumbled across her bedroom wincing as bounced off the side of the bed and wall as she went and grabbed her pink fluffy dressing gown from the chair in the corner of the room throwing more dirty clothes on the floor in the process. Laura dangled her cigarette as steadied herself with the hand against the wall and tried to wrap and tie the gown around her body one handed, tucking her escapee breast back in to the gown in an attempt to at least make herself half decent and she then wobbled and stumbled over some of the clothes on the floor, before making it gingerly down the stair to find her mum, swearing as she went. She needed a morning pee, but she decided that would have to wait. Her mum was still shouting “Laura” and banging on the door, and the neighbours would probably start complaining soon.


“Hey Mum, I'm here" she said as she attempted to open the door, "good morning, how are you doing?” Laura said trying on bright and breeziness as she actually opened the door. Laura was squinting her eyes, put her cigarette in her mouth and used her hands to shield her eyes to protect them from the late morning daylight coming through the now open front door.


“Good morning darling, well it’s almost afternoon Law” her mum said briefly looking at watch on her wrist for effect “I am absolutely fine her mum said, “I am more concerned with you!” her mum followed up sternly.


“I’m fine mum honestly, come in “Laura said cigarette bouncing in her mouth as she spoke “clear a space on the sofa and take a seat” She directed and then thought “Oh actually mum, can I be cheeky, can you pop the kettle on for us?” She asked, “I need to go back upstairs for a moment!”


“I will do” said her mum “but first give me a hug”.


They had a mother daughter bear hug.


“Sweetie” her mum sniffed “the house stinks like a brewery, and I’m sorry darling, to be brutal, you smell awful too!” she stated


In the hallway Laura sniffed her armpits and then her hair and cringed. “I did shower yesterday mum honest”


Her mum raised her eyebrow at her.


“I’m ok mum, I just had some wine with the girls yesterday after shopping that’s all” said Laura followed with a couple of hard coughs. “I forgot to set the alarm this morning” thinking she couldn’t even remember getting in to bed. As Laura extinguished the cigarette in the full ashtray in the living room and said "Back in two ticks" as she carefully padded up the stairs for her now desperate morning pee and an attempt to get presentable for her mum.


Her mum did what mums do best, went in to the kitchen, retrieved a black rubbish sack from under the sink and proceeded to clear the pigsty of a living room, she opened the curtains and windows to get some light and fresh air in the room, then filled the sack with this and last week’s takeaway cartons, empty cigarette packs and extremely full ashtrays. Tutting at her daughter the whole time. She couldn’t really complain too much about the smoking, she was dangling her own Marlboro light at the same time, but she was concerned about the quantity of empty wine bottles she was finding. She even helpfully picked up Laura’s Chinese stained clothes from the living room and put them in her own bag to take home wash later.


She had hoped for grandchildren sooner rather than later, but as she cast her eyes around the now cleaner room and to the full sack, she was reminded that was not looking very likely at the moment.


With that rubbish sack full she went in to the kitchen in attempt find a clean surface in there.
After about 30 minutes Laura returned downstairs with dangling her most recently lit cigarette, her face and teeth washed, and body sprayed, she had combed and put her hair up in a ponytail. The only clean clothes she could find were her large plain white t-shirt and grey elasticated baggy tracksuit bottoms, it was evident through the white top as she bounced down the stairs she hadn’t bothered with a bra. Laura had tried to find some clean knickers, but the remaining ones in the bottom of her drawer were a size or two too small. She couldn’t find last night’s dirty ones either.


“Oh, that’s where they are” Laura said as she got to the bottom of the stairs remembering her new Primark knickers as she kicked the bag at the bottom of the stairs.


“Ah your back and looking better already sweetie” her mum said looking up at her from the kitchen table with a coffee mug in her hand.


“Oh, thanks mum, you are star, I’ve been meaning to do that for a while!” said Laura sheepishly as she padded in to the kitchen. Seeing the two full bin bags in the corner of the kitchen, “I will take them out to the wheelie bin later”


“Thanks, they are a tad heavy for me now!” replied her mum. “I’ve found some milk and that is about it” her mum said as a statement “the milk smells just about ok for the coffees- I am thinking I should take you to the big Tesco for some supplies don’t you think?” her mum suggested.


“Coffee is lovely thanks mum” said Laura, taking a sip of her hot coffee and then stubbing her latest cigarette out on the now clean ashtray, and, offering mum one of her cigarettes from the packet on kitchen table “also yes I do think I need some food, I think I am running low on a few bits” she feebly replied.


They both lit up cigarettes and simultaneously inhaled deeply and created a large cloud of smoke above their heads with the simultaneous exhale.


Trisha who was just shy of 55, had smoked as a teenager and early twenties, but had given up when she got married and had Laura. She had always liked to stay relative fit with long walks in the country with her husband, Dereck, and being active in the community, and she still clerks the local parish council meetings.


For her, and she believed for Laura, this all changed when Dereck died of a car accident four years ago. He was coming home late at night after work and a drunk driver crashed in to his car, he wasn’t at fault. Laura had been so supportive following, as a thank you she had used some of his life insurance pay out to help Laura buy her own place. Laura had reintroduced cigarettes into her life as a way of dealing with the grief. It was wrong, but it felt at the time so right.


Sitting with her daughter having a morning coffee and cigarette together in the house they bought with the insurance money was nice reminder of her husband and Laura’s dad.
"Oh Law, you must google how to keep cats away from your back yard" Trisha suggested after her exhale with the remaining smoke escaping as she spoke.


"Why mum? I didn't know I had that problem" Laura replied, looking through the kitchen door window to the small patio yard area.


"I opened the back door, which was unlocked darling! You must be more careful! Don’t want you to get burgled now, to get some fresh air in the house, and your back-patio area stinks of cats’ pee, it's not good thing" Trisha stated.


"Oh" thought Laura as she had a thoughtful inhale, she didn't realise she had peed out there that often, did I do it again last night? she mused to her blank memory "I will look that up later today" she said to her mum with her exhale. "Oh, to have a downstairs loo" she muttered to herself.


“It must have rained her locally last night as well Law” said Trisha inhaling on her cigarette “I picked up a pair soaking wet blue panties from the back door step” she started her exhale you must have dropped on the back step at some point” She said through her exhale” Ive thrown them in the washing machine for now.” she informed “Also you should also clear up some of the butts you have flicked out there too, it’s not good for the birds as they think its food!!” Her mother reprimanded. Without openly questioning Laura why pee-soaked panties were there at all.


“Oh, thanks mum, will do” replied Laura in a teenage style. The jigsaw pieces started to fall in to place, firstly the panties had been located, then after a few seconds Laura started to remember attempting to flick a couple post pee cigarettes across the patio with a drunken childish giggle.

She had initially struggled to stand up after her pee as her wet panties were tangled with her piss splashed legs, so had drunkenly logically stayed where she was for a couple of chained ciggies sipping her wine getting her strength back to try stand up again. She had sat there long enough to need to piss again. Though once her naked bum on the step had got too cold and the previously warm pee puddle she is sitting in had become too uncomfortable, she had to get up. It took her three attempts to untangle the now heavy sopping panties from her feet and get up without spilling the remainder of her wine or dropping her dangled cigarette.


“We maybe could find your dads old pressure washer in our garage and clean the patio one day?” said Trisha snapping Laura away from her attempts at remembering last night.
“Oh, that would be good mum, do you know how to use it?” Asked Laura with a subsequent inhale.


“No, but don’t you young people Youtube how to do everything now anyway?” replied Trisha


“Good Point mum, we can look that up closer to the time” replied Laura exhaling away.


“Talking of time, Law, shall I drive you to Tescos?” Trisha asked, exhaling out her smoke as she spoke like the experienced smoker she had become “Don’t they shut at four on Sundays?” she rhetorically asked herself and Laura.


“Oh yes, that would be good mum, I definitely need food in the house and I don’t think I should drive just yet” Laura said thoughtfully looking across at the collection of empty wine bottles her mum has tidied on the counter, then took a large swig of her coffee.


“Law, can I suggest something else before we leave?” Trisha asked


“Yeers mum” Laura said worried of what criticism was heading her way


“You should go and put a bra on before we go out” Trisha suggested “you will get the teenage weekend till boy far too excited if you go out like that!” Trisha always tried to be truthful to her daughter.


Laura dangled her cigarette, and guiltily folded her arms across her chest in show of hiding her loose large breasts and said, “Yes mum, will grab one now!”


----


Big Tesco’s was hard for Laura, the 20-minute drive with her mum allowed for a couple of pre-entry cigarettes. But her main problem was the hangover was now properly kicking in even with after the coffee with her mum. With the bright lights of the store and she the fact that she probably hadn’t gone more than 40 minutes without a cigarette since Friday, the hour and half walking slowly up and down the isles was difficult. Shopping without a list is problematic at the best of times. They got to the coffee isle, Laura put a couple of boxes of pots for a coffee machine in the trolley and then pulled a cigarette and lighter out of her bag.


"Im sorry mum, I will be 5 minutes, I need some fresh air Laura" said sheepishly putting the cigarette in her mouth.


"Darling you have got it bad havent you" said Trisha "I will look after the trolley and see you in a few minutes".


"Yup, will be back in bit" Laura said with the unlit cigarette bouncing in her mouth as she walked off.


The cigarette was lit as soon as she was out the door, she walked over and sat on the metal bar for the trolley park next to a little old lady and did a desperate double pump in inhale.


"Dear, you remind me of my youth" a little old lady rasped beside her as Laura exhaled, the lady had a weathered and wrinkly face her grey fringe tinted yellow from years of smoking
"mind you I'm no differed now" she wheezed her exhale, dropping and stubbing out the cigarette with her feet. Laura inhaled again and watched as she exhaled through her nose as the old lady slowly walked back in to the store with her walking frame.


"That will be me in forty years time" Laura said out loud before inhaling deeply again.


Laura finished her cigarette flicking it in to the trolley park beside her as she exhaled and went back to find her mum.


She got back to her mum in the bread isle, the trolley a lot fuller than when she left it. as her mum was offering to buy her shopping, wine and some more ciggies, so she wasn’t going to complain too much.


By the time they reached the checkout, Laura had got a little crotchety and snapped with the charity lady offering to pack her bags for her. But her blue lacy bra under the stretched white top still got the till guy to stare at her chest. She saw this as small victory over her mother.
As they walked down the end of the checkouts towards the exit, Laura retrieved her cigarettes from her bag and offered one to her mum, she refused and took her own cigarette out her own hand bag. They both lit up as soon as they left the supermarket with Laura pushing her now full trolley clinking with wine bottles, and supplies went to find the car, they both stopped exhaled a blue cone to sky with both their heads slightly kinked to the left. As such you could tell they were related.


They got back to Laura’s and together they put the shopping away, had a ciggy break, emptied the several piles of dirty washing in the bedroom in to the washing machine and ran it, had a salad sandwich, crisps and diet coke each for a late lunch, and then put the contents of the washing machine in the tumble drier so the Laura had some dry, clean clothes for next week. There was no point hanging it out on the line it was threatening to rain.


They did the dishes together dangling their cigarettes as they did it and then went around the house tidying, vacuuming the trails of dropped ash that Laura had spread around the house over the last couple of weeks. The occasional table even got the wiped attempting to clean up the many wine glass circles, the drunken miss-placed ash and cigarettes butts and it had a bit of a polish. Laura even cleaned the pleather sofa, as there were a couple of recent stains on her usual seat, but her mum didn’t need to know about them.


“So darling, we have stocked the fridge and cupboards again, done some washing at least you’ve have some clean knckers for work tomorrow” stated Trisha “oh I’ve also taken some clothes you had dumped in the living room, I will soak them and try and remove the food stains for you!”


“Oh, thanks mum, you are a star” said Laura “The takeaway slipped in my hand when I was eating” explained Laura.


“Think you should survive for another couple of weeks now?” Asked Trisha


“Yes mum, but I will text you regularly” replied Laura.


Trisha left at five-thirty feeling tired but happy that she had straightened her daughter and the house out. She knew she would probably have to repeat the process in a few weeks’ time, but hell that is what mothers are for.


Laura waved her mum off from the living room window and smiled as she drove away. It was good to have the company and reconnect to the mothership.


Laura turned walked back to the sofa, kicked off her shoes, unhooked her blue bra and untangled the straps from her arms and lifted the wired cups over her breasts and pulled it through her white t-shirt arm hole and threw the bra across the room, it landed on the back of the single sofa chair in the corner. Laura proceeded to light and have a cheek caving inhale for her first ‘fuck its Sunday night I need my Marlboro light’ of the night, exhaled to the ceiling, gently coughed and put the cigarette in the corner of her mouth, padded across the house to the kitchen and to fridge, got her wine out and opened it, and poured a large glass and had a good gulp of her wine, coughed again and returned to the sofa in her cloud of smoke for relaxing ‘school’ night evening.

The End - for now

[bazzle]

The following Friday

Friday

It was 6pm the office had mostly decamped to the Royal Oak which was on the outskirts of town on the way into town from the office, they had put a large TV up for the football in the beer garden. Laura had been given a lift in to work by Sean, as he lived nearby and was willing to be the DES. Laura knew she didn't have the will to achieve that task.

Sean had been volunteered by his colleagues in a round robin email on Thursday as he lived so close to Laura. Laura had made herself get up and be ready and presentable as she was getting a lift in the morning. A couple of chained cigarettes some chewing gum and some body spray she was ready at eight thirty to be picked up.

Work had been ok for a Friday. But she had no interest in the football, but the sun was out, and it was hot. As she had declined to go out last Friday thought it wise at least to show willing this evening.
Laura was wearing a full-length linen light pink gypsy style skirt with a white blouse and white bra, her hair was up in a ponytail and it was hot and she had been so sweaty this week, so she had gone commando, dangerous for work, but cooler for her.

Laura was sitting at the wooden bench tables in the beer garden with half empty pint of cider and her trusted light between her fingers. She was sitting beside Karen with Zoe opposite. They were sitting under their own cloud of smoke being produced by the three smoking and others in the group. She had offered and bought the round of drinks as she walked in for herself, Karen, Zoe and of course a pint of coke for Sean. The girls went to one table and Sean and the guys to another.

Midway thought the next pint of cider, Zoe leaned in and attempted a whisper "Law, Sean keeps looking at you?”

Laura looked across to the other table "It's because he is giving me a lift, he is probably worried about having a tipsy Laura in the car" Laura replied taking a squig of her cider. “I’m trying to be good this evening" Laura stated, inhaling deeply on her current cigarette.

She had spent the rest of the evening in the beer garden drinking cider, followed by G+T's and of course smoking.

“Glad I went commando” she said to herself, as she exhaled, Laura had just let the others go to get her drink, while she sat there having a smoke saving the table and looking after the bags

As the other girls had gone, she had the table to herself and with the noise of the football commentary so no one she hoped was any wiser of her actions as the pee trickled down between her legs and on to the grass floor of the beer garden. She could have gone to the loo with the others, but she had just lit her cigarette and thought it unwise to waste it. So she flipped the back of her long skirt from under her bum so it hung off the back of the bench and down to the grass below, shuffled forwards slightly and let go.

There was a downside of her actions, firstly she thought she had a splinter from the bench in her naked bottom and secondly, she now had wet sandals. It was hot, she didn’t care, and they would soon dry off.

She got out her phone and checked for her social media, to concentrate on something than other what was going on between her thighs and to kill time whilst she waited for the girls and her next drink. It was all football related so she yawned and put her phone back in the bag. Had a cheek hollowing inhale with a large coned exhale, and as she turned her head slightly, out of the corner of her eye she caught a glance of Sean, were the girls right and Sean kept staring at her? She stopped pissing just in case. Laura smiled and sipped the melted gin flavoured ice dregs of the G+T and inhaled her cigarette, turned her head towards the direction of Sean and exhaled. “Bugger” she said to herself, he wasn’t looking at her that time, he was watching the football, as someone had tried to score or something.

Sean was about 6ft slim build with short black hair. He was the manager of engineering department and previously mentioned he did some of sport, cricket or something, Laura couldn’t remember. He was looking good wearing a short sleeved checked shirt and blue tailored shorts.

She was pondering what to do next when the girls returned with the drinks on a tray and a wooden spoon with a number on it. They had bought a double round as the scrum at the bar was so big. Somebody had been clever to order several bowls of chips, as no one had eaten anything since lunchtime.

At 815, she was sipping her third double G+T and just about to open her new pack of ciggies when Sean came over. "Hey Law, the game is 15 mins in to the second half, are you ok for me to take you home at full time?" He asked. "That will be in about half an hour" he clarified.

Laura turned to girls said, "Is that ok if I bugger off with Sean?" She lit her new cigarette and inhaled. “It will be bloody expensive in a taxi if I don’t” stated Laura.

"Law, you've got a personal taxi so go for it! Plus, he is se.." She corrected herself" A kind guy to offer to drive you home!" Said Karen winking at Zoe.

Sean blushed.

Zoe added "We will be absolutely fine, I only live around the corner from here, go and get home safe with Sean, he is lovely!" she winked again.

Laura inhaled her cigarette "Sean, I will finish this drink," she said swirling it as she exhaled her smoke" then go to the toilet and I will be ready to go by full time! Thank you ever sooo much" she replied.

"Great" he replied "will see if there any lads who want a lift too"

Laura’s’ shoulders dropped slightly after thinking she might have had the car with him alone.

She chained the next two cigarettes and finished her drink. She realised she hadn't stood up for two rounds.

She gingerly got up, the biggest issue was retrieving her legs from under the table bench without flashing the pub her bare arse, with this achieved, she put her pack of cigarettes and phone back in her bag, inhaled deeply, exhaled upwards away from the table and extinguished the ciggy in the ashtray. She checked where she had been sitting and it had dried up, and then aimed indoors and for the ladies with 15 minutes till full time. Laura did say to the group "I’ll be back" in a drunken Schwarzenegger style and giggled.

Laura was wobbling slightly in the toilets waiting for the next free cubical, she went to the sink for some support and concentrated whilst dug out and then re-applied her make up in the mirror, and sprayed some body spray on herself- she was going to be in close proximately to Sean, a real male in a few minutes, and it was hot out there, she had been sweating, “the weather is too hot for a large unit like me” she said to herself. She had thought about taking her bra off to cool down, she would have done at home, but seeing as she was getting a lift home, that may have been a little forward.

The cubical came free and Laura stumbled in bumped the side of cubicle, closed the door and did what she needed to do.

She carefully came back downstairs and briefly contemplating queuing for another gin but thought better of it. She meandered her way back into the beer garden and looked up at the big screen, it was 85 minutes gone, she wasn’t interested in the score but importantly assumed she had 5 minutes for a cigarette, so went back over to say goodbye to the girls, lighting up as she went.

“Think the game is nearly over?” asked Zoe.

“80 odd minutes gone, its nearly full time” replied Laura followed by an inhale, “but the game hasn’t finished yet, so my taxi isn’t leaving yet” she said exhaling.

“Ah so another drink?” replied Zoe looking at her empty glass.

“Don’t think I’ve got time for that Zo, the game has nearly finished” replied Laura,

“May be next time, do you know what’s the score?” Asked Zoe

“No idea, but its apparently the guys were saying it was an unusual game” replied Laura. Pulling at her cigarette, then exhaling through her nose. “All I know is it is too darn hot for this time of night” stated Laura lifting up at her blouse flashing her belly to Zoe, attempting to get air flow in and around her body.

“Tell me about it” Said Zoe, “any more of this and I will melt in to the ground, I was seriously contemplated coming to work in my bikini this morning” Joked Zoe.

“None of the guys would get any work done if you did that, they would be queuing up at your desk to do your photocopying, retrieve your printing and making you endless cups of tea!” replied Laura, thinking if she did that everyone would be hiding away from her or laughing.

“Now that is an idea Law”, Zoe said as she thoughtfully inhaled her cigarette.

And both girls giggled.

“Shall we see you tomorrow night?” Asked Zoe.

“Can I let you know tomorrow? Don’t know if I can cope with two nights out in a row!” replied Laura knowing full well she could but she did like time alone on the sofa.

With that the final whistle had clearly went as all the guys got up to head to the loos or to the bar.

“I think my lift will be waiting for me” said Laura

Zoe also gently stood up as she had equally had a few to drink and gave Laura a hug and a knowing smile as Laura stubbed her cigarette out on the ashtray on the table and carefully walked over to see Sean.

She put her arm on Sean’s shoulder, primarily for support and secondly get it is attention- or was it the other way around?

He spun around smiling

“Hiya Law, are you ready to go?” He asked

“Yup all ready” she replied with her drunken smile.

"Great the others are staying on, so it’s just us two going back” replied Sean.

“That’s cool” said Laura, thinking that is a positive.

With various jokey wolf whistles from their colleagues Laura slowly followed Sean out of the beer garden and through the throngs of people at the bar and to Sean’s black Clio.

Laura got the car and stopped and leaned against the car for support “Can I light and smoke this before we go?” she asked holding up a cigarette “I don’t want to get your car smelling of my smoke” being considerate that Sean is a non-smoker.

“Yer of course he said” as Laura lit up and inhaled deeply to try and smoke the cigarette as quickly as possible.

“Thanks, she said” with her exhale.

“I will open the car and get the windows open, the car is probably boiling” said Sean.

“Thanks, hunny” replied Laura and questioned if she had just called Sean hunny as she smoked her cigarette. Shuffling her posterior and her cigarette smoke away from the now open passenger side door window.

“Sod it Law, get in, we can keep windows are open” replied Sean from within the car looking through the now open passenger side window from the driver’s side seat.

“Are you sure?” asked Laura, peering in.

“Yup get in!” replied Sean.

Laura got in, dangled her cigarette whilst she struggled to put the seat belt on, Sean leaned across and helped her. Laura noticed Sean looking at her chest and smiled, the seat belt accentuated her large breasts and showed off her bra. Once clicked in she put her cigarette in her left hand and stuck it out the window.

“Thanks for the lift, the busses just don’t work from here for me” Said Laura “Think I would have to have to changed three times!”

“No problem” said Sean “that is the very same reason I decided to drive” replied Sean with as much as one eye on Laura and the other on the road as he could.

Laura sat with her legs wider than normal apart; Sean had the air con set to feet blower as well in the face, which meant a nice cooling breeze was flowing up her skirt. This did mean that every time Sean got to a traffic light he knocked her knee with the back of his hand moving the gearstick from 1st to 2nd.

Laura was actually enjoying both sensations; it was probably due to the couple of pints of cider and three double G+Ts and this heat she thought. She finished her cigarette and flicked it out the window.

As she didn’t think Sean would approve of messy butts in his clean car and lifted the button for her window to go up. Her dad had always complained to her about driving along with both the window open and air-con on- something to do with trying to cool the outside down at the same time.

Once the window was closed Sean started to enjoy the wafts of her perfume and cigarette aroma as cars blower moved the air around, he was a lifelong, anti-smoker, but for some strange reason didn’t mind that smell from her.

As they got closer to Laura’s house, Laura asked “Could I be cheeky and ask you go via little Tescos at the end of my road?” she asked, “I have almost run out ciggies” she explained looking in her hand bag for effect” I wont be too long!”

“Yer of course Law, it’s on the way”

Sean pulled up on to the curb by Tescos whilst Laura moved as quickly as she could for her worse for wear state in to Tesco. She did detour via the chiller for a bottle of white and some milk and then went to tobacco counter for a couple of packs of 20. She put the milk, wine and one of the ciggy packs in her large bag straight way after paying, carrying the remaining pack in her hand.

“Thanks for waiting for me hunny” she said as she got to in to the car” I don’t have to walk back down here in the morning” she said holding the pack for effect.

“No problem one doesn’t want to get in between a girl and her ciggies!” replied Sean, helping her with her seat belt again.

“You are a star” replied Laura, and as they drove off “do you fancy coming in to mine for a coffee?” thinking that he would say no, and then panicking if the house was presentable.

“Oh, I could do”, he said looking at his watch, “not got any plans other than needing a relatively early night”.

“Great” she said as retrieved a cigarette and her lighter from the bag on her lap and held on to both for safety. As was a natural reaction as soon as she got out of the car, she lit the cigarette had a cheek hollowing inhale and walked around, slightly bouncing off the bonnet of the car and down the path to open her front door. Sean followed waving his hands about her in the cloud of her exhaled smoke.

“Make yourself at home” Laura said pointing to the living room on their left. “The TV remote is on the arm rest I’m going to go upstairs and change in to something more comfortable.” She said thoughtfully “I will get the drinks on my way back.”

“Cool” said Sean

Laura slowly padded up the stairs smoking as she went. She got to the bathroom, pulled down her skirt, sat down, coughed and then peed. She then balanced her ciggy on the basin and peeled off her top and unhooked and removed her sticky clammy bra.

She kicked the clothes across the room towards the shower, retrieved her cigarette, inhaled and continued peeing.

Once finished she threw the cigarette in to the bowl between her legs, wiped, flushed and sprayed herself with body spray and went to her room.

Sean could hear most of this, as she had left the bathroom door open and subsequently could follow her movement through her heffalumping on floorboards above him. She is no Woozle he thought. He picked up a blue bra that was balanced on the corner chair next to where was clearly her seat. That was evident by the large full ashtray on the occasional table and the remote on the nearest armrest.

He folded the large cupped bra the best he could and put it on the floor beside the chair and sat down and waited.

She went to her drawers and quickly found a loose large white vest top and just about managed to get that on over her head and pulled up some very short but loose pyjama shorts. It was 930 at night and still hot. If she hadn’t had company she would have been naked! Its was far too hot to be conservative.

As she came back down the stairs she said “Hey hunny, thanks for that, feeling better out my work clothes” she said as got the door way to the living room, she leaned against the door frame “What do you want to drink?” She then asked “Wine, beer, Coke or actually a coffee?” Being thankful she bought milk.

“Umm” Sean looked across from the corner seat he was sitting on to see Laura and her large legs on show, “umm” he said as he then looked at vest top which was just about containing her large obviously braless breasts.

As he was umming Laura padded in to the living room and grabbed a pack of lights, got a cigarette out and lit it.

“I will have what you are having” said Sean dodging the answer.

Laura inhaled “It will be wine” She exhaled “are you ok with that? “she inhaled “Driving and all?! She asked as she exhaled the smoke.

“Umm, I will walk home, it’s not far from here” he replied.

“That’s good, I won’t have let you drive!” she replied, followed by a cheek hollowing inhale.

“I won’t, I promise” Sean said as he watched in admiration of another of Laura’s large exhales. He had been watching them in the pub all evening.

“Goody” she replied as she went to get her hand bag.

Sean just had stare, it was difficult not to perv, at her large bum and thighs with a small tattoo on her thigh in the short yellow shorts as she bent over to pick up her hand bag. It was evident to him from across the room she had nothing on under those shorts. “Wow” he said to himself.

He could feel his cock twitching in his shorts. He gulped, had certainly become thirsty.

Laura missed the stares as she dangled her cigarette with the smoke in her eyes as bent over to pick up her hand bag and the new pack that escaped the bag as it had fallen on the floor, not really thinking that she had an audience, Laura was desperately trying not fall as she was bent over. Once she had retaken her balance she took the bag to the kitchen to put the wine and milk in the fridge.
She took out the half empty bottle from the fridge door, as it had been a School night she had been a good girl not to finish the bottle last night and poured the remaining contents in to the two large glasses, continuing to dangle her cigarette and slowly returned to lounge carefully carrying the wine.

Sean jumped up from the chair to take a wine glass from Laura as to help her. She gave Sean the slightly emptier wine glass carefully sat down on the sofa and curled up in to a ball, with a large inhale and subsequent exhale away from Sean’s seat, extinguishing that cigarette once she got settled.

“Cheers” she said as she leaned across the occasional table with smoke still drifting out of her mouth, to Sean on the other chair dinking the glasses together

“Cheers” Sean replied too.

“Thanks for giving me a lift home, and also thanks for coming in for a coffee” She attempted to joke holding up the wine it’s nice for the male company”

“It’s a great coffee” Sean replied sipping his wine “if a little chilled,”

Laura snorted and coughed at that “Ohh wine coffee, now that is an idea!” Joked Laura

“Yes, what a good idea coffee flavoured wine or wine flavoured coffee!” Sean thought out loud.

“Sorry, forgot to ask, can I offer you a cigarette?” Laura asked, offering her Marlboro lights pack covered in “Smoking Kills” to Sean.

“No, No thank you, I’ve managed to not try one for all these years, not going to change that now” he stated.

“You don’t mind if I do?” She said as she put the pack to her mouth, bit on the cigarette pulled it out and proceeded to light it.

“Erm, no!” He replied. As she exhaled her smoke “Just out of interest, and not being rude and prying, how many do you smoke a day?”

Laura inhaled “To be honest, I don’t count” she replied “think it would scare me” she said with her exhale. Think some would say too many, I smoke when I need one” she said thoughtfully. “I would probably say a good pack a day!” she said as a semi truthful answer.

“At 6th form I could only afford to smoke or drink” Sean said “I chose drinking, as not drinking but smoking would have been silly” he said with a gulp of his wine.

“Yes I can see that” Laura said as she did a couple of smoke rings up to the ceiling.

Sean just stared at her exhales. Laura had managed to notice that.

“You like those?” She asked with a large gulp of her wine and smile too.

“Erm” Sean replied “just fascinating I guess, I don’t normally see them being done” Sean flustered an answer. Whilst his cock moved within his boxers.

Laura carried on in silence with that cigarette doing smoke rings, followed by a couple of snap inhales. Laura could see that Sean had to readjust his cock in his shorts.

“Can I check that there is no boyfriend, about to storm in on us is there?” Asked Sean as he finished his wine, he had drunk that quicker than expected.

“No, silly,” Laura laughed, and then coughed “but I would have thought even there was, I think I could have a male colleague around for a drink?” She suggested, finishing her wine with a large swig too.

“Very true” replied Sean. Looking at Laura thinking that there is not a lot of imagination required to see her naked with her dark areolas and her erect nipples through the white vest top.

“Do you want some more wine?” asked Laura, looking at the two empty glasses “You are now definitely walking?”

Sean looked at Laura slightly bemused, thinking that she didn’t really need any more wine, but still replied “Oh yes please to the wine and I will definitely walk home now, but first I need to use your bathroom” he said.

“Help yourself the toilet is up the stairs and in front of you” Laura replied helpfully.

Laura lit another cigarette and she slowly got up, dangled the cigarette and picked up the empty glasses, she slowly got up to go to the kitchen. The wine on top of the G+Ts and cider was certainly starting to hit her. Sean followed her to the hallway with the stairs. He enjoyed seeing her shorts riding up her bum. “It’s up there” Laura said helpfully again as she turned left gently bouncing off the door frame clinking the glasses as she walked to the kitchen and the fridge.

“Thanks” as he tried to negotiate the stairs with his hard on.

Sean took a while go to the toilet, as he needed his erection to reduce a little bit, so took some time to look around the small bathroom, her pile of work clothes and bra crumpled on the floor by the shower was a surprizing site, it wasn't surprizing to notice the half empty cigarette pack balanced on the toilet cistern, he assumed left for emergencies along with the lighter, and all the normal girl hair sprays, shampoos and conditioning products. So he sat down on the toilet to wait and as had forgotten his mobile, still sitting on the armrest downstairs, he read the back of the shampoo bottle. By the time he had done his business it meant that Laura was back on the sofa with a fresh cigarette sipping her wine.

[bazzle]

Friday continues

“Cheers” she said with an exhale

“Cheers” he said and dinked the wine glasses and coughed himself as her cigarette smoke went up his nose.

“So, what were you meant to be leaving the evening early for?” Asked Laura, “rather than staying on with the lads?”

“It was nothing really, other than drinking cokes and orange juices all night does mean you feel bloated if you stay out too long. I enjoy watching the football, and then it’s time to come home”

“That’s good, just wanted to check you did not have to get home to the wife or something?” Laura enquired. Followed by one of her snap inhales.

“Oh no, I will be truthful, there is an ex-wife we divorced a few years ago” he replied “but there are no children as far as I am aware” badly joked Sean.

“Thank you for the honesty, I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t stopping you being somewhere more important?” stated Laura with exhale followed by a smile and an arched eyebrow at the attempt of a joke.

Sean was impressed at home much this girl could smoke and drink. He thought he probably now stank of cigarettes and was trying to withhold a cough, but he was enjoying her company. They chatted about work, life and searched for common histories for 20 odd minutes.

They had finished their glasses of wine. “There is more wine in the fridge, but I could murder a G+T if you fancied it?” Laura asked.

“Erm, yer,” replied Sean looking at his watch it was nearly 11, time had flown by. “Guess I could have another one” he thought out loud.

“Great, but first I need a piss!” exclaimed Laura.

“Oh ok, see you in a minute” replied Sean.

“Ah, I couldn’t be cheeky whilst you are here Sean, and ask a favour, could I?” Asked Laura focusing on being sober, she put her cigarette in the ashtray beside her.

“Of course!” replied Sean.

“Help me up!” she replied, “My legs are feeling like jelly after the wine!” She stated “I could probably get up by myself, but I think it would be a little un-lady like” she giggled.

Sean laughed and got up off the corner chair, grabbed both her hands and pulled her up towards him. They ended up in a hug her head resting on Sean’s chest with his arms stretched around her soft body with his hands on her lower back. He could smell the cigarette smoke and body spray, and quite liked it. His cock started bouncing again. He was rather tempted to squeeze her arse but thought better off it.

They took a step back looked at each other in the eyes “Thank you” said Laura smiling.

“No problem”, replied Sean “the pleasure is literally mine, kiss me” said Sean trying to pull her closer again.

"Yes and no" said Laura not trying to ruin the moment but still wobbling back a step "I do need to go for a piss first" she stated "and I don't think you would want me to make a puddle here, I wouldn’t care" she replied with a wink.

“Well” Sean thought, “It’s probably better that you go upstairs!”

With that she picked up her lit cigarette from the ashtray and wandered towards the living room door and the stairs. Sean got to watch the drunken arse with now both sides of her shorts squished up inside her backside like a thong wobble across to the stairs. Which subconsciously Laura clearly noticed and pulled her shorts out her bum crack as she reached the stairs.

Laura got up the stairs with the help of the hand rail and some effort. She had her pee. Dropped the cigarette in the toilet, flushed, she then washed her hands, and her teeth and rinsed with mouthwash in an attempt to taste better for Sean.

She straightened out he shorts she told her self not to grab and light that cigarette that she now wanted and headed carefully back down the stairs.

Sean met her at the bottom of the stairs, as he had been wandering around the living room like a spare part as she had gone upstairs.

They then kissed with her standing on the bottom step. He then let her down the final step holding her small of her back and let her walk in to the living room.

“Law, can I suggest something? ”He said licking his lips

“Yes” replied Laura

“Grab and light a cigarette!” Sean asked.

This confused Laura.

“Why?” Thought Laura, this stopping wasn’t helping her drunken happy horny feeling. “What have I done wrong?”

“Nothing Law, I want to kiss you, you as who you are!” replied Sean stroking the side of her face. “want to kiss the real you” he said as he gently kissed her currently minty lips.

---
Sean had helped her up the stairs after the last smoky gin powered passionate kissing session, and to the bathroom where she had only just dropped her shorts in time before falling on to the toilet seat and started peeing, he had then left her to have some privacy and sat on the stairs whilst she peed.

“I’m finished, if you are still there hunny?” shouted Laura, lighting a conveniently found cigarette as he came back to find her and the yellow shorts now on top of her pile of dumped work clothes, he helped the half-naked Laura to her bedroom. Where he helped pull of her vest top over her head, she fell in to him squeezing her large breasts against is chest. He gave her a big hug and kissed her forehead and finally squeezed her large buttocks, she wriggled closer. He then sat her down on the bed.

“If we set your alarm for 1045” being less romantic and more formal Sean said picking up the alarm clock from around the ashtray, “I can be here at 12 and pick you up and we could go for out for that coffee you asked me for earlier if you would like it?” He said as he kissed her smoky mouth again, and then straightened and then turned on the bedside lamp.

“Pick me up?” She asked, confused patting the bed beside her, with her cigarette bouncing in her hand ash falling on the bed, she then dangled the cigarette and tried to undo his shirt buttons’ but he gently patted her away.

Sean took the cigarette from her mouth, kissed her and put it back.

“Yes, I am going to leave you now to get some sleep, I will be back in the morning to see you, if you would like?” he asked. “As I will need to pick up the car” he added.

She nodded, stroked his stubbly face and removed the cigarette from her mouth momentarily to give him a smoky kiss him back.

And with that he did what he thought was the right thing in leaving, he got up and went to the bedroom door, flicked off the big light, and looked back at her from the open bedroom door to observe Laura gently illuminated from the bedside light behind her. She was drunkenly smiling at him with the orange glow from the dangled cigarette in her mouth, her large breasts hanging down with very erect nipples, her legs wide apart, her own long middle and index fingers were already working her hairy moist vagina. It looked like a very inviting proposition, but he turned and, rearranged what seemed to be the continuous hard on of the evening under his shorts belt, and went down the stairs leaving Laura on the bed alone, very drunk, and very horny. The front door closed gently locked on the latch as he left.

[bazzle]

Saturday and Sunday

Saturday
Laura was awake well before the alarm; she had woken up on top of the duvet practically in the same place Sean had left her. Yes, she had her weekend morning headache and yes she felt rotten, yes she had to cough her guts up, but there was certainly some positivity.

Laura was lying there in bed dangling her second morning cigarette playing with her nipples and crotch again “god I’m moist this morning” she said to herself sliding her index and middle finger further in arching her back slightly against her fingers. Laura was replaying last nights’ horny enjoyable dream in her head; she had confirmed most it was real when she found her yellow shorts and pile of work clothes on the floor of the bathroom on her way for her morning pee.

She had been, she thought, disappointed and sad when Sean left last night, but as she couldn’t remember falling asleep, she assumed she probably passed out soon after she made herself came. This morning she couldn’t be cross with him. Could she?

She was still playing with herself when the alarm went. I guess he is coming back this morning Laura thought. “I better get up and have a shower just in case” she said to no one. She extinguished the cigarette in the ashtray turning the alarm off and padded off to have her shower.

She lit her post shower cigarette and got dressed in one of her low cut white tops with white bra, and a short loose linen skirt. She again hadn’t bothered with knickers, it was far too hot.
She had sat down and had some breakfast with her coffee and another cigarette in preparation for Sean turning up in a few minutes.

Was he going to turn up? Was he annoyed that she was so drunk and left. Oh, so many questions she had whilst she sat there pensively smoking.

She finished her breakfast and then the post breakfast cigarette, and in the 10 or so minutes before he might arrive Laura tided up the living room, cleared the wine and gin glasses, emptied her living room ashtray. Sprayed a little air freshener she even remembered to pick up the blue bra from last Sunday that was on the floor and put it straight in the washing machine. She had only checked out her window only three or four times to see Sean’s black car was still parked outside her house, so he she thought he must be still coming to collect it.

She settled on the sofa to wait for him, turned the TV on to the news channel for background noise and lit another cigarette which Laura smoked it with the nervous in anticipation of a teenager. She picked up her phone as a distraction and messaged Zoe and Karen to say she was busy this afternoon, was unlikely to come out this evening.

“Sean?” replied Zoe.

“Maybe” she teased,

“obvious!” was Zoe’s reply.

Followed up a second later with “good luck and tell us the goss on Monday x”

“will do! x “

The doorbell went.

“Fuck” he has turned up Laura thought. Inhaling deeply on cigarette and exhaling a cone upwards to the ceiling, she coughed as she got up, putting the cigarette out in the clean ashtray beside her.
She quickly went to answer the door, she looked through the glass panel on the door it was Sean. She smiled to herself, she hadn’t scared him off. She straightened her clothes and opened the door. Sean still had his stubble but was in a fresh short sleeved shirt and tailored shorts.

“Hey Sean, come in” It’s good to see you again this morning” Laura said debating if she should go in for a kiss or not. Deciding to take a step back and let him in.

“Morning Laura “he smiled “Thanks for a really great evening last night” he said as walked past her touching and kindly squeezing her just above the hip and walked in to the living room.

“Are you sure?” Laura asked, “I think I may have been little bit tipsy, naked, and potentially rather forward last night?” she asked.

He smiled, took both her hands and pulled her closer. He then kissed her.

“Don’t be silly” he said once the kiss finished “it was wonderful we had a good chat” as he kissed her again “I thought it better to leave you, was that ok?”

Laura smiled back “yes” she said quietly “I think I passed out and fell asleep soon after you left” They hugged again silently “do you want the coffee you didn’t have last night?” Laura asked after a few seconds of hugging.

“Actually, I was thinking of taking you out for lunch, maybe a short walk around the reservoir afterwards?” He asked” Also probably then on for some ice cream or something as it’s going to be another bloody hot afternoon” he replied informatively.

“Great” she replied “Thank you” she said smiling, grabbing and then lighting a cigarette “could skip the walk after lunch” she said with her cone exhale “and go straight for the ice cream” she smiled.

“I think you will enjoy it Laura, it’s pretty up there”

“Okay” Laura smiled “as it’s you” and lifted herself up a bit on her toes, put her arms around his waist making sure her cigarette didn’t touch and kissed him on the lips.

---
It was just after 5 and Laura dangling her cigarette padded over and opened the fridge looked at the wine but removed the milk and topped up her coffee. She walked over to the sofa tucked her feet tucked up under skirt, had her cigarette in her left hand and a cup of coffee in her right.

Sean had dropped her off half an hour ago, they had gone via Tesco’s for her to get some cigarettes, and also for Sean to buy this evenings food and wine. He had asked her if he could cook them both tonight, they agreed that it was best that they eat at her place, as he had a rented flat, they had joked she would have spent the whole night on the front door step with her normal evening cigarette consumption.

He had gone home to drop the car off and get his toothbrush! He was going to be back by six to cook.

She had texted her mum to say she was absolutely fine and her phone would be on silent if she tried calling.

Laura was tired but happy after a great afternoon, the café he took her to, looked over the reservoir where they both had Paninis and cokes. She had let him take her for a walk around the reservoir, the first walk she had done that didn’t involve shopping for a long time. But as they had to stop to kiss like teenagers every five minutes they didn’t go very far between kiss breaks and her cigarette breaks the mile or, so circuit took them a while.

His hands hadn’t taken too long to discover she wasn’t wearing any underwear under her skirt, which meant that every opportunity they had, his fingers were modestly up at the higher end of her thigh or on at least on one of her arse cheeks. If there hadn’t of been so many people around, she would have jumped on him.

They had an ice cream and then paddled their feet to cool off in the reservoir on their return to café. For the first time in ages Laura felt relaxed and happy.

Laura finished her coffee and lit another cigarette, did a double inhale, exhaled her large cloud to the ceiling, ashed and then dangled her cigarette as she went to the kitchen to try and make sure it was clean enough for her visiting chef for the night.

---
“Oh my god” screamed Laura, digging her nails in to Sean’s shirtless back. Laura sitting there naked spread eagled on the sofa with her legs over Sean’s shoulders inhaling deeply on her dangled cigarette as Sean’s head was down between her thighs working his tongue working deep between her very her moist lips whilst one hand was tweaking her right nipple. “That is amazing” said Laura panting between cigarette inhales as Sean muffled something and carried on working his magic.

As Sean came up for air, taking a large swig on the nearly empty red wine glass on the occasional table, smiled and kissed up her over her belly and to her large breasts, nibbling on the very erect nipple on the way up to her mouth.

“Today has been amazing” Sean said to her between kisses. “Desert has just tasted amazing” licking his lips.

“Thank you it’s been great for me too” said Laura trying to get her breath back “but that comment is far too cheesy” she smiled.

Sean smiled, removed her cigarette from her mouth, stubbing it out in the ashtray for her as he kissed her, she nodded to Sean as a positive and his hard cock entered her, she groaned and then smiled.

----
Sunday

Laura woke up, after a few of hours sleep, opened one eye to see the sun light was creeping through the bedroom curtains. She opened both her eyes to find an asleep, gently snoring Sean rolled on his side away from her. Laura smiled, had her morning cough as quietly as she could and grabbed a cigarette and lit it.

As Sean was clearly staying asleep, Laura replayed yesterday’s fun in her head, the walk, ice cream; his Spag.-bol, which she had avoided spilling down her top, was divine.

The after-dinner sex on the sofa had been amazing and loving. It hadn’t taken long after he entered her to for him to cum. The twenty-four hours of anticipation had got to him she thought to herself gently stroking her sticky thatch and thighs below the duvet, it had certainly got to her.

Both of them had effectively downed their wine afterwards and had refilled as the heat had made the sex thirsty work, and for Laura she to rest get her unfit lungs some breath back, the first post coital cigarette in three years had certainly been enjoyable one thought Laura. As had been sitting on the sofa side by side, naked with their legs tangled together.

They had both come upstairs taking in turns in the bathroom, Laura had positioned herself on the bed in the similar place as the previous night, with her legs wide open gently playing with herself dangling a cigarette. This time Sean hadn’t left when he saw it, he walked through the door and climbed on top and into her. It had lasted longer and been extremely sensual she thought, stroking herself again. They had both had certainly fallen quickly and contentedly asleep afterwards.

She removed her fingers, exhaled towards the window, gently coughed, stubbed out her cigarette and rolled over to hug the sleeping Sean.
The End, or was it...

[bazzle]

Alternative ending

The Second version of the ending. I am looking at this as "railway junction" ideas, different decisions take different routes, they may end up in the same place, but the journey there is going to be different.

Thanks for spending the time reading my words

Baz

Friday
“You are a star” replied Laura, and as they drove off from Tescos “do you fancy coming in to mine for a coffee?” thinking that he would say no, and then panicking if the house was presentable.

“Sadly”, he said looking at his watch, “I need a relatively early night, and got to be at the cricket ground for 10 to help set up".

"Oh" said Laura disappointed "you could just come in for a coffee" she asked.

“Not this time Laura, I would love to, but not tonight" said Sean. “Please feel free to come up to the cricket club tomorrow, there is a bar, it’s meant to be sunny and it should be a good game!” said Sean trying to sell cricket.

"Oh, I hadn’t thought about that, thanks for the lift anyway" said Laura as she carefully got out of car, she lit her cigarette as soon as the car door was closed with a large inhale and walked towards her house in a clouded exhale, she did slightly bounce of the bonnet of the car on the way to her driveway, when she eventually got the key in the door, Sean tooted his horn and drove off.

Laura opened the door, and whilst dangling her cigarette she took out the wine and milk and dropped her bag on the floor, and walked to the fridge putting the wine and milk in. Laura got her wine glass and filled it up with the open one from last night, as she had been a good girl last night not to drink it all. She took a large slurp of the wine and refilled the glass with the bottle.

Dangling her cigarette, she stumbled in to the living room carrying both the bottle and the full wine glass, she balanced these on the occasional table and put the cigarette in the ashtray. It was 930 at night and was still hot so she dropped her skirt to the floor and lifted her top and bra over her head and threw them on to chair beside her, this knocking last week's blue bra on to the floor in to the process.

She flumped on to the sofa, picked up her cigarette, inhaled deeply, exhaled to the ceiling, took another large gulp of her wine and cried.

“Fucking hell you useless drunk women” Laura shouted and cried at the TV in frustration of Sean not coming in for the coffee. “I am sure her would have come in and fucked you weren’t so fucking drunk already” she told herself taking another sip of wine. “grrrrrrrrr” she put the cigarette out in the full ashtray, grabbing another one and lighting it straight away.

40 minutes later both wine bottle her cigarette pack were empty and bladder full. She slumped off the sofa on to the floor and crawled and coughed her way across the living room to her hand bag at the bottom of the stairs and retrieved the one of the new cigarette packs that had fallen out.

“ahh good bag” she said to the bag patting it for having her cigarettes, and she fished out a lighter and lit the cigarette from the new pack whilst sitting cross legged naked in the hallway.

She sat there and finished the cigarette, she chain lit a new cigarette and noted still needed to pee, so crawled in to the kitchen and used the kitchen chairs to get up whilst dangling the cigarette. She opened the fridge to get the last bottle of wine from the fridge, opened it and took it with her. Battling with the back door dangling her cigarette and holding her wine bottle, she got it open with pee tricking down her legs.

She sat down on the backdoor step took a large gulp from the wine bottle swallowed and inhaled deeply on the dangled cigarette her orange ball rising in the semi darkness with the inhale, as the piss gushed out below from between her legs.

With the stream between her legs subdued she sat there swigging from the bottle, trying to think what to do next. She had been so close to Sean, until he said no, she cried again.

Saturday

Laura woke up with a hacking cough; it was still dark so keeping her eyes closed she instinctively went to reach for the bedside table cigarettes, knocking the half full bottle of wine over with a clatter on the back-door step in the process. She opened both eyes righted the wine bottle as soon as possible. She was sitting naked and cold above a puddle of piss and wine, coughing her lungs up.

Her eyes adjusting to her location, the cigarette pack and lighter were located to her left, had clearly fallen off the step but at least slightly out of reach of the piss puddle and were luckily dry.

“That was clever of me” Laura said as she lit up, deeply inhaled and gingerly got up from the back doorstep. She slipped a couple of times on the puddle inside the backdoor but grabbing on to the door frame she got herself back in to the house with a combination of dangling the cigarette and holding on dearly to the wine bottle and her cigarette pack.

Once in the kitchen she leaned against the sink and used a dishcloth to wipe and clean her bottom and legs and threw it at the washing machine. It bounced on to the front of the closed washing machine door and on the floor. So, she proceeded to use her feet on it wipe it around the piss puddle in the area by the back door, leaving the filthy damp cloth where it was.

“Close” she said inhaling deeply on the cigarette. Laura exhaled and then took a swig out of the wine bottle and it didn’t make her feel any better, so she opened the fridge door and put the bottle in for later.

She padded up the stairs smoking her cigarette, got to the bathroom, sat on the toilet and peed. She dropped the finished dropping the cigarette between her legs, it bounced filter side down on the outside of her thigh and on to the floor “oh” was her only response leaving the butt where it fell. Laura wiped, and then flushed. She gargled a bit of mouthwash and then waddled to her bedroom, fell in to bed and tried to get to sleep for a second time.

----
Lying in bed, the alarm clock said 11:21. Laura had the third morning cigarette going trying to find the will to get up. She couldn’t really find it.

She thought about potentially going to find Sean up at the cricket club, as she inhaled. He had invited her, but as she didn’t know anyone, she was worried she would be sitting on the boundary with no clue as to what was going on. He had said there was a bar… Laura was trying to work out if she had the confidence or will to achieve that.

“Fuck it, I need a coffee and some paracetamol” Laura said to no one.

She swung her legs out from under the duvet and slowly got up, picked up and struggled to put on some short pyjama shorts from the floor along with a vest top and headed downstairs in a cloud of exhaled smoke.

Once downstairs she found her dead mobile on the sofa, she fell on to the sofa and plugged the phone in to the charger cable which had fallen down the side, as it came to life he was disappointed to find no messages from anyone. She lit a cigarette and inhaled deeply and stared at the ceiling watching her own exhale dissipate in to the light shade in the centre of the room.

“Fuck, coffee!” Laura said to no one.

She shuffled off the sofa and got up and waddled to the kitchen dangling a cigarette as she went.

She got her coffee machine to whirr and sat in the kitchen waiting for it.

“Fuck the cloth” she said out loud to no one. She got up and carefully picked up the very damp and pungent smelling dish cloth on the floor beside her and put it in the washing machine next to the fridge. She dug out the paracetamol from the draw, retrieved her coffee mug from the machine, swallowed a couple of the tablets and lit a fresh cigarette using the embers of her last one stubbing it out in the astray in the kitchen.

Laura headed for the sofa and her phone carrying her coffee and dangling the cigarette. She picked up her phone.

“Hey Sean, I know your busy, but could I come up and see you and watch the cricket? Lx” she typed, her fingers hovered over the send button. She inhaled deeply, exhaled up to the ceiling and hit send.

She sat there and looked at the phone. There was no response. “Oh, he is clearly busy” she said to no one.

She finished the dregs of coffee, extinguished the cigarette in the ashtray and lit another cigarette, coughed and then padded in to the kitchen to get another coffee.

Laura came back to the sofa with her notification on her phone.

“Yup cool, game starts at 1, bar open 1230, finish ~7ish S”

Laura sat there, knees tucked up under her chin dangling her cigarette ash falling on her knees whilst she hugged her legs thinking. She grabbed her phone.

“Cool, will be up after lunch Lx” she replied.

With that she padded back to the fridge and opened the door, it was empty of food again. “Bollocks” she said to herself. She sat on the kitchen chair and smoked the cigarette, thinking what to do next.

She put the cigarette out in the ashtray, took a fresh one from the pack on the kitchen table, lit it and climbed up the stairs and went to have a shower.

[bazzle]

Continued

Laura smoked and walked down the street to little Tesco’s wearing a flowery short summer dress, it was sunny and hot and she needed to get a sandwich and some more cigarettes; she flicked her current cigarette in to the little trolley park watching it fall between the trolleys like a pin ball before hitting the ground.

She went and bought a bottle of vodka, a triple pack sandwich, a large tub of Pringles, a bottle of coke, paracetamol and as it was the weekend three of packs of Marlboro lights.

“A party for One” Laura said to the checkout girl at the tobacco counter, attempting humour at the purchases in front of her.

“Have a fun day, wish I could join you!” the checkout girl replied.

“I am sure it will be, honestly though, as I am going to watch the cricket I think you will have more fun in here!” said Laura as she put the goodies in her handbag and walked out of the store lighting a cigarette as soon as she was free of the doors.

She took three large swigs from the coke bottle as walked back up to outside her house to wait for the taxi. It was hot and she was thirsty, Laura then opened the vodka bottle and refiled the coke bottle to the top took a swig and refilled with the vodka again. She closed the lids on both bottles, putting them back in her bag.

Her taxi arrived, and she had a deep inhale, exhaled away from the car, stubbed the cigarette out on the floor with her flats, and got in the taxi.

She had the sandwich in the back of the taxi and some of the Pringles on the way to the ground. Checking her phone for any messages, there were none. She messaged her Zoe and Karen Whatsapp group to say that she was attempting to go and watch Sean play cricket.

“Do you know the rules?” replied Zoe

“Nope, thinking Wiki and wine might help!” Laura messaged back

“Sounds like a plan, good luck! Zx” replied Zoe

“Thanks, I think I will need it! Lx” Replied Laura.

Laura paid the taxi driver the money owed and lit her cigarette and slowly walked towards the cricket ground. It was a village style cricket club, so it was free entry. Laura could see the game was in progress and there was a small group of spectators and players drinking, smoking and sunning themselves outside the clubhouse. As expected, Laura didn’t recognise anyone. She assumed Sean was out in the field somewhere.

Various people nodded and waved at Laura as she shuffled past them and sat down just beyond the clubhouse on the grass whilst dangling her cigarette. It certainly was a suntrap next to the clubhouse she thought enjoying in the warm sunshine. She opened the bottle of coke and took a couple of large swigs and felt a lot better.

She then focused on the field, it was difficult to spot Sean, as everyone was wearing white and caps, but eventually she found him as he ran after the ball which had come towards her.

Sean threw the ball back to the middle of the field smiled and waved at Laura. Laura smiled and waved back and took a large swig of the coke bottle nearly emptying it. Lit another cigarette, put her head on her hand bag closed her eyes and relaxed inhaling on her cigarette and exhaling her smoke up and away in to the bright blue sky listening to the chatter of the crowd and the occasional knocking noise followed by a cheer from the players and crowd around her.

----

She woke up to need to pee, Laura kept her eyes closed pulled her dress away from her bum and peed. She just hoped no one could tell, but really, she couldn’t care, she wiggled her bum once finished and fell back to sleep.

She awoke again the clapping and the players walking towards the clubhouse. It took a couple of seconds to realise where she was, Laura had been asleep for an hour or so the players were coming in for tea. She fished a cigarette and her lighter out her bag and lit the cigarette with a double pump.

Sean squatted down beside her, waving her exhale away from his face.

“Sorry Sean didn’t see you coming” said Laura apologetically waving the smoke away with the cigarette in her hand, adding to the smoke in his face in the process.

“Hey, no problem Law, thanks for coming up to say hello!” Sean said.

“its fine, I didn’t have any plans, so thought I could come and stalk you!” She smiled

“Well you’ve achieved that! Did you see my catch?” He asked

“I would be lying to you if I said yes, I have been fast asleep!” she replied mawkishly

“Its fine, I would be asleep too, if I didn’t have to run around in this heat after the ball, it was a good catch though!” replied Sean as he affectionately squeezed her shoulder. “So Law, I need to eat with the guys, and then it’s our turn to bat, I’m middle order so should in theory be able to sit with you for a bit!”

“Great” replied Laura, “enjoy your ‘tea’ and if you can smuggle me a sausage roll, I will appreciate it!” she smiled

“I will see what I can do” said Sean, as he got up and walked in the club house with his team mates.

Laura continued to lie there smoking; she fished out the bottle of coke from her bag and drank the rest of it. She got up finished her cigarette and went to the bar to see what drinks they had.

She sat down on the white plastic garden chair just outside the club house with a large glass of wine and a fresh cigarette.

“Hey Law, here is your sausage roll I’ve smuggled out for you” said Sean, handing her a plate with a couple of sandwiches, sausage rolls and a large slice of cake.

“Oh, you are a star” replied Laura smiling at Sean taking the plate from him.

“It’s ok, I appreciate having a supporter coming to watch or at least sleep through me playing!” joked Sean.

“It’s been nice and relaxing up here to be honest hunny” replied Laura, inhaling on her cigarette, and then waving the exhale away from Sean, then taking a bite of the sandwich.

“Glad to hear it, Law, let me grab a chair and I will come and sit with you until I am needed to bat” replied Sean

----

Sean trudged back to the club house with his bat under his arm and helmet in his hands, Laura put down her nearly empty second glass of wine and attempted to get up from the chair, knocking it backwards narrowly missing the wine glass to give him a hug. To several sarcastic cheers from the crowd around her, Laura put her hand up to acknowledge it.

“Hey hunny was that good?” Asked Laura with her arms out wide as Sean got closer,

“Not really Law, I only got 10 runs!” a depressed Sean responded allowing himself to be hugged “watch out I’m really quite sweaty”

“Oh, yes I see what you mean” she smiled wiping her hands on her dress “however the batting looked good from here, I was even awake this time!” replied Laura in a happy tipsy fashion.

“Thanks Law, let me get out of this sweaty gear, grab a beer and then I can think about getting home” replied Sean.

“No problem, I will find my chair as it ran away from me, and finish my wine” replied Laura concentrating on her words.

“I will be 5 or so minutes” said Sean, whilst Laura tottered around and picked up the plastic chair, told it off and sat down,

“Cool I will be here!” said Laura lighting another cigarette and pulled deeply on it whilst she waited for Sean to return from the changing room.

Sean returned 10 minutes later with a can of beer and another glass of wine for Laura in his hands, “Hey Law, thought you might have finished the wine, here you go”

“Oh thanks hunny, muchly appreci... thanks” replied Laura, taking the wine and noticing she couldn’t quite get the right words out now.

“Don’t worry I am only going to have one pint of this ‘cats piss’ weak lager, and then I can drive us both home!”

“Thanks you!” she replied sipping her wine followed by a deep inhale on her cigarette.

They watched the game come to an end, Sean’s team had lost so the mood in the club house was slightly grumpy, but the visiting team and their supporters cheering and clapping.

Sean finishing his can “right Law, I will go and pay my subs, then get my cricket bag in the car and then come and get you” said Sean, aware that Laura may not be as steady on her feet as she could be.

“Thanks sweetie” said Laura with an exhale. “I will need to find the ladies again before we go anywhere!” Thinking she hadn’t found them in the first place as she just been using the grass all afternoon.

“It’s in the corner next to the bar!” replied Sean.

“Oh yes” replied Laura, dropping her cigarette and stubbing it out on the floor with her shoes. She finished her wine, picked up her hand bag and slowly got up, keeping the chair upright and meandered towards the bar and the toilets.

The cubicle was empty, and she could just hoick her dress up, sit down, and pee, she dug her phone out of her bag and checked for messages.

She texted her mum

“Out, happy, ok lx”

Put her phone back in her bag, saw and thought about the bottle vodka next to her phone, but left it there.

She got out of the toilets and back outside to see Sean walking back from the carpark. He came up to her, put his hand around her waist and helped her walk back to the car. Once at the car she leaned against the car, lit her cigarette “just a minute” she said as subsequently inhaled deeply.

“Law, just get in!” replied Sean

“Are you sure?” asked Laura with her exhale,

“Yes- we will open the windows” replied Sean.

Laura opened the door, Sean helped her with the seat belt as she he held her cigarette out the window; she did notice him looking at her breasts again.

“So Law, do you need little Tesco’s before I drop you home?” Asked Sean

“Nope, I’ve got milk, and I think I am all good for ciggies” replied Laura exhaling out the window.

“Cool! Can take you straight home then” replied Sean looking at her skirt ridding up her legs as she exaggerated rotating her body to the window to exhale.

“Can I invite you in for coffee this evening? Think I might actually need one myself!” giggled Laura.

“I will come in Laura, but it will only be a coffee” replied Sean,

“That will be fine replied Laura” quiet happy for the company.

Laura flicked the cigarette out the window and lifted the button for the window to come up.

They pulled up outside Laura’s house; she lit her cigarette as soon as she tumbled out the car and had straightened herself out, inhaled deeply and then walked towards the driveway bouncing off the bonnet as she stepped around the front of car, Sean followed in her cloud of exhaled smoke.

Laura dangled the cigarette whilst she fished for the keys at the bottom of the bag; she eventually retrieved and opened the door.

She walked towards the kitchen “Sean, what do you want to drink?” Digging the vodka bottle out of the bag and putting it in the fridge.

“Umm, what are you planning on having?” asked Sean in the door way to the kitchen looking at Laura peering into the fridge with the cigarette in her mouth.

“I was thinking of some wine!” replied Laura holding the wine bottle in her hand.

“I could have a glass with you and walk home” said Sean, thinking out loud.

“Goody” said Laura as she carefully poured two glasses of wine, she slowly turned and waddled towards Sean carefully carrying the wine. “Do you fancy a Chinese or Pizza, I’m starving, and I am sure you are too?”

“Well, yes I can do” replied Sean

“Great, pizza, as they deliver, and I can’t face trying to walk up to the Chinese now.” stated Laura,

“Ok cool” replied Sean as he watched Laura carefully sway in to the living room carrying her wine and inhaling on her dangled cigarette and the orange ball on the end bounce up and down in the process. Sean thought it would take her a while in this state to walk up and back from the Chinese anyway.

Laura, sat on the edge of the sofa, pointed at the corner chair for Sean to sit in, he picked up the pile of clothes that were strewn on the chair and put them on the floor as Laura fished her phone out of her handbag and tried to focus on the screen “I’m gunna have a large peperoni with extra peperoni with some wedges, what do you fancy hunny?” asked Laura.

“Oh a large meat feast will be fine for me!” answered Sean sitting in the chair and watching Laura drunkenly focus on her phone in her cloud of dangled cigarette smoke.

“Great, it’s on its way!” replied Laura, putting the phone on the armrest of the sofa, inhaling deeply on the cigarette and extinguishing it on the ashtray beside her.

“Shall I give you some money?” Ask Sean going for his wallet in his shorts

“Nah call it the taxi home safe money” replied Laura lighting another cigarette inhaling and directing the exhale away from Sean, she then took a swig of wine.

“Just out of interest how many of those do you smoke a day?” asked Sean

“To be truthful, too many!” replied Laura exhaling “I don’t count, otherwise it would scare me, I smoke when I feel like it and when I can, a good pack a day” was her semi truthful answer “all I know is I am forever in Tesco’s buying more!” she stated followed by a large inhale “Can I offer you one?” Laura offered the pack to Sean as she exhaled away from him.

“No, no I have managed to avoid smoking all my life, and I am not going to change that now!” replied Sean “I could only afford to either drink or smoke as a teenager and chose drinking” stated Sean having a large sip of wine.

“I can totally understand, the girls I hung around as a young teenager all smoked and drank, so I did too” replied Laura with a thoughtful inhale. Bringing her knees up to her chest as she exhaled and then coughed, unintentionally showing to Sean her dark mousey brown thatch under her skirt.

Sean took a long look and a large gulp of his wine then tried to keep his eyes up to her pretty face.

“Teenage peer pressure is a difficult one to deal with” replied Sean once he had regained his composure.

“Yup, and it got me hook line and sinker” said Laura with a cheek hollowing inhale on the cigarette, and as she exhaled dropping her legs back to the floor.

Laura’s phone buzzed.

“Ah pizza is cooking, it will soon be out for delivery” stated Laura,

“Cool, I’m a starving!” stated Sean.

“I better go for a piss and top our wine glasses up” she said smoke billowing out of her mouth as tried to organise herself and Sean placing the cigarette in the ashtray.

“I will go for a pee after you” replied Sean trying to be courteous.

“You couldn’t help me up?” Asked Laura,” my legs feel a bit like jelly after the drinks”

“Of course,” said Sean getting up of the chair and offering his hands to Laura. He pulled her up and they ended up in a hug, with his arm around her soft body and his hands in her lower back. Sean could smell the cigarette smoke in her hair.

“Oh, I don’t mind a hug, and it’s nice” smiled Laura, “but don’t squeeze me too much hunny” Laura wiggled “you will make me pee here, unless you want me to” Laura smiled naughtily.

“Ah, we won’t want that!” replied Sean releasing his hands, “better let you go upstairs”

Laura toddled over to the occasional table, grabbed the cigarette in the ashtray, inhaled, coughed and headed for the stairs. “Will be back in a bit” stated Laura as she exhaled and shuffled off in her usual cloud of smoke, rebounding off the door frame as she didn’t quite get her trajectory right.

Sean sat back down in the chair to work out what the hell was going on. He was sitting in a house with his fat-chainsmoking-alcoholic-exhibitionist colleague who he somehow found attractive. He got out his phone to check his social media whilst she was upstairs.

Laura got up the stairs carefully and made for the bathroom balanced the cigarette on the sink and fought her elbows to get her dress over her head and took off her bra and threw both of them at shower, sat down, grabbed her cigarette and inhaled deeply and peed.

After finishing up she padded in to the bedroom, picked up her loose short pyjama shorts and vest top from earlier on the floor, put the cigarette in the ashtray and flumped on the bed in an attempt to get dressed again.

After ten minutes or so Sean was sitting there in the living room wondering where she had gone, the pizza was due to arrive any second now as her phone had buzzed a couple of times. He had heard her walk from the bathroom to the bedroom on the floorboards and now it had gone quiet.

With that the doorbell rang, Sean went to answer it, it was the pizzas, Sean gave the delivery guy a tip and accepted the food and took it through to the kitchen.

“Laura, the pizzas are here” he shouted up the stairs, to no response, “Laura, pizza!” he shouted again.

He proceeded to go up the stairs, checked in the bathroom; she wasn’t there but a pile of her clothes were, went for a pee himself. Once he had flushed, he then looked in the bedroom and firstly enjoyed the view and secondly was a tad embarrassed, as Laura was naked spread eagled on her back her large breasts like blancmange with a large cherry in the middle hanging either side of her body, her clothes scrunched up in her right hand, and she was fast asleep.

Sean picked up the pink dressing gown on the chair beside the bed and put it over her, to give her some modesty whilst he spoke to her.

“Hey Laura, the pizzas are here!” Sean said gently shaking her shoulder.

Laura rolled on to her side and coughed hard several times “eh” she said after swallowing her phlegm and lung gunk.

“Hey Laura, the pizzas are here” Sean repeated himself.

Laura rolled on to her back and sat up holding her dressing gown on her chest for modesty “Oh fuck, sorry” replied Laura, looking for a new cigarette and grabbing the empty pack on the bed side table and tutting, “I must have sat down on the bed to get dressed and just fallen asleep” She said meekly.

“It’s ok Law, I will go down stairs and let you get dressed and I shall see you in a minute!” replied Sean helpfully.

“I will put on the dressing gown on and be down hunny, thanks for waking me up!” said Laura smiling.

“It’s ok, I am starving, and pizzas smell nice!” replied Sean, “shall I boil the kettle?” he asked as he got to the door.

“Nah, I’ve had my nap, I am ready to go again!” smiled Laura, trying to be bright and breezy as Sean left to go down stairs.

Laura got the dressing gown on and padded to the bathroom to hunt for a cigarette, found a pack on the window sill and lit the cigarette, inhaled deeply and exhaled whilst holding the wall for support and headed down the stairs on her way to find her pizza.
Laura filled up both their wine glasses, Sean thought unwisely, and both sat in the kitchen eating their pizza.

“I’m sorry to fall asleep like that Sean” said Law after a mouthful of pizza.

“It’s ok, I was concerned as it had gone quiet up there!” replied Sean, “at least it was just asleep rather than anything more concerning!”

“Good point!” replied Laura picking at wedge.

“I was worried you had fallen over and hurt yourself or something” said a concerned Sean

Laura slapped her thigh saying “I wouldn’t worry I have enough cushioning I tend to bounce” she said.

They both laughed.

[bazzle]

Continued

Laura lit her second post pizza cigarette sitting back on her seat on the sofa, she felt full, drunk, tired, horny, but happy.

“I think I ought to go and leave you and let you sleep” said Sean,

“Oh, are you sure?” said Laura attempting seductive, but sounding confused.

“I have had a good evening with you, but I think we are both relaxed and you are definitely tired” he said.

“I’ve had a good day stalking you” Laura smiled, and then had a pull on her cigarette, as she exhaled she tugged her dressing gown down her breast a bit “I enjoyed sleeping in the sun during the cricket this afternoon”.

“We are at home again next week, so you can feel free to come up and watch again!” suggested Sean noticing her breasts coming loose from the dressing gown.

“Oh you play every weekend?” Ask Laura, stretching for her wine glass, enabling her breast to drop out of the gown.

“When I get picked and when it’s not raining!” replied Sean trying desperately not to stare at the dangling breast, so took a swig of wine instead.

“So, I have to do a rain dance this week to see you at the weekend?” Asked Laura followed by an attempt to dance on the seat, whilst inhaling her cigarette, which ended in a cough.

“Well, yes, or I say I’m not available, as I have something far more important to do!” suggested Sean mesmerised by her free breast bouncing around whilst she drunkenly attempted a sitting ‘rain dance’ on the sofa, followed by a large coughing fit.

“Oh” said Laura getting her breath back “what does one need to do to be more important than cricket?” she flirted, followed by inhaling on her cigarette.

“Erm, not sure” replied Sean, “maybe we can come up with something tomorrow?” Asked Sean watching Laura’s exhale go to the ceiling. He finished his wine and got up from the sofa.

“Oh, you are actually going to go home?” asked Laura followed by a deep inhale.

“Well, I will go to the toilet first, and then yes, I think it best that I do” said Sean again watching the exhale to keep his eyes away from her inviting naked thatch showing between the opened flaps of her dressing gown in front of him.

“Give me two minutes, and I will be right back!” said Sean heading for the stairs; Laura had a large final inhale and exhale of the current cigarette, extinguishing it in the very full ashtray beside her. Finished her wine by wiping her face with the back of her hand and tried to get up off the sofa ending up sitting cross legged on the floor next to the sofa with her dressing gown on her like a cape.

She leaned behind, grabbed another cigarette, lit it, coughed heavily and waited for Sean to come back down the stairs.

---

“Hey Law, are you comfortable down there?” Asked Sean as he came back down the stairs.

“LOL, I didn’t quite get to the upright standing position I was aiming for” Laura said followed by a drunken giggle.

“Shall I help you up or are you staying there for the night?” asked Sean

“Please, I need to go for piss too!” replied Laura smiling looking up at Sean, she put the cigarette in her mouth, and offered both hands. Sean pulled her up back on the sofa, and then took the cigarette out of her mouth and gingerly held it and put it in the ashtray.

“Oh” said Laura looking at her cigarette burning in the ashtray as residue smoke came out of her mouth and nose.

“Give me your hands again, please?” asked Sean

Laura held out her hands and was pulled up into a hug with Sean he kissed the smoky hair, then steered her towards the living room door and tried his best to help her up the stairs. He manoeuvred her in to the bathroom where she dropped her dressing gown on the floor on top of the dress from earlier and waddled naked to the toilet where she stumbled around and flumped down on the seat, coughed loudly, farted, smiled and giggled naughtily at Sean, Laura started peeing as Sean made a quick exit to the landing.

Sunday

“Oh hell, I’m late for work” said Laura after a couple of large coughs. Sitting upright in bed, “am I? or is it still only Sunday, Oh fuck my head” Laura said to no one.

Laura reached across for a cigarette to find the bedside table devoid of a pack. “Fuck, must have left them downstairs last night” she said out loud to no one. She gingerly got out of bed and stumbled naked to the bathroom on the hope of finding a cigarette.

Sat on the toilet and lit up, had a double pump inhale and relaxed as she exhaled through her nose and waited for the bathroom to stop slowly spinning and her stomach to settle down.

With the stray butt picked up off the floor and the toilet flushed Laura dangled her cigarette as retrieved her dressing gown from the floor by the shower and went downstairs to find a coffee in her cloud of smoke.

As she was sitting having her coffee and second morning cigarette the doorbell went. Laura stubbed the cigarette out and padded over to the door and tightened her dressing gown around her waist. Looking through the window on the door she could see it was Sean, and relaxed.

Laura opened the door and smiled, to unsmiling Sean. “Hey Sean, good morning?” Laura asked, “Come in, and I will get you a coffee!” she stated.

“Oh, that would be great” said Sean.

“Milk, Sugar?” she asked as they got in the kitchen.

“Just milk” replied Sean.

“Coming right up” she replied “have a seat” Laura said pointing in the direction of the kitchen table with her elbow and got the coffee machine to whirr again.

“I didn’t know if you would be cross about me leaving you last night?” Sean asked as he sat down, pushing the full stinking ashtray away from him with his fingertips.

“Nope, can’t really remember the end of last night” Laura pondered and then coughed “when did you leave?” she asked.

Sean smiled took a sip of his coffee “After struggling to get you in to bed!” he stated. “Trying to get a drunken, sleepy, naked Laura in to bed is not an easy task!”

“Oh, I’m sorry” Laura said “was I not being helpful?” then sipping on her coffee and then fiddling with a cigarette in its pack and then extracting and lighting it.

“It’s ok, you were rather drunk, and I thought it wise to leave you be” he stated, “and to be honest, I wasn’t sure you would be awake now!” Sean said then had a sip of his coffee “but I wanted to see you this morning” he smiled at her.

“I don’t think I should be awake” Laura said followed by an inhale “but I needed to get up for a pee and I needed a coffee this morning” she said with her exhale.

“You can certainly drink girl!” said Sean “You drank almost solidly from leaving work!” he joshed with her.

“Guilty as charged officer” replied Laura with a cough “I know it’s not good for me, but I get carried away, it makes me happy and I can just bumble along out of work and be free” said Laura

“To be serious Law, we might have to talk about the drinking” Sean said sternly.

“Oh” replied Laura taking a deep inhale “I know I drink a little too heavily” she replied factually. “With your help, maybe I can reduce a little?” she asked

“I can try, but it will need your willing too Law” he said firmly.

“Oh” She said deeply inhaling on her cigarette “I guess so!” she said with the exhale.

“I might be able to cope with a beautiful ‘smoke breathing dragon’ being my girlfriend” Sean said using his fingers for the quotation marks whilst watching her latest exhaled cone go up to the ceiling and disperse around the kitchen light fitting “but I don’t really want to have to steer a girlfriend to bed with me every night or have that girlfriend forget what we may or may not have done in bed that night” he stated.

“Dragon?” she asked smiling.

“Ok, you maybe not a dragon, unless you can’t find your cigarettes?” he replied jokingly.

“But girlfriend?” asked Laura manicuring her cigarette in the ashtray, then taking a large gulp of her coffee,

“If you will be?” asked Sean

The End or was it?

[bazzle]

Ending version 3

Ending option number 3

Friday

“Hiya Law, are you ready to go?” Sean asked

“Yup all ready” she replied with her drunken smile “The girls are coming back with me is that is ok?”

“Oh” said Sean “Of course, there is plenty of room!”

With various jokey wolf whistles from their colleagues Laura, Zoe and Karen slowly followed Sean out of the beer garden and through the throngs of people at the bar and to Sean’s little black Clio.

The three ladies stopped and leaned against the car for support “Can I light and smoke this before we go?” asked Laura holding up a cigarette” I don’t think we want to get your car smelling of our smoke” being considerate that Sean is a non-smoker.

“Sure” said Sean, watching the three girls light up “let me open the windows and cool this car down, it’s going to be boiling” as he got in the car and started it up, opened the front two windows and got the air conditioning going.

“Thanks Sean” The ladies said in unison smoke billowing out of their mouths, shuffling their bottoms and their cigarette smoke away from the now open passenger side door window. It was a three-door car, so the back windows had to be flipped open from inside.

“Sod it girls, get in, we can keep windows are open” replied Sean from within the car looking through the now open passenger side window from the driver’s side seat.

“Zoe you are the smallest you should squeeze in the back” said Laura “Kaz, do you want the back or the front?” She asked Karen.

“I will get in the back with Zoe” replied Karen winking at Zoe.

The two girls negotiated getting in the passenger side door and in to the back without falling on each other.

They all helped each other get their seatbelts on with a little difficulty and then Sean drove off with cigarettes and clouds of smoke coming out of three of the windows.

Laura sat with her legs wider than normal apart; Sean had the air con set to feet blower as well in the face, which meant a nice cooling breeze was flowing up her skirt. This did mean that every time Sean got to a traffic light he knocked her knee with the back of his hand moving the gearstick from 1st to 2nd.

Laura was enjoying both sensations and chatting to girls, it was probably due to the couple of pints of cider and three double G+Ts and this heat she thought. All three girls finished their cigarettes and almost simultaneously flicked them out their windows. As Laura lifted the button for her window to go up, the girls in the back closed theirs.

Once the window was closed Sean started to enjoy the different wafts of their different perfumes, with added cigarette aroma and alcohol as cars blower moved the air around, he was a lifelong, anti-smoker, but for some strange reason didn’t mind that smell coming from them.

As they got closer to Laura’s house, Laura asked the group “Do you think we should go via little Tescos at the end of my road?” she asked, “As I have almost run out ciggies” she explained looking in her hand bag for effect ”and I think we need some more supplies”

“Oh yes that would be good idea!” Replied Zoe

“Yup sounds good to me” replied Karen

“Yer of course Law, it’s on the way” replied Sean

Sean pulled up on to the curb by Tescos. It took a few minutes for the girls to extract themselves from the car. It meant that Sean got a good look at Zoe’s evidently thonged arse as she squeezed past the passenger side chair showing the pink thong through her white linen skirt.

The girls spent a good 15 minutes in the shop, which was quick considering their state. They did detour via the chiller for a couple of bottles of white wine each, some milk and then went to tobacco counter for couple of packs of cigarettes each, Laura herself bought three.

The girls hand bags clanked their way out of Tesco, carrying their beloved cigarette packs in their hands.

“Thanks for waiting for us hunny” Laura said once the girls were all back in car “It does mean I don’t have to walk back down here in the morning” she said holding the pack for effect.

“No problem, the pleasure has been all mine” replied Sean smiling at the thought of three pretty girls in the car.

“You are a star” replied Laura, and as they drove off “do you fancy coming in to mine joining us girls for a drink?” thinking he might enjoy having the harem of drunken girls for the evening.

“Sadly Law, I’ve got to get up early in the morning to cricket club, otherwise I would be there like a shot” he replied.

“Oh, that’s cool have fun tomorrow” she said as retrieved a cigarette and her lighter from the bag on her lap and held on to both for safety. ”Us girls will have our own fun wont we!”

“Hell yer” was the response from the back.

“You are all more than welcome to come up and watch me play tomorrow, it’s meant to be sunny and there is bar!” Sean said trying to sell cricket.

“We shall see!” said Laura getting out of the car “Thanks for the lift!”

As was a natural reaction as soon as the three girls got out of the car, they all lit up their cigarettes with a cheek hollowing inhale and a large exhale, as Laura walked around the front of the car she slightly bounced off the bonnet and down the path to open her front door with the two girls following in their own cloud of smoke.

"So girls, who wants a drink?" Asked Laura. Making a beeline to the kitchen to open and pour the drinks, "Wine or shall we go for the vodka?" She asked.

"I'm thinking wine first off” replied Karen.

"Sounds good" said Zoe

Laura dangled her current cigarette and carefully emptied the first bottle and unsteadily poured it to three glasses, spilling a bit on her hand, she passed the glasses to the girls with the cigarette in her wineglass hand, she licked the split wine off her fingers.

"Cheers" she said, as all three girls clicked glasses “Bottoms up” and slugged back the wine,

“As it’s so bloody hot, shall we sit outside on the patio?” Asked Laura

"Ah the advantage of being at your place!" replied Zoe thinking about her 1st floor flat.

"Yup!” Laura said, and she waddled over dangling her cigarette to try to unlock and open the back door only find it unlocked again “oops” she said under her breath and she opened the door, grabbed her wine glass from the table and headed out the door on to the patio.
The girls followed her outside.

“Law, you are so lucky to own your own place like this, with its one patio area” said Karen as all three meandered towards to the chairs.

“Thanks, Kaz, but as you know, it’s only because of my dad” Laura said taking a deep inhale on her cigarette.

“Oh yer” replied Karan, “but at least this place is a positive out of that” she said trying to be confident.

They sat down on the slightly uncomfortable green plastic furniture, put their glasses and packs on the table and chatted.

“I still can’t get my head around it being nearly 10 and still light and hot” said Zoe followed by an inhale.

“tell me about it” said Laura, “the mornings are worse, its sooo bright, I think its time to go to work and its only 4am” she said with her exhale, the smoke lingering in the still air of the enclosed back patio.

“But, Law, isn’t that when you get to bed?” asked Karen followed with her own large inhale.

“I pass out from drinking well before then” replied Laura taking a large swig of her wine thinking of the occasions she had to climb the stairs to bed in the early mornings after passing out on the sofa.

The girls laughed and coughed.

“I often still think about us as teenagers sitting in the park late at night with a cheap bottle of ;white lightning’ cider getting drunk with a pack of lights that Karen had bought as she looked the oldest!” said Zoe with her exhale followed by a gulp of her wine.

“Did I remember correctly Zo, that your parents used to pay you in cigarettes?” Karen asked

“Yup, when I was in secondary school, and even through my A-Levels, and it was obvious I was smoking, rather than giving me money they used to give me cigarettes if I tidied my room or did the dishes and helped around the house.” Zoe replied.

“Guess they didn’t have the cash available?” asked Laura, inhaling.

“No idea, but my room was very tidy and the dishes were done quickly every night!” joked Zoe.

“Kaz, didn’t we meet in the park, as it was the closest to your house?” Asked Laura taking a thoughtful inhale as remembered it had been a long walk back drunk from the park to her parents’ house.

“That could well have been the true” replied Karen

“But it was good fun getting drunk together and talking rubbish over those summers” replied Zoe

“We are pretty much still doing the same nearly 15 years later” replied Karen taking her last drag off her cigarette and without an ashtray dropping it to the floor and stubbing it out with her shoe.

“LOL Kaz that is so true” said Laura finishing her cigarette and dropping it on the floor too. “Does anyone want a top up?” Laura asked.

"I will get the next bottle” said Karen, “I am going to find your loo!” she stated

“Excellent, saves my legs” said Laura lighting her next cigarette “it’s at the top of the stairs” she said with her exhale

“I will go once you get back” said Zoe

“BRB” said Karen attempting to talk text. As she got up and walked towards the back door her tall slender figure created a smoking shadow against the white side wall.

“Zoe, I am so drunk again Zo” said Laura taking a large inhale of her cigarette “I’m too old to keep doing this!”

“Don’t worry, we are all in the same boat” replied Zoe

“I’m an old drunken spinster!” Laura said taking a gulp of wine and large inhale of her cigarette.

“Oh you will find the right guy eventually” said Zoe

“I didn’t get too drunk most days this week, for work, but hell, I get to Friday and Saturday nights and I am drunk as a Skunk, and probably stink as much as one too!” Laura coughed then laughed.

“Oh Law, you shouldn’t feel so down” Zoe said supportively “I’m just as drunk as you are honey, I smoke just as much as you, we are two drunken spinsters together!” Zoe said, finishing her wine off.

“True, but you are at least thinking of going inside for a piss, I’m just thinking of doing it here!” said Laura pulling her skirt up behind her and taking a large inhale on her cigarette.

“What?” said Zoe, “you can go in next, when Karen gets back from the toilet?”

“I may have said that out loud” a sheepish Laura replied and thought better of it.

“It’s ok sweetie” Said Zoe

They looked up and could see the orange ball of Karen’s cigarette meandering back towards them.

“I’ve got the new bottle” said Karen triumphantly .

“Great, top us two drunken spinsters” said Zoe watching the wine bottle neck wavering over the wine glasses slowly filling them up.

“It’s dark, sweetie, it’s difficult to see the glasses” said Karan trying to balance and pour.

Zoe flicked her lighter “is that any better?” she asked.

“Yup perfect” Karen said as poured the wine.

Laura laughed “Right my turn for a piss” she said slowly getting up to go in letting her dress fall back down over her naked ass. She grabbed a cigarette and carefully lit it, inhaled and toddled off drunkenly towards the house in a cloud of exhaled smoke.

“Law is so drunk” Zoe said to Karen, once Laura was out of perceived ear shot.

“She has, like us had quite a few drinks” said Karen inhaling on her cigarette.

“Yer, I know but she was threatening just piss in the chair” said Zoe.

“It was rather exiting wetting my jeans the other night!” stated Karen flicking her ash on the floor.

“Really?” Zoe asked

“Yup the warmth as it trickled down my legs was quite pleasant” she said nonchalantly taking an inhale on her cigarette “but it was cold uncomfortable by the time I got home, and peeling the jeans off wasn’t fun!” Karen said thoughtfully with her exhale.

“At least she did get up and go for pee this time!” Zoe said sounding pleased, followed by an inhale.

“She didn’t get to her size by running up and down stairs to go to the loo” said Karen rather bitchily.

Both girls laughed, coughed, had a drink of their wine and chased it down with a deep inhale.

“She has got a lot bigger in the last few years since her dad died” Karen said with her exhale.

“It hit her hard, then breaking up with John didn’t help the situation afterwards either” said Zoe.

“Good point hadn’t thought about that, he was practically living with her” Karen said thoughtfully followed by an inhale.

“Anyway, is it me or is it now getting a little chilly?” asked Zoe inhaling “didn’t bring a cardi with me, it was far too hot earlier” she said with her exhale.

“I don’t know, it’s nice to be outside sometimes” exhaling up to the moon lit sky “being inside trying to sleep in this heat is a right pain in the arse” suggest Karen.

”True, I think I will finish this drink then think about heading home, I’m feeling pissed as fart” said Zoe

“I have a similar drunken feeling but I feel like I should give Laura some company, I think she is lonely at the moment?” Karen whispered loudly. “I think the wine in the fridge is her company!” she stated.

The light disappeared from the back door as Laura stood in it. “Girls do you want to come in?” she asked “it’s late and I don’t want the neighbours complaining we are outside making noise” she whispered noisily whilst holding on the door frame for support.

Karen and Zoe came stumbling back to the kitchen carrying the wine, glasses and cigarette packs.

Laura had changed in to her pyjama shorts and white vest top

“Law, I forgot how big your tits were!” Zoe said as she had a good stare at her uncontained breasts in the top.

Laura smiled “everyone needs a bosom for a pillow, and mine are extremely comfortable!” the girls laughed and coughed together.

“Anyone want a top up?” asked Laura, leaning her large bum against the fridge door.

”Oh that was quick Law, I forgot how sometimes you were like a fish to wine” replied Karen, necking her wine and stubbing her cigarette in the ashtray on the kitchen table “but hell yer babes, top me up” she said offering the glass to Laura.

“How about you Zo?” Laura asked.

“I was thinking about heading home, if that was ok?” asked Zoe

“You don’t need to ask permission!” stated Laura, “shall I call you a cab?”

“Oh thank you!” said Zoe

“Will do, oh I better put the phone on charge too!”

[bazzle]

More...

Laura waddled dangling her cigarette carrying her empty wine glass with Karen in to the kitchen, opened the fridge and got a third bottle of wine out, opened it and badly poured it in to glasses spilling most on the counter.

“Tink I’m too pissed for this” Said Laura giggling to Karen, putting her finger in the wine puddle on the counter, taking the dangled cigarette out of her mouth and sucking on her finger.

“Last one then maybe?” asked Karen inhaling and swaying, but trying to be sensible “then we can open the vodka!” she had second thoughts about being sensible.

“Sounds good to me” replied Laura leaning with her chest against the counter for support and drunkenly pulling on her cigarette with a large inhale. “shall we sit in the living room again?” she said as she staggered her turn to go to the living room.

“Law, you’ve got wine all over your top and shorts” stated Karen looking at the Laura’s breasts through a now see-thru top.

“Oopsy, the counters covered in wine more than I thought” said Laura “Naughty bottle!” she said pointing at the half empty wine bottle. She dropped her cigarette in the ashtray on the kitchen table and then fighting her vest top off and over her head dropping it on the floor and pulling her shorts down leaning on the counter she stepped out of the shorts kicking them off her feet. “That’s better” she said, Laura grabbed her cigarette had one last inhale and extinguished it in the ashtray. “You going to come to the living room?” she asked Karen.

“Oh yer”, still taking in that Laura was now standing naked in front of her and didn’t seem to care “it’s not at all cold at the moment is it!” Karen said trying to make a joke of it.

Laura leaned across and picked up her cigarettes and lit one. “It doesn’t help that I have a lot of inslu.. fat that keeps me too hot in this weather” slurred Laura, slapping her thighs which wobbled for great effect.

“Oh before we go I need to piddle” said Laura followed by an inhale.

“Do you want a hand to go upstairs?” asked Karen also inhaling on her cigarette

“Too lates” said Laura as she exhaled then giggled as the pee gushed down between her legs, with rivulets of pee running down her inner thighs.

“Oh” said Karen watching the slightly yellow puddle grow on the tiled floor. Taking a very large swig of her own wine and inhale on her cigarette she smiled at Laura as she sat on the kitchen chair and lifted her feet out of the puddle on the floor, lifted her skirt up, pulled her knickers to the side and added some of her piss to the growing puddle.

When both girls had finished Laura used her feet to retrieve her dropped clothes and used them as a cloth to wipe the floor the best she drunkenly could. She then picked up the wine glass from the counter inhaling and then stubbing out her cigarette in the ashtray as she exhaled.

“I’ve finished, shall we go to the living room?” Laura asked and stumbled in to the living room. Karen nodded and then carefully stood up as to not to slide over the wet kitchen floor and followed Laura in to the living room, and as she did she admired the naked and larger framed bottom wobble and drip in front of her.

Laura put her wine glass on the occasional table and flumped back in to the sofa, leaned forward, groaned, coughed and retrieved a cigarette from a pack and lit it

“Kaz, thanks for tonight, it’s nice to have you here” Laura said thoughtfully taking an inhale on her cigarette ignoring what happened five minutes ago.

“it’s ok sweetie, it’s nice to catch up with out of work and to have a drink or three!” Karen replied then lit her own cigarette.

“Tink we had more than three!” stated Laura slurred took a gulp of her wine and inhaled again on her cigarette.

“Yes, I think you might be right” Karen said having a sip of her wine watching Laura’s large breasts sway around as she drunkenly talked and moved.

“What are we doing tomorrow?” Asked Laura trying to be sober and sensible whilst taking a large swig of her wine.

“Nothing planned, what are your thoughts?” Karen asked?

“Not sure, too many dinks to think sensibly” Laura replied, followed by a double pump and exhale, “My wine glass is nearly empty and I need to piss again, that’s as much I can think at the moment” she said truthfully as she ashed her cigarette and gulped her wine.

Saturday

Laura rolled over and could hear a hacking cough beside her, “that’s not me is it?” she said to herself before needing to cough herself, “nope that was me” she said before coughing again. “ugh my head” she said to herself as she leaned over to the bedside table and grabbed a cigarette and lit it with a double pump, opened both green eyes and gingerly sat up to see Karen’s elbow as she was curled up in ball under the duvet coughing.

“Here, have a morning ciggie, I needed it!” Laura said nudging Karen’s back through the duvet and offering her cigarette.

“Oh thanks sweetie” she coughed “that’s exactly what I want” Karen said as she rolled back towards Laura, sat up, letting the duvet fall down and lit the cigarette with a double pump and large exhale up to the ceiling. “I feel shite” Karen said taking another large inhale, she leaned across Laura to ash her cigarette “my head hurts” she said rubbing her eye.

“Morning to you too!” said Laura smiling as Karen lunged past her to ash her cigarette, taking an inhale on her own cigarette “I am just waiting for the bedroom to stop spinning” she said with her exhale. Moving the full ashtray and balancing it on the duvet between them.

“Glad it is not just me” Karen said returning to her sitting position. Laura certainly wasn’t jealous of Karen’s much flatter chest, and smiled to herself.

“Nope, I really must tie this bedroom down, it spins most weekend mornings” Laura said exhaling he smoke followed by a deep breath of air trying to slow things down.

“What time did we get to bed last night?” Karen asked.

“No idea, as I don’t remember getting in to bed, just glad we did, could have woken up on the sofa, but that is not unusual for me not to remember” Laura said shrugging her shoulders and taking a pull on her cigarette.

“I need another cigarette, a piss and coffee” stated Karen taking another double pump and exhale, stubbing her cigarette out on the ashtray.

“I am thinking the same, here have another one” Laura said handing her the cigarette pack and lighter, Karen lit the Marlboro light and had yet another double pump. “You needed that” said Laura as Karen nodded her exhale whilst Laura took her own deep inhale.

“Yup, now need the toilet” said Karen swinging her long legs out from under the duvet and slowly getting up dangling her cigarette. Laura grabbed the very full ashtray just before it fell over.

Laura watched the pert ass split with a red thong gently wobble across the room as Karen stumbled over Laura’s clothes on the floor. Karen grabbed hold to the door frame for support. “Wish my arse was that small” Laura said to herself.

“You must do a better job of tying down this room” the half-naked Karen joked from the door as she paused for an inhale and exhale of her cigarette waiting for the world to settle before heading towards the bathroom.

Laura smiled to herself “Kaz, I will try better tomorrow!” she said out loud and “it’s not just me that struggles in the morning” to herself took the last double pump from her cigarette exhaled towards to light fitting and extinguished the cigarette in the ashtray.

Laura lit another cigarette, had a large pull and exhaled through her nose, coughed a couple of times and gingerly got out of bed herself dangled her cigarette and using the window sill and wall for support she picked up the pink dressing gown dumped on the chair in the corner and wrapped it around herself.

The toilet flushed and Karen appeared at the bedroom door dangling her cigarette “Feeling better for that, oh I did use some of your mouthwash, as my mouth feels awful” Karen said exhaling then looking at the floor “oh right to find my clothes” she said looking at the piles of clothes on the floor.

“I am guessing yours will be on top” said Laura hopefully, thinking she really should tidy up again.

“Sod it, will look for them in a bit, my head hurts and I need coffee first” Karen said inhaling on her cigarette.

Laura gingerly bent down coughed and picked up one of her large t-shirts off the floor “this will big enough on you to work as nightie until we find your clothes!” Laura offered helpfully.

“Oh, cool, thanks” Karen said putting the green baggy t-shirt over her head; it just about covered her bum. “I will head downstairs and put the telly on” she suggested.

“Excellent, will be down in a sec” Laura said as she headed to the bathroom for her morning pee.

---
“Thanks for the coffee” Karen said taking a gulp of the coffee and manicuring her cigarette ash on the full kitchen ashtray “I needed it” she said sitting in Laura’s large green baggy t-shirt at the kitchen table.

“I needed it too, don’t you worry!” Laura exhaled her smoke “thanks for helping clean up in here this morning” she replied leaning against a now wiped down counter “I must have been a little desperate for a pee!” She attempted to joke.

“It’s ok I don’t think you wanted an indoor swimming pool sweetie” Karen also attempted to joke, “thanks for letting me stay over last night, don’t think I would have got home in one piece!” stated Karen.

“I was grateful for the company” replied Laura “but you definitely snore!” she teased and inhaled her cigarette.

“I may do?” Karen replied meekly with her exhale.

“Bugger should have bought some food in Tescos last night” Laura said looking in the fridge “I don’t think I have got anything for breakfast” Laura stated with an exhale of smoke “I have beer, wine and vodka in here” explained “oh and butter” she said as she found it behind the beer bottles.

“Wine for breakfast, haven’t had that for years!” Said Karen thoughtfully.

“Hair of the dog, and my head hurts, and I know it does help” replied Laura full well knowing her vodka lunch last week, made her feel so much better, if a little sleepy.

“One glass won’t hurt, will it?” Asked Karen taking a thoughtful inhale on her cigarette “and as you say hair of the dog!” with her exhale.

----

[bazzle]

Continued

“My head no longer hurts!” said Karen whilst sitting in the corner chair of the lounge holding an empty wine glass, exhaling through her nose as Laura wavered in to the living room from the stairs, “oh what happened to your dressing gown?” she asked.

“My dressing gown wouldn’t get up off the stupid toilet floor!” exclaimed the naked Laura inhaling furiously “it was being silly” she stated “I dropped it on the floor when I went to piss, and when I had finished, it wouldn’t get up again.

“They do have a mind of their own.” Karen said in her similar drunken logic.

“Absolutely, but at least it’s not cold!” stated the naked Laura.

“You are looking gorgeous naked Law” said Karen, through the prism of wine goggles.

“Oh thanks sweetie” said Laura shaking a cigarette from the nearly empty pack on the occasional table and having a couple attempts at lighting it. “But we all know you have the best-looking body of the both of us!” she replied.

“I’ve got an ironing board of a chest compared your mountains!” Karen stated holding her hands to her flat chest.

“Well, yes my tits are my best asset” Laura said whilst dangling her cigarette and holding both her breasts up, whilst doing a couple of drunken modelling poses.

Both girls laughed and coughed and inhaled on their cigarettes.

“Can you help me up, that second breakfast wine has gone to my bladder and legs, and I need to go for a pee too” said Karen.

“Not sure if my silly legs can help” said Laura and she dangled her cigarette and offered both her hands, and like a ‘steam engine’, with lots of smoke pouring out of her mouth she pulled the much lighter Karen up towards her. “Yay we did it!” she said at Karen reached vertical.

“Thanks sweetie!” Karen said as she gave Laura a brief hug to make sure she was upright and then slowly walked towards the door “will be back in a second”

“When you get back, do you want a top up breakfast wine?” asked Laura as Karen got to the stairs

“Oh, make it a lunch one now” Karen said as she giggled her way up the stairs.

“Where is my wine?” Laura said out loud to herself as Karen clumped up the stairs, she found it on the occasional table, picked up the half full glass of wine, attempted to ash her cigarette near the ashtray and took a large swig if wine, lots of it dribbled down her mouth and over her naked chest. “Oops” she said wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, then wiping her hand on the thighs.

---
Karen was sitting on the loo, with the world gently swaying “I knew morning wine was not good” she said to herself as she inhaled her cigarette “but at least we are having fun” she picked up Laura’s dressing gown off the floor, stood up, rearranged her underwear, flushed and headed back down stairs.

Karen came down the stairs carrying the dressing gown to find Laura sitting at the kitchen table dangling her ever present cigarette with two full glasses of white wine.

“Kaz, I think we might need some food?” I haven’t eaten anything since the chips last night” said Laura using her finger to recover some of the split wine off her breasts as Karen came in to the room.

“Yes that would be a good idea, what are you thinking?” asked Karen

“Pizza, they deliver, and I am little naked” Laura said holding her naked breasts “and too drunk to go walking anywhere” said Laura exhaling as she spoke.

“Here is your dressing gown, which will solve one of those problems!” said Karen throwing it badly in her direction, it landed on the back of one of the chairs, “but pizza sounds good!”

“Thanks sweetie, have you seen my phone?” asked Laura looking around the kitchen and just seeing the empty bottles of wine on the counter.

“Erm, in the living room?” replied Karen

“Good thinking” Laura said, “Shall we go and find my phone and some food” pointing in the direction of the living room.

“Sounds like a very good plan!” slurred Karen

Laura got up leaving her dressing gown over the kitchen chair, pulled a cigarette out of the pack, realised she was dangling her current one, ashed it in the ashtray and left the new cigarette on the table, picked up her full wine glass and staggered with Karen towards the living room.

----

“Kaz you’ve still clothes on?” asked Laura inhaling on another cigarette “I’m still merry much naked” she slurred her exhale.

“Yes sweetie” said Karen exhaling looking down and checking to see her now wine stained t-shirt was still there.

“Could you go an answer the door for the del… piz... food man?” asked Laura in a garbled fashion trying to find the right words.

“Yer, of course” said Karen “give us a second to try and get up!” she replied stubbing her cigarette out on the table, as she couldn’t see the ashtray for the pile of dead cigarettes.

“We are on our way! Laura shouted to the door between the doorbell rings.

Karen slumped out of the chair and on to the floor and crawled along the living room floor, flashing her ass at Laura as she went along until she had reached the living room door frame.

She gingerly climbed up the door frame and staggered to the front door.

“Law how do you unlock your door?” She asked looking at the door and the delivery man through it.

“Just turn the knobby thing sweetie” Laura replied

“Oh, ok” she looked at the door confused “Just unlocking the door delivery man driver” she slurred to the door.

The door finally opened and Karen retrieved and two pizza boxes and a 1.5L bottle of coke. Thanked the delivery guy who got a long look at her naked legs before she attempted to shut the door. She put the coke on the floor as she had run out of hands and staggered back to living room carrying the pizza.

“Law, you bought some cola?” Karen asked as she slowly walked back in to the living room with the pizzas.

“Yup, we have nearly runned out of wine” she stated, “but we has vodka in the fridge!” she slurred, smiled, and inhaled on her cigarette.

---

Laura awoke to the sound of her phone ringing. She looked around and found it on the floor by an empty pizza box.

“Eh hello” she coughed.

“Oh mum, hello” she said coughing again.

“I may have had an afternoon nap, and my head may hurt what time is it?” she grabbed a cigarette and the lighter from the nearly empty pack and inhaled deeply to get her cigarette going.

“Seven? Oh hell I’ve slept longer than I thought” she said with her exhale.

“I am here at home with Karen, she is keeping me company” she said looking across to see the half-naked Karen curled up in a ball fast asleep and snoring in the chair in the corner.

“We may have both had a couple of lunchtime drinks, but we are ok” Laura said with a stretch.

“I will go shopping myself tomorrow, I will be ok, maybe see you next weekend?” she asked.

“Enjoy your night out with your ladies mum” she said.

“Bye-bye” she said before hanging up.

Laura got up dangling her cigarette, brushing the pizza crumbs and peperoni pieces off her chest, gingerly bent down and grabbed a cold pizza slice from the box on the floor, coughed and took a bite, before carefully heading upstairs for a pee.

---

Laura came down the stairs wearing her baggy grey jogging bottoms and a white t-shirt as she couldn’t find her jeans.

“Hey Kaz” Laura said as she shook Karen’s shoulder. “I am going to pop to down to Tesco’s and get some more ciggies and some food for tonight”

“Eh” Karen replied followed a large cough.

“We’ve been asleep, its 730 at night, and I’m about to run out cigarettes and there is no food in the house for tea!”

“Do you need a hand?” Karen asked trying to work out where she was.

“Nah, stay there, I will be back in 20 minutes, Do you need anything?”

----
Practically 24 hours of solid smoking and drinking meant that Laura stank of cigarettes and alcohol, her hair was a mess, and as she walked around Tescos her jogging bottoms white label was hanging out the back, Laura had wished that she had brought her sunglasses as the bright lights of the store were hurting her head, a couple of people gave the sarcastic coughs and gave her a wide berth as mooched down the wine isle. She picked up a couple more bottles of white wine, a microwave lasagne for two; some garlic bread and 4 more packs of cigarettes at the tobacco counter, a couple for her and couple for Karen and headed home lighting a new cigarette as soon as she got in to the fresh air.

Laura opened the front door to see Karen’s red thonged ass literally climbing the stairs.

“I’ve got us a lasagne sweetie” she said to the ass, exhaling her smoke.

“Great, I am just on my way for a piss” replied Karen as she turned her head towards Laura,

“Do you need a hand?” Asked Laura watching the ass wiggle and wobble its way up the stairs and then drawing on her cigarette.

“Nah I’m nearly there!” Karen replied panting.

“Cool, I’m going to put the oven on for garlic bread and open the wine, I’m hoping it clears my headache as it did this morning.” Laura replied calmly with her exhale picking up the bottle of coke that Karen had left by the front door at lunchtime.
Laura turned the oven on for the first time in a few days, found a clean oven tray and put the bread on the tray, waddled back in to the living room, moved the pizza boxes out the way with her foot, manicured her cigarette as she was there, picked up the empty wine glasses and returned to the kitchen.

----

“I really don’t think we should have opened the second bottle of wine” said Karen slouching in the corner chair with her legs wide apart holding the full glass in her right hand and her cigarette in her left. Her green t-shirt was riding up over her small belly and the pink bow and the now damp red mesh of her thong were on show.

“The first cleared my head up wonderfully” said Laura taking a hit on the current cigarette.

“Yes that is very true” said Karen “But I was thinking I really should head home” she said before taking a large sip of her wine.

“Nah, stay another night, please?” Laura asked smiling and doing her best tipsy puppy dog eyes.

”I’ve been wearing this thong for nearly 48 hours” said Karen pulling the wine stained t-shirt down a bit “I have no idea where last night’s clothes are either and I ought to have a shower and change?” Karen asked.

“Take them off, I’ve not been exactly dressed today have I?” said Laura sitting in her similarly lasagne and wine stained white t-shirt and track suit bottoms “have a shower and dress tomorrow I don’t care, I will be stinking too!” said Laura smelling her armpits “yup I do!” she smiled.

Karen put down the wine glass, dangled her cigarette, lifted her bum slightly out the chair and peeled her damp thong down her long legs, revealing her neatly shaven landing strip, scrunched the thong in to a ball and dropped it on the floor on top of the pile of Laura’s dirty clothes from earlier in the week, she then took a large double pump on the cigarette and exhaled whilst shuffling up a little in the chair.

In drunken solidarity Laura put her cigarette in the overflowing ashtray beside her, pulled her t-shirt over her head and peeled down her tracksuit bottoms kicking them over the pizza boxes and adding to the growing pile of clothes on the floor, retrieved her cigarette and had a large inhale. “There, I don’t care that I be naked in front of you!” said Laura exhaling and sliding her fingers between her own legs.

Karen smiled at what she saw “I had noticed sweetie!” she said with her exhale and took a large slug from her wine glass.

----

[bazzle]

Continued

Sunday

“Morning Kaz” Laura said passing a cigarette and lighter to her following both their morning coughing fits. They were both now sitting up in bed neither of them covered by a ‘Hollywood L shaped duvet’.

“Thanks sweetie” Karen almost growled with her deep morning voice, followed by a cough, she lit the cigarette with a double pump.

“How is your head? I am feeling ok, but I may still be drunk!” Laura giggled, coughed and then drew on her cigarette.

“It’s felt better to be honest” Karen said with her exhale.

“Some coffee will help I am sure!” replied Laura followed by an inhale moving the ashtray between them before she got lunged at.

“Sounds good!” said Karen “Not sure breakfast wine yesterday was the wisest things to do!” she stated.

“Oh, I thought we had fun yesterday!? Said Laura rather disappointedly then taking an inhale.

“Oh we certainly had fun!” Karen smiled.

“If I actually sober up a bit, I have a feeling may take some time, do you fancy coming with me to big Tescos to do some shopping?” Laura asked with her exhale “I could drop you home on the way back?” she suggested.

“Can do” Said Karen exhaling her smoke as she spoke.

“As I still have no food in the house” she giggled “and I ought to do something about it!” Laura said smiling “otherwise my mum will actually be rather cross with me!”

“Really even now as a grown up?” asked Karen raising an eyebrow and ashing her cigarette in the ashtray balancing on the bed between them.

“Even more so, she occasionally drags me to Tescos so I get food in” replied Laura taking a deep inhale.

“You could do online shopping Law?!” suggested Karen followed by a double pump inhale.

“To be honest, I hadn’t thought about that! Laura replied thoughtfully with her exhale.

Karen took one last drag on her cigarette, exhaled and stubbed it out on the ashtray. “I need my morning pee” she said before leaning across and kissing Laura on the lips.

“Oh it wasn’t a dream last night?” said Laura as she smiled at Karen and stroked her face.

“Nope” Said Karen kissing her again before pulling away, turning and shuffling out of bed. Laura again just caught the ashtray before it tipped over. She placed it on the bedside table and watched and admired Karen’s naked body stumble over the clothes and out of the room.

Karen turned as she reached the door way “You could join me in the shower?” Karen asked.

“Oh I could do” smiled Laura with an exhale, stubbing her cigarette out on the ashtray, and swinging her legs out of bed and gingerly getting up. She coughed once she was upright and slowly got her naked body to the bathroom to join Karen.

---

“So shopping” said Karen manicuring her cigarette in the seriously full ashtray and taking a sip of her coffee, sitting wearing her blue blouse and white linen skirt from Friday night. Her red thong was poking out of her handbag on the chair beside her.

“I need to, as you can see, there is no food in the house” said Laura before double pumping her cigarette sitting in her dressing gown.

“We could just go to the pub for brunch?” asked Karen “I haven’t stepped outside the house for 24 hours, and could do with some fresh air!”

“We could, and I like that plan, but it is work tomorrow?” mooted Laura pausing for an inhale “I don’t think we are capable of just having coffee in a pub?” she said with her exhale.

“We would sober up by Monday” suggested Karen exhaling “That shower has made me feel a lot better” she smiled at Laura.

“I’m not sure I am sober now!” Laura said with another double pump “even after the shower” she manicured the cigarette whilst exhaling the blue cloud up to against the light fitting.

“Come on, go and get dressed and let’s head off to the pub, we can go on the bus via Tesco and as I will definitely need more ciggies” Karen said effectively ordering Laura.

Laura had a thoughtful inhale “Okay, you’ve twisted my arm!” Laura said exhaling, smiled as she got up from the kitchen chair, she stubbed her cigarette out in the ashtray and leaned in and gave Karen a smoky kiss on the lips.

---

Laura came down the stairs with her hair brushed, and some makeup on, in a very short floaty summery dress that only just covered her large bum.

“Wow, that looks fun! “ Karen said as Laura walked in to the kitchen.

“You said comfortable” said Laura “its hot out there!” reaching for the pack on the table and lighting up.

“That is very true” said Karen before inhaling on her own cigarette.

“So just need to find the handbag and mobile and we can head out” Laura said looking around the kitchen.

“I think they are both in the living room” replied Karen with her exhale.

“You are probably right” said Laura heading in that direction in a cloud of exhaled blue smoke.

---

It was 3pm they were just finishing the second bottle of wine, still picking at the sharing bowl of nachos they had for lunch.

“I’m feeling good, don’t know about you” said Laura before sipping from her nearly empty wine glass.

“Yup, told you brunch and lunch here would be good idea” said Karen before inhaling deeply on her cigarette.

“It was! You know I was thinking the other day that I should join a gym” said Laura taking a large inhale on her cigarette”

“Why?” Karen enquired.

“You know, my weight has ballooned in the last couple of years” said Laura before taking a nacho covered in sour cream and eating it “plus I’m practically panting when I get up the two flights of stairs at work after the ciggy breaks now!” she said before a double pump inhale and exhaling her smoke cloud up in to the sky.

“It’s good to keep fit, I used to love running as a teenager, must admit I haven’t even run for a bus in a long time” Karen said with her exhale. "Back then I was a size 8, I'm now a 12!"

"That would be my goal a size 12, with my hips I would never be an 8!" Laura said picking up and eating another nacho.

"You are gorgeous to me!" Said Karen, offering her hand across the table, Laura interlocked her fingers and squeezed the offered hand.

Laura took a large swig of her wine with the other hand “I will look in to gyms soon” and inhaled on her cigarette.

“Well if you find a gym you like, tell me, I could always come along too!” Karen smiled at Laura and inhaled deeply on her cigarette.

“My other biggest problem is I still haven’t solved my shopping problem though, and I am probably too pissed to cook tonight anyway!” giggled Laura before inhaling on her cigarette too.

“Do it after work on, oh tomorrow?” asked Karen with her exhale up in to the blue sky.

“Could do, I guess, tend to rush home to the wine” giggled Laura as she exhaled. “Will just have to remember”

“You do have it bad, don’t you?” Karen suggested.

“Yup, a little bit” said Laura taking a gulp of her wine before a thoughtful inhale.

“I have just got to remember that I need to go home to my own bed tonight!” said Karen.

“Oh, are you sure?” asked Laura a little dejectedly.

“Well, I’ve been wearing these clothes since Friday, and I can’t wear them to work again, oh, and I have salsa on them now too” Karen stated looking down at the red salsa splodges on her white skirt; she licked her thumb in an attempted to wipe it off further smearing it.

“Could you go home get changed and them come back round to mine? We could watch a film or something?” Laura asked, trying to think when she was sober enough in the evening to focus on a film.

“I could do, I think we enjoyed each other’s company last night!” said Karen with a tipsy twinkle in her eye.

“We certainly did!” said Laura offering her hand across the table again to Karen and smiling.

---

Laura dangling a freshly cigarette, which was lit as soon as she was out the taxi struggled to get the key in the door, once it was in and turned she stumbled over the door frame and in her house.

“Silly door,” she said to it as it closed behind her, she dumped her handbag at the bottom of the stairs and climbed the stairs on her hands and knees still trying to dangle the cigarette dropping ash as she climbed. She stood up by climbing up wall at the top of the stairs and stumbled over to the toilet, she lifted up her dress and took a deep inhale fell down on the toilet seat, exhaled and did what she needed to do.

“That last double or the one after wasn’t the wisest thing” she said to no one swayed and giggled to herself and took another large inhale.

Once finished she slowly got up still swaying and dropped the spent cigarette in the sink and headed carefully back down stairs.

She stumbled in to the kitchen, opened the fridge, picked up the vodka bottle took a large swig, wiped her face and nose with her hand and stumbled back to the sofa picking up her handbag and cigarettes on the way flumping down on to the sofa holding the vodka bottle for safety and swiftly fell asleep.

---

“Who is ringing the doorbell?” She asked as she could hear the bell.

“Laura” Karen shouted through the door

“Oopsy” said Laura as she picked up the vodka bottle from beside her, rubbed her eyes and got up from the sofa “sorry Karen I fell asleep” she shouted back.

She opened the door and let Karen in.

“Hey darling” said Karen carrying her overnight bag “thanks for letting me in, didn’t want to get another taxi home again, plus I am now desperate for a pee!” she wiggled her legs.

“Help your self Kaz, the toilet is up the stairs, do you want a coffee or a drink?” she asked then yawned.

“Oh did we have any wine left?” Karen asked as she drunkenly clumped up the stairs.

“I will have a look” said Laura holding and looking at the vodka bottle. She carefully walked in to the kitchen, opened the fridge, swayed a little bit, replaced the vodka and got out the wine bottle. Grabbed a cigarette and lighter from the kitchen table and lit the cigarette, coughed and inhaled again. Laura poured the wine in to two glasses and was heading to the living room.

“Law, sod it girl bring the wine up here!” Karen shouted from the top of the stairs.

Laura carefully stumbled whilst dangling her cigarette and carrying the wine around to the bottom of the stairs looked up to see Karen naked at the top of the stairs waiting for her.

Monday

“Fuck, FUCK, Fuck” said Laura jumping out of bed with the alarm. She got to standing and had to stop, stand still hold the wall and cough, and cough hard “I need to get up” she said panting.

“Morning Beautiful” said Karen opening her eyes and then having a gentle cough of her own.

“I am still fucking drunk” said Laura grabbing a cigarette from the bedside table and lighting it. “It was a school night” Laura said before drawing deeply on her cigarette “I need to piss, shower, shave my legs and sober up for work”

“Honey, I’m in the same bed, you could get back in to bed?” suggested Karen from the bed.

“I don’t want to lose my job” Laura said with her panicked exhale “so getting back in to bed, however much I want to, is not an option” she said between short sharp inhale and exhales.

Karen giggled, “we will be fine” she slowly got out of bed holding the other wall for support too and walked around the bed and gave Laura a hug, took the cigarette out of Laura’s mouth, had her own deep inhale on it and gave Laura a smoky morning kiss on the lips with her exhale. She placed the cigarette back in Laura’s mouth.

Laura turned around and then passed Karen the cigarette pack and lighter “Thanks” Karen said after own deep inhale.

Laura doubled pumped the cigarette with her bum leaning against the window sill, coughed the exhale, and double pumped again. The long ash was flicked off in the direction of the ashtray and landing mainly on the floor. Laura shrugged her shoulders and inhaled again as she exhaled she grabbed another cigarette out of the pack, and lit it using her current cigarette, stubbed her first morning ciggy out in the ashtray, “that feels better Kaz” she said with her exhale, I really do need a piss and to get ready for work.

---

With two cups of coffee and some preparatory “fuck it’s time to go to work” cigarettes Laura and Karen got in the car, giggled, lit there “going to work” cigarettes and drove off.

The End…Or was it?

[bazzle]

The Final version of the ending of this story. Those who have ploughed on through all of this, I thank you!

Friday Evening
“You are a star” replied Laura, and as they drove off “do you fancy coming in to mine joining us girls for a drink?” thinking he might enjoy having the harem of drunken girls for the evening.

“Oh that does like fun, it will be only one drink as I’ve got to get up early in the morning to cricket club, otherwise I would be there like a shot” he replied.

“Oh, great that’s cool, I think there is a beer in the fridge” she said as retrieved a cigarette and her lighter from the bag on her lap and held on to both for safety. ”Come and join us girls we will have some fun wont we?” Laura asked

“Hell Yer!” Karen and Zoe replied.

“Tomorrow you are all more than welcome to come up and watch me play tomorrow, it’s meant to be sunny and there is bar!” Sean said trying to sell cricket.

“We shall see!” said Laura getting out of the car once Sean had parked up “Right lets get this wine in the house” said getting out of the car. Once Laura was out, he pulled the seat forward to let Karen and Zoe out. Sean got a good a good look at Karen’s red thong through her white linen trousers and Zoe’s pert arse as they squeezed out the passenger side door.

As was a natural reaction as soon as the three girls got out of the car, they all lit up their cigarettes with a cheek hollowing inhale and a large exhale, as Laura walked around the front of the car she slightly bounced off the bonnet and down the path to open her front door with the two girls following in their own cloud of smoke, Sean followed a couple of paces behind trying not the cough as he walked through their cloud of smoke.

The four of them bunched up at the front door, as Lara had to rummage in her bag to find the keys, then attempt to get the key in the door.

“Shall I help you?” Asked Sean

“Nah, thanks Sean, almost there!” Laura said as she managed to open the door.

They gave her a sarcastic clap once the door opened.

"So girls and Sean who wants a drink?" Laura asked. Making a beeline to the kitchen to open and pour the drinks, "Wine or shall we go for the vodka?" She asked.

"I'm thinking wine first off” replied Karen.

"Sounds good" said Zoe

“Do you have a beer?” Asked Sean from the hallway watching the girls excitedly smoke and open the wine.

“Yup, Corona is that ok?” Laura asked.

“Yes of course” replied Sean.

Laura dangled her current cigarette and carefully emptied the first bottle and unsteadily poured it to three glasses, spilling a bit on her hand, she passed the glasses to the girls , retrieved the beer behind the butter in the fridge, opened a draw for the bottle opener and passed both to Sean.

"Cheers" she said, as they then clinked their glasses “Bottoms up” and the girl slugged back the wine, Sean had a sip of the beer.

“As it’s so bloody hot, shall we sit outside on the patio?” Asked Laura“.

"Ah the advantage of being at your place!" replied Zoe thinking about her 1st floor flat.

"Yup!” Laura said, and she waddled over dangling her cigarette to try to unlock and open the back door only find it unlocked again “oops” she said under her breath and she opened the door, grabbed her wine glass from the table and headed out the door on to the patio.
They followed her outside.

“Law, you are so lucky to own your own place like this, with its one patio area” said Karen as the three meandered towards to the chairs, Sean hung back to take it all in.

“Thanks, Kaz, but as you know, it’s only because of my dad” Laura said taking a deep inhale on her cigarette.

“Oh yer” replied Karan, “but at least this place is a positive out of that” she said trying to be confident.

They sat down on the slightly uncomfortable green plastic furniture, put their glasses and packs on the table and chatted.

“So Sean, are you happy to be with a harem of tipsy or in my case drunken, girls?” Zoe asked, inhaling deeply on her cigarette “As we certainly appreciate you giving us a lift!”

“Very much so, three gorgeous women and a cold beer, not a bad way to end a Friday night!” Sean boasted taking a sip of his beer.

They all laughed, the girls then had their gentle coughs.

“I still can’t get my head around it being nearly 10 and still light and hot” said Zoe followed by an inhale.

“tell me about it” said Laura, “the mornings are worse, its sooo bright, I think it’s time to go to work and its only 4am” she said with her exhale, the smoke lingering in the still air of the enclosed back patio.

“But, Law, isn’t that when you get to bed?” asked Karen followed with her own large inhale.

“I pass out from drinking well before then” replied Laura taking a large swig of her wine thinking of the occasions she had to climb the stairs to bed in the early mornings after passing out on the sofa.

“Really?” Asked Sean.

“Well maybe not every evening” Laura exhaled and tried to justify herself to her male company, taking another large drink of her wine.

“Yer Sean, us girls have been drinking and smoking together for about 15 years now!” Karen said.

“Oh I didn’t know you had known each other that long” he replied.

“We all used to go drinking in the park as 15-16 year olds” Zoe said.
“Ah as I lived up country and moved down here 5 or so years ago, I haven’t got that many local friends, other than those in the cricket club” he stated.

Laura finished her wine with a big gulp. Stubbing her cigarette out on the floor.

“Right girls, I am going in for piss, and will bring a new bottle out”

“Crikey Laura, I sometimes forget how quickly you can drink a glass of wine” Said Zoe exhaling her smoke.

“I am a fish to wine sometimes” Laura said guiltily, taking a fresh cigarette out of her pack and lighting it.

“I will follow you in” Said Karen, “I equally need a pee, didn’t go before we left the pub, and I am rather desperate”

“Cool, will be back Zoe and Sean!” Said Laura as she inhaled with a double pump and staggered of towards the door exhaling as she went, Karen followed in tow.

“One of these days, I will work out why girls have to go to the loo together” said Sean as they disappeared through the door taking a sip of his beer. “It’s one of those life mysteries to men!” he stated.

Zoe laughed and inhaled on her cigarette, exhaling away from Sean. “I think you will find it’s so we can carry on gossiping and talking” said Zoe.

“That would make sense” said Sean.

“So this cricket thing tomorrow what are you doing?” Zoe asked.

“It’s just a normal game, but we need to be there early to prepare the ground and warm up” replied Sean helpfully.

“Oh one of ex’s used to play for someone, can’t remember now and was always never there on Saturdays” said Zoe, with a thoughtful inhale afterwards.

“Yup, that is me, for the 6 months of summer, Saturdays are a write off, unless it’s raining!” Sean said.

“Oh” said Zoe with her exhale “I guess you must enjoy it!?” inhaling again.

“Yup, unless I drop a catch or get out too easily!” replied Sean “You sort of only have one chance”.

“Ah, I know absolutely nothing about it” replied Zoe with her exhale.

“Most people who come to watch tend to drink, or read a book, rather than actually watch it!” Sean said trying to be helpful.

“I could do the drinking part” Zoe said stubbing her cigarette out on the floor.

It went darker for a second as Karen came stumbling out the back porch with a new bottle of wine the orange ball of her cigarette showing off against the now darkness.

“Laura’s getting changed” Karen said with an exhale “so here is the wine” as she unscrewed the top of the wine. “Oh, its darker now as I have come from inside, I don’t want to spill the wine, cant actually see the glasses” she said dangling her cigarette.

“Here try this” said Zoe using her light to illuminate the glasses but putting her hand over her glass.

“Ah perfect” Karen said as she topped up the two of the three wine glasses.

“I might make a move in a bit, this last glass of wine has made me drunker” said Zoe

“Oh, are you sure?” Asked Karen

“I think so!” said Zoe “Its also getting a little chilly don’t you think?” she asked wrapping her hands around herself.

“Nah I’m ok! Said Karen

“Oh, did you want another beer?” Karen asked Sean

“Nope haven’t finished this one yet, and as I am driving don’t want to push it” Said Sean.

“Ok if you are sure, I am sure there was another bottle in there” Karen said inhaling deeply on her cigarette.

“I will be fine” said Sean

The light disappeared from the back door as Laura stood in it. “Guys do you want to come in?” she asked “it’s late and I don’t want the neighbours complaining we are outside making noise” she whispered noisily whilst holding on the door frame for support.

Sean helped Zoe and Karen pick up the glasses and cigarette packs as the two girls came stumbling back to the kitchen.

Laura had changed in to her pyjama shorts and white vest top

“Law, I’m thinking of having an early night” said Zoe

“Oh, are you sure?” Laura asked before inhaling on her cigarette.

“Yup, that last glass of wine has gone to my head” she replied

“Oh, shall I call you a cab?” Laura asked with her exhale, the smoke pouring out as she spoke.

“Nah I can do that myself” Said Zoe.

“Do you want some wine whilst you wait?” Asked Laura taking a gulp of her wine.

“Nah, I am ok! Just want to get home to my bed!”

“Sean, do you fancy another beer?” Laura asked

“erm, I could do” he said trying not stare Laura’s large braless breasts.

[bazzle]

Sean sat in the corner chair after moving some clothes on to the floor, and Karen and Laura sat on the sofa.

Laura had for ease of access moved the ashtray on to the sofa between them.

Sean was sitting there sipping his beer mesmerized and enjoying the show in the way the girls demolished their wine, chatted and smoked. No sooner had one cigarette been dropped in the ashtray another one lit, and as soon as the wine glass was half empty had it been filled up.

“Sean, can you help me up?” Asked Laura with another exhale “I need to get a new bottle of wine, I’ve runned out” she drunkenly said, followed by an inhale.”

Yes of course” Sean said, give me your hands Laura exhaled and dangled her latest cigarette and offered her hands to Sean, he had a great view down her vest top and he pulled Laura up to standing. She wobbled around a bit and giggled.

“Oopsy, I’m a little drunk Laura said as wobbled around whilst she concentrated on inhaling on her cigarette "shall we open the vodka Kaz?” she said with her exhale.

“Absolutely, I need to go for a pee first” Karen stated.

“Oh that would be a good idea!” said Laura.

"Shall I help you too?" Sean asked.

"That would be lovely!" Karen said putting her latest cigarette in the corner of her mouth and offering up her hands up.

Sean repeated the lifting up process, coughing afterwards as Karen’s cigarette smoke went up Sean’s nose as they neared the upright position.

Sean stopped and looked at the two very drunk colleagues swaying about emitting smoke from mouths and noses in front of him.

“Right girls, I will need a piss myself, and then I am going to leave you, as I need to walk home, and I need to get up early in the morning to get back here for my car" Said Sean.

Laura giggled "You can use the toilet rather than pissing yourself!"

"That was the plan, I will be gentlemanly and let you girls go first!" Sean said.

"How kind of you sir!" Karen said exhaling her smoke away from Sean this time.

Sean watched as Karen and Laura supported each other towards the stairs both dangling their cigarettes and slowly climbing up the stairs. Sean sat down on the chair taking in what he was witnessing with his two very drunk colleagues, he sniffed his t-shirt “it must reek of smoke” he thought to himself, got his phone out and checked his social media whilst waiting for the girls to come back down the stairs.

----

"Law pour me a double!" Karen said to Laura as she slowly came down the stairs.

“Okay” Laura said as she bumped along the hallway.

Sean picked up the wine glasses and his empty beer bottle in the living room, "Shall I help you by taking them to the kitchen?" He asked from the chair.

"Oh, yes hunny, that would be wonderful" Laura said as she carefully moved towards the door and the kitchen in her exhale.

Sean followed Laura and Karen, taking a good look at Laura’s ass noticing the shorts were wet and tucked up her arse cheeks as he followed her in to kitchen “Law, are your shorts wet?” he asked as he reached the sink.

Laura giggled and looked at Karen beside her “oh yes they are” putting her left hand between her thighs and stroked “Kaz took too long to pee, so looks like I dribbled” and giggled and inhaled on her cigarette again.

“Trust you to blame me!” Karen said before getting a fresh cigarette from the pack on the kitchen table and lighting up with a deep inhale “you let me go first, and then didn’t pull your shorts down in time” she said with her exhale and smiled.

Laura inhaled her cigarette "Abso...yes hunny wery true" Laura stumbled over the words and laughed.

Sean put the glasses in the sink, as there was limited counter space. “Are these glasses ok in here?” he asked trying to change the topic before getting out of the way as Laura started hunting through cupboards.

“Yes sweetie” with her exhale as she concentrated on finding some clean glasses for the vodka. She found three in a cupboard and whilst dangling her cigarette she opened the chilled vodka and carefully poured the vodka halfway up the three tumblers.
"I did say I was leaving?" suggested Sean looking at the three glasses.

“Oh, yes, you can go once you have fini… had this one” slurred Laura.

Sean smiled at Laura “okay, just this one!”

"Goody" said Laura, smiling drunkenly after her exhale. "Just need to find the coke!" She said before inhaling on her cigarette then looking in another cupboard. As she exhaled in the cupboard the smoke poured out.

Laura found a coke bottle, handed it to Sean with a smile and he twisted the top and opened it for her “there’s feminism in action” he joked and the girls giggled.

Laura hovered bottle over the top of the glasses pouring some in, and lots on the counter. Leaned across to the table holding on to the back of the chair to ash her cigarette, once sorted she wobbled back and handed the glasses across to Sean and Karen.

“Thanks Sweetie” Karen said as Sean reached across opened the coke bottle and poured a little more coke in to his.

“I’m not as much as fan as you for neat vodka” he said as the girls giggled.
----
The two girls were practically asleep on the sofa as Sean finished his drink got up and said “I’m off, I will see you girls in the morning” he whispered

“Ohhh key” said Laura woke up slightly with her head swaying around “Help bed?” She said very drunkenly.

“Give me your hands again” he said offering his to her. Laura slowly raised her hands; Sean could see there will little focus left in her eyes as she giggled again.

Sean pulled and got her down from the sofa to kneeling in front of him. Laura drunkenly pawed at his crotch. “Law, you are drunk, not now!” he said, “plus Karen is asleep on the sofa there too” she looked at him grumpily.

“Oh” she said trying to open his fly.

“I am going to grab you around the arm pits and try and get you up” Sean said trying to pre-warn Laura where his hands were going. Laura just grunted. He bent down put his arms around by her armpits and lifted and struggled to get her to upright. They ended up in a hug, with her head on his chest.

He put his hands around her large waist and was about to steer her towards the stairs “ciggy?” she asked with drunken puppy dog eyes then looking towards the sofa and the nearly empty pack of cigarettes next to mountain of brown stained, stubbed out filters in the ashtray.

Sean left her stumbling for two seconds to grab the pack and the lighter which was balanced on top, he pulled a cigarette out of the box and put it in her mouth, and then like the novice he was struggled to get the lighter to work. Within a few seconds the cigarette lit and tucked in the left hand corner of Laura’s mouth, Sean stood on the right and steered her towards the stairs.

With a lot of effort from Sean, Laura made it up the stairs and in to the bathroom. Sean was surprized he wasn’t burnt by the cigarette bouncing around as they gently stumbled up the stairs.

Laura wobbled over with her dangled cigarette to the toilet and sat down and started to pee as Sean was retreating, “oopsy” she said as her shorts were still on, and she giggled lifted up her bum a little, almost falling off the toilet in the process, pulled them down and carried on.

“Ah does that explain the wet shorts earlier?” asked Sean from the safety of the landing.

“Maybe” Laura giggled again and inhaled “I’ve done, if your still there?” Laura said with her final tinkle against the porcelain with her exhale.